You Won’t Believe How Many Russian Crypto Miners Laugh in the Face of Regulation! 😂

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In the penumbra cast by our snow-laden birch forests, a peculiar breed toils away—crypto miners, shuffling bits and dreams as silently as gulag ghosts. Regulations, drawn up with the trembling hands of our bureaucrats, hover above, but these miners? Ah! Only 30% choose the warmth of officialdom—while the rest cling to shadows like children to their babushkas’ aprons. So says our Finance Ministry, peering into the abyss of this digital tundra.

The state, ever hungry for order (and maybe your last potato), has made a ritual out of legalizing and corralling miners, intent on chasing them from smoky village huts into the fluorescent glare of legality. Yet, as of June’s sunny Tuesday (perhaps the sunniest bureaucratic Tuesday in memory), Ivan Chebeskov of the Finance Ministry confesses that most miners, much like errant turnips, remain unaccounted for. The official register has, so far, only captured 30% of these elusive creatures. The rest? Their hash rates echo through catacombs of forbidden basements, untouched by the taxman’s pen.

“The day we began herding our miners out of the obscurity, we believed we would bring sun to even the stalest cellars. But progress plods. Still only 30% have entered the register. Two-thirds still scurry in gloom. What now? Perhaps we chase them with more paper—perhaps with less,” muses Chebeskov, who, rumor has it, mines his own patience nightly.

But registration isn’t just about taxes—oh, no! The Motherland, in its boundless wisdom (and somewhat limp infrastructure), decreed that from 2025, crypto mining will be banished from the feeblest regions, especially on those hungry evenings when the electrical grid groans, dreaming it were somewhere warmer. You want to mine? Pick a region where the wires don’t weep.

From the Shadows to the Legally Taxed (And Occasionally Shocked) ⛏️

It was 2023 when crypto mining was crowned a lawful craft—no parade, just a knowing smirk from the tax collector. And what a craft! By 2024, the state added a 15% tithe to mining profits—unless, of course, you enjoy a little VAT-free coin shopping (vodka not included). In this land, cheap power flickers as a beacon for bold citizens and bedraggled businesses alike. Incomes rise, rubles fall, sanctions bite, but Bitcoin hums. Who knew, in these lands of frost and suspicion, the future would be mined—one blinking light at a time?

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2025-06-19 18:36