AT&T’s Epic Fail: $177M to Fix a Data Breach That Wasn’t Even Their Fault 🤦‍♂️

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Mobile giant AT&T, in a move that could only be described as a cosmic joke, is preparing to pay a whopping $177,000,000 to current and former customers to settle a class action lawsuit over a pair of massive data breaches. 🚀

A judge, in a moment of what can only be described as a brief lapse of sanity, has granted preliminary approval for a settlement that will hand $177 million to people affected by the breaches. 🤔

The first breach, which occurred back in 2019, saw hackers steal sensitive data from 7.6 million current and 65.4 million former customers. AT&T, in their infinite wisdom, believes the data may have been taken from one of their vendors. Because, you know, it’s always someone else’s fault. 🙄

Despite this, the firm has acknowledged that data including customers’ social security numbers, names, and dates of birth was exposed. Because, why not? It’s not like that information could be used for anything nefarious. 🤪

The second breach, which happened last year, was a bit more… cloud-based. Hackers breached the company’s Snowflake cloud workspace environment, stealing smartphone call and text metadata of nearly 110 million customers from May to October 2022. Because, apparently, the cloud is just a place where data goes to get stolen. ☁️

People who can prove they suffered financial damages as a result of the data breaches will likely receive a larger share of the payout. Because, you know, it’s not like the rest of us didn’t suffer enough just knowing our data is out there, floating around in the digital ether. 🌌

At the time of publishing, affected customers are expected to receive notice of eligibility by mail or email, with the claims process coming in August. So, if you’re one of the lucky ones, keep an eye on your inbox. Or, you know, just assume you’re part of the breach and start claiming your share. 📬

Generated Image: Midjourney

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2025-07-04 23:21