It gives me considerable amusement to relate, dear reader, the recent manoeuvres of Mr. Michael Saylor—a gentleman whose fondness for the cryptic charms of Bitcoin is exceeded only by his flair for dramatic financial gestures. Earlier today, with a flourish much admired by those familiar with his exploits, Mr. Saylor made known to the world that Strategy (the name itself such a beacon of subtlety) has once again returned to the haute monde of billion-dollar spenders.
To be exact—which one must always endeavour to be in matters of fortune—this illustrious NASDAQ company expended no less than $1.34 billion in acquiring 13,390 Bitcoin, each scarcely less than $100,000. One presumes the transaction took place last week, when Bitcoin was feeling rather bashful and beneath $100,000 per coin. Rest assured, my dear, not for long; these assets are as prone to drama as any gentleman at a ballroom assembly.
“Strategy has acquired 13,390 BTC for ~ $1.34 billion at ~ $99,856 per bitcoin and has achieved a BTC yield of 15.5% year-to-date 2025. As of May the 11th, 2025, we ‘hodl’—forgive me, one must employ the vernacular—568,840 $BTC acquired for ~$39.41 billion at ~$69,287 per coin.”
— Mr. Saylor, exhibiting both brevity and a penchant for monetary exhibitionism
Contrast this, if you will, with the previous week’s paltry indulgence of a mere $180 million for 1,895 BTC; one can only imagine the genteel laughter in the drawing-room at such restraint! But now, Strategy’s zeal has restored its cache (pun quite intended) to an impressive trove of 568,840 Bitcoins. If Lady Catherine de Bourgh were still alive, she might inquire whether anyone of her acquaintance could boast such a collection.
These digital coins, acquired at an average of $69,283, now fetch a princely sum—over $59 billion altogether. Mr. Saylor, rather like a miserly lord who refuses to sell so much as a single topaz, chooses only to accumulate, much to the bafflement of the less visionary (or less well-funded) onlookers. Reports suggest his unrealized profits now total approximately $20 billion—enough, surely, to elicit envy even from Mrs. Bennet.
For those longing for the arcane details of how such transactions may render Bitcoin a deflationary asset, may I suggest a perusal of the latest treatise (do put the smelling salts within reach). Meanwhile, the price of MSTR—the family fortune, if you like—has soared by more than 33% over the past month, closing at a most satisfying $416 on Friday. One can only aspire to such profitable whimsy! 😏📈
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2025-05-12 16:47