Jack Dorsey Unleashes Bitcoin Madness: Sellers, Get Ready for a Crazy Ride! 🚀

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In the grand masquerade of digital commerce, Jack Dorsey’s mysterious Block, Inc. (NYSE: XYZ) has decided, with all the fanfare of a magician pulling a rabbit out of a top hat, to embrace the vibrant world of bitcoin. Yes, dear readers, it appears that today marks the inception of onboarding a chosen few, a cozy circle of sellers inducted into Square’s new native bitcoin acceptance experience! 🎩✨

With the flair of a court jester, the company’s executive officer took to the mystical realm of social media, exclaiming with unrestrained enthusiasm, “boom. today we’re onboarding our first few Square sellers for the new native bitcoin acceptance experience. this is the way!” Oh, the audacity of it all! This daring escapade is a grand leap towards the digital renaissance of payment methods, utilizing the Lightning Network to transform mundane transactions into a lightly sparkling affair, quicker than your grandmother can say “where’s my retirement fund?” ⚡💸

But wait! The winds of fate whisper that this rollout is anticipated to reach all eligible Square sellers by the mystical year of 2026, provided, of course, that the regulatory spirits do not rise in discontent. This whimsical initiative builds upon the glorious launch of Square’s Bitcoin Conversions feature in 2024, which bestowed upon merchants the enchanted ability to convert a portion of their sales into the elusive bitcoin. What a time to be alive, eh? 🤑💻

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2025-07-24 09:57