Altcoins Are Back, Bitches! 🚀 Sygnum’s Bold Prediction for Crypto’s Next Move

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Oh, look who it is—altcoins, finally remembering how to play nice in the sandbox! Sygnum’s Q3 2025 report is basically the universe’s most boring TikTok, but here we are: “regulatory clarity,” “liquidity surge,” and “onchain activity” are the new buzzwords. Who knew crypto could sound like a corporate team-building workshop? 😂

Earlier this year, geopolitical drama and US fiscal shenanigans made altcoins cry like a toddler in a candy store. But guess what? The market’s decided to throw a party, and the altseason train is finally chugging along. Sygnum’s report says it all: “capital rotation” (read: money’s having an affair with altcoins), “sustainable token models” (aka, “we’re not scams, honest”), and a 6% drop in Bitcoin’s dominance. Finally, Bitcoin’s stopped hogging the spotlight like a toddler with a party favor. 🐒

Bitcoin Hits New Highs on Supply Squeeze (Because There’s Not Enough BTC, Obvs)

Bitcoin’s still the belle of the ball, hitting $123k thanks to a supply squeeze that’s basically crypto’s version of a dating app algorithm. Sygnum’s report says liquidity trends are “extremely bullish,” which is just a fancy way of saying “there’s not enough BTC to go around.” And oh, those ETFs? They’ve gobbled up 110k BTC this quarter alone. If Bitcoin were a buffet, we’d all be on the waitlist. đŸœïž

Ethereum’s had a bit of a glow-up since its Pectra upgrade, which apparently fixed everything except the SEC’s ability to decide what’s a security. Sygnum’s report says Ether’s “broken its long-term downtrend,” which is just code for “we’re not panicking anymore.” Meanwhile, BNY Mellon and SociĂ©tĂ© GĂ©nĂ©rale are tokenizing stuff like it’s 2021 again. And don’t get me started on that Trump-backed stablecoin—it’s the crypto equivalent of a reality TV show. 🎬

DEX Market Share Hits 30% (Because Centralized Exchanges Need a Reality Check)

Decentralized exchanges are flexing, capturing 30% of spot trading after memecoins caused a volume spike that would make a casino blush. PancakeSwap and PumpSwap are the new kids on the block, while Raydium’s probably wondering where it went wrong. DeFi lending’s also hitting all-time highs, which is either genius or a recipe for disaster. Sygnum’s warning about a memecoin bubble? Let’s just say if this goes sideways, we’ll all be Googling “how to buy BTC in 2025.” 💾

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2025-07-30 12:12