Japan’s Plan to Buy 91K Bitcoin: Is This the End of Normal? 🤔

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Imagine Japan—yes, that Japan—deciding to turn their economy into a giant Bitcoin vending machine. Bitcoin logo Metaplanet, which sounds like a fusion between a sci-fi movie and a bad glue brand, has just upped its game from a modest 21,000 BTC to a whopping 100,000 by 2026. Because who needs safety in these uncertain times when you can just buy a small nation’s GDP worth of digital gold?

On June 6, the bold geniuses behind Metaplanet announced their new strategy—more like a desperate, dollar-sign-filled daydream—aiming to accumulate 100,000 BTC. That’s roughly enough to make your local bank branch rethink its entire business model. Their CEO, Simon Gerovich (which sounds like a villain’s alter ego), boldly proclaimed that their previous target was just a “dramatic revision.” Because apparently, major financial plans are now made in the mood of a Netflix binge—big, loud, and largely unpredictable.

Right now, they’re sitting on 8,888 BTC—like a dating profile with a few more digits than necessary—after scooping up 1,088 BTC on June 2. But the real fun begins now, as they pledge to buy at least 91,112 more coins. That’s nearly a hundred thousand, which is ironic because “nearly” and “Bitcoin” rarely go together unless you’re talking about how many people actually understand this whole cryptocurrency circus.

“Safe assets” aren’t safe anymore

Metaplanet’s frantic purchase spree is their way of saying, “Hey, the world’s economy is on a rollercoaster, and we’re not just riding—no, we’re building our own rollercoaster.” According to the brilliant CEO, the global economy has shifted from being all about traditional stuff like labor and capital to a shiny new world driven by information tech—that is, TikTok dances and blockchain. Plus, geopolitical risks, trade policy flamethrowers, and enormous sovereign debts are making safe assets look less like safe and more like a ticking time bomb.

Bitcoin chart

Gerovich, who has mastered the art of sounding wise while likely just guessing, said: “In this environment, capital has begun to realize that old safe bets—like government bonds—are now about as reliable as a chocolate teapot. Gold, meanwhile, is soaring like a kite caught in a hurricane.” He then waxed poetic about Bitcoin’s “high scarcity, ease of custody and transfer,” and its charming ability to avoid credit intermediaries—because nothing says “trustworthy” like a digital coin nobody fully understands.

555 million plan is the new 21 million plan

To fund their future Bitcoin binge, Metaplanet is issuing a new stock rights plan—basically a fancy way of saying “we’re selling a lot more pieces of paper to buy more digital gold.” They’re planning to issue up to 555 million shares—just a tad more than the 210 million they already had under their last ambitious plan—because nothing screams financial stability like gambling on a currency still considered a “speculative asset.”

Stock graph

By the end of 2027, their goal is to hold over 210,000 BTC—because apparently owning roughly 1% of all Bitcoin out there isn’t just a dream; it’s now their new reality. They plan to join what they call the “1% Club,” which sounds like club membership but is really just a fancy way of saying “we own a tiny chunk of the world’s future monopoly piece.”

All of this crypto chaos comes just after Standard Chartered BANK, no less, warned that more companies are jumping on the Bitcoin bandwagon—probably because they too think it’s a get-rich-quick scheme that might just work, or at least look good in quarterly reports. Out of 124 public companies, 61 now own a little over 3% of all Bitcoin, as if that small slice could somehow control everything—like a digital version of Monopoly, but with more existential dread.

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2025-06-06 13:03