UK Sells Bitcoin, Feels Rich

So, apparently, the UK Home Office is dusting off a *massive* pile of bitcoin they snagged from criminals. Like, a really, really big pile. Potentially billions. 😅 Because nothing says “we’re serious about fighting crime” like turning ill-gotten gains into a shiny new government fund. The Telegraph reported it, so it *must* be true, right?

The UK is Liquidating Digital Loot Like a Boss

We’re talking about approximately 61,245 bitcoin (BTC). Sixty-one *thousand*! I’m pretty sure I can’t even remember my pin number that many times. 🤯 A good chunk of it comes from a 2018 raid – some Chinese investment fraud, naturally. Because of course it was. It’s like, the 2018 scams were just *overflowing* with Bitcoin.

According to Arkham Intelligence (who knew blockchain explorers were even a thing?), that single cache is now worth over £5.39 billion ($7.23 billion). My avocado toast budget is weeping. The Telegraph says they’re setting up a “crypto storage and realisation framework” to sell it all. Which, I assume, sounds a lot more impressive than “we’re gonna put it on eBay.”

And get this – the sales contract could be worth up to £40 million in commissions! Someone’s getting rich off of *other* people’s crimes. It’s like inception, but with cryptocurrency. 🤔 After they (hopefully) give some money back to the victims—because, you know, ethics—the rest goes to the government and law enforcement. Because fighting crime is expensive, people. Very expensive.

How much will the government *actually* get? Who knows! But it’s apparently enough to give Chancellor Rachel Reeves a little breathing room with those public finances. Because apparently, you can’t just print more Bitcoin. Go figure. 🤷‍♀️

Selling this crypto is a nice little non-tax revenue boost. But it’s not that simple. Legal stuff and victim claims are gonna muck things up, apparently. A professor from Cardiff University said so. His Majesty’s Treasury is *obviously* keeping a very close eye on this whole situation. Probably calculating how many new stationary sets they can buy. ✒️

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2025-07-21 03:57