Is Your Wallet Hot Enough? Iran’s Nobitex Swings Into Action After $48M Oopsie

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In a delightful twist of fate that could make even the most stoic of androids chuckle, Iranian crypto exchange Nobitex has announced a rather unfortunate yet highly entertaining blunder: a security breach, reminiscent of a poorly executed magic trick, has left their hot wallet lighter by approximately $48.65 million. 💸✨

Now, not to be outdone, Nobitex has promptly hit the big red “Stop!” button on the affected systems—because obviously, when life gives you unauthorized access, the first step is to disable everything that could possibly be disabled. This has been promptly followed by an investigation that will surely rival the search for the Higgs boson in its complexity and urgency. 🔍

In an enlightening turn of events, Nobitex has reassured its user base—those brave souls navigating the chaotic cosmic seas of cryptocurrency—that all losses will be covered through the insurance fund and internal reserves. Not a single shekel should go unprotected! 💪 Meanwhile, the cold wallet assets are apparently sipping margaritas in a secure location, blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding in their warmer counterpart. 🍹

But wait, there’s more! Enter the enigmatic hacker group Gonjeshke Darande, who have taken full credit for this digital escapade, claiming affiliations with organizations that are decidedly pro-Israel. One can only wonder if they do birthday parties as well. 🎉

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2025-06-18 11:07