Bitmain Dodges Tariffs With Great American Adventure—You Won’t Believe Why!

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It was a time of tariffs and tempests when Bitmain, the mighty titan of Bitcoin mining, found itself gazing eastward across the pale Pacific, towards the Promised Land of America—a move not unlike a merchant in a Russian village eyeing the next market before the frost descended, except with more bitcoins and fewer potatoes. 🥔🚢

Bitmain, the manufacturer hero—or villain, depending on one’s spiritual view on blockchains—whose hands forged
Bitcoin
BTC
$118,800 🚀

24h volatility: 0.2% (as stable as a Russian peasant under czarist taxes)
Market cap: $2.36T (but who’s counting? Oh right, we are)
Vol. 24h: $41.09B (some loose change for Lenin)

—had hatched a plan. By the end of the third quarter, as pumpkins ripen and American politics grows ever more theatrical, Bitmain would establish its proud headquarters and workshop on American soil. Texas beckoned with its big hats, while Florida seduced with its flamingos and questionable headlines. 🤠🦩

The Bloomberg scribes chronicled these ambitions, reporting that Bitmain would bless the land with 250 new jobs, for surely nothing says “Motherland” like assembling mining rigs in the shadow of Waffle Houses. Evidently, this was less a gift than a sly gambit to sidestep the great Trumpian tariffs, which fell upon foreign tech much as Napoleonic conscription fell upon the serfs: heavy and inescapable, unless you had a factory in Florida.

By mid-2025, a Chinese-made mining machine, if it dared cross the U.S. border, would be taxed not only once, but twice—totaling 35% in duties. (Even Tolstoy’s publishers took less from him.) All this, naturally, was done in the name of “security concerns,” that heroic phrase which allows governments to do nearly anything with their hats on straight. 🕵️‍♂️

Yet, like Tolstoy’s Russian nobles clinging to old estates, the Americans might be surprised to learn that, no matter their policies, Bitmain, Canaan, and MicroBT still lord over 90% of the world’s Bitcoin mining power. For in the world of blockchains as in Anna Karenina’s world, all happy miners are alike; each unhappy government is unhappy in its own way. 🍷💸

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2025-07-29 18:10