FTX: You *Might* Get Some Money Back…Eventually 🙄

by

Now, hold onto your hats, folks, ’cause this here tale is a humdinger. Seems that ol’ FTX, that crypto exchange that went belly up faster than a greased pig at a county fair, is fixin’ to dole out another smidgen of cash to its creditors. September 30th, they say. September 30th! Why, a snail could deliver the money faster. 🐌

The judge, bless his heart, gave ’em the go-ahead to lop off a cool $1.9 billion from what folks are disputin’ they’re owed. Seems they found a way to make that money…disappear. Not quite magic, just legal maneuvering, I reckon. A fella could get lost in all the paperwork.

A Reserve Slashed – Goodness Gracious!

Now get this. They announced, with a straight face I’d wager, that the next payout won’t be ‘til August 15, 2025. 2025! I’ll likely be wearin’ spectacles on my spectacles by then. Payments, if you can call ’em that, are supposed to commence around September 30th of that year. This applies to a heap of folks – Class 5, Class 6, and those with Convenience Claims, whatever those are. Sounds fancy, don’t it? 🤔

They managed to shrink that “disputed claims reserve” from $6.5 billion to $4.3 billion. That’s a tidy sum, alright. They say it frees up money, but they ain’t sayin’ *how much* money each fella will get. It’s like teasin’ a hound with a bone, I tell ya. 🦴

They’ll be usin’ BitGo, Kraken, and Payoneer to hand out the funds, these fancy service providers. Sounds like a complicated rigmarole just to send a few dollars.

And listen to this. You gotta prove who you are – a “Know Your Customer” verification, they call it – and turn in yer tax forms. Land sakes! It’s like applyin’ for a loan just to get back yer own money. And if yer entitlement got transferred, you best be on the official register ‘fore August, or you’re out of luck.

They brag they’ve already returned $6.2 billion to former customers, spread across two rounds. A good start, one supposes, but they aim to give back between $14.7 and $16.5 billion overall. Most folks, they say, will get back at least 119% of what they lost. Now, *that’s* what I call a profit! … If you can ignore the time and headache, of course.

Trouble Brewin’ From Across the Sea

Now, things get a bit prickly. Seems FTX wants to deny repayments to folks in 49 countries, including China, Russia, Saudi Arabia, and Pakistan. China alone accounts for a whopping $800 million in disputed claims! Goodness gracious, that’s a passel of money. 🌏

The Chinese creditors are riled up, and rightfully so. One fella, Weiwei Ji, is objectin’ on behalf of over 300 users, sayin’ it’s unfair and legally dubious. He’s got $15 million in claims himself! He argues that Chinese users shouldn’t be punished just ’cause of rules. He points out that crypto is considered property there, even if tradin’ it is a bit restricted.

It’s a tangled web, I tell ya. A tangled web of broken promises and legal wranglin’. Don’t hold yer breath waitin’ for that check to arrive, friends.

Read More

2025-07-24 21:46