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You Won’t Believe What Pi Network Announced—And Why No One Cares

BBG News

Breaking news: The Pi Core Team (PCT) has just updated us about the .pi domain name auction. If you thought this was going to send Pi holders into a frenzy, think again. The community’s reaction? Let’s just say it was tepid enough to make lukewarm coffee look scalding. ☕️

Pioneers everywhere unleashed their inner disappointed dads hoping for a new bike and instead getting socks. (And these socks don’t even have funky patterns!) The only real headline from PCT: More .pi domain stuff. Meanwhile, PI token’s price is auditioning to be the next big loser on a crypto reality show, plummeting by 60% in a month—eat your heart out, meme coins.

Pioneers: “.pi Domains? That’s Your Big Trick?” 🎩🐇

Pioneers—those long-suffering, endlessly optimistic Pi Network stans—watch every announcement like it’s season finale night. They live for updates, especially ones that might finally make their portfolio look less like a cautionary tale.

PCT’s latest? The .pi domain auction is now its own app, with a stats page (ooh) and email notifications (ahh). Basically, you can now get notified in real time about things you still don’t care about. Innovation! 🚨

But on the eve of Pi2Day, most Pioneers were praying for something more “wow” and less “meh,” especially since their tokens are now worth about as much as confetti.

“If the Pi2Day announcement consists only of Pi domains and there is no further major news on Pi2Day, a very dark cloud will arise over Pi Network. Pi domains are not a bad thing, but it would be very bad if it stayed with this outdated announcement.” Pi Network News Global, clearly still holding out hope and batteries for their Pi mining machines.

Can you blame them? Piscan data shows that in over three months, about 3 million PI tokens ($1.8 million) have been spent on domain bids. That’s less than the daily trading volume of Pi, so it’s about as game-changing as a Monday morning spreadsheet.

Pi founder Nicolas Kokkalis once compared .pi domains to the Internet’s OG domain name system. Some investors dreamed of companies fighting over slick .pi URLs. Well… turns out reality didn’t read the memo (or just marked it as spam).

Pi Is Stuck in Neutral and No One Can Find the Jump Leads

How’s Pi’s real-world adoption? Six businesses have gone through KYB. Yes, just six. Even Subway has more than six bread options. The number of new exchange listings? Still a round zero.

The Pi Network Ventures fund—supposedly a high-rolling $100 million pot for startups—has yet to announce a single investment. It’s like one of those sitcom lottery episodes where everyone talks about their plans but no one ever actually cashes the ticket.

Some investors are getting antsy for the PCT to stop hyping and start doing, like fixing KYC issues or building things people actually want to use (crypto wild, I know).

“Great, but when will you fix KYC delays and deliver real tools? Tired of hype with no substance,” posted a crypto trader on X. If I had a nickel…

Sure, a .pi domain update is technically progress. But it’s not the kind that makes you text your friends in all caps. The PI token currently performs dramatic pratfalls at $0.60, down 35% last week alone. (At this point, even theater kids are applauding the commitment to the flop.)

And get this: Over 248 million PI tokens will be unlocked next July, making it the biggest token fireworks until October 2027. If you’re into selling pressure, mark your calendar now. 🎆💸

If trust is Pi Core Team’s secret ingredient, it’s time to find the recipe. Maybe try speed-running smart contracts, unlock this KYC boss level, or just release a real feature for once—before every Pi enthusiast walks off into the sunset muttering, “Remember when we thought this would change the world?”

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2025-06-16 11:22

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