You Won’t Believe What Lawmakers Want to Use to Protect Taiwan’s Economy 😲

by

As the weary moon hung over distant Formosa, Taiwan’s dignitaries sat about their tables, fretting not over poetry or rice, but over something far less tangible: their national currency trembling before the storms of global inflation and the ceaseless sabre rattling of great empires. Imagine an aristocrat clutching a purse, only to find moths, not silver, within. That’s the New Taiwan Dollar these days: frequently shifting value, reluctantly obeying the whims of international markets—an ever-dizzying ballroom dance with partners who refuse to stay in rhythm.

Into this tempest strode the lawmakers, earnest and undeterred. They asked themselves, “Shall we, a proud nation, turn to Bitcoin? Shall we call this digital plaything—once the tool of gamblers and ne’er-do-wells—our golden shield?” The debate rippled through marble halls like a tea scandal in a nobleman’s kitchen. (Oh, how the old economists must be spinning in their graves! If only they had invested in digital horses instead of stocks.)

And so it began: the tale of Taiwan’s quest for fiscal fortitude—equal parts tragedy, farce, and perhaps a touch of hope. Let us peer behind the curtain, dear reader, and see what comedy or calamity might lie ahead…

Taiwan’s Currency Debacle: Lamentations and Longings

Taiwan’s economy, reliant on exports like a merchant on his last bale of silk, found itself battered by overseas inflation and the ominous thunder of distant powers exchanging angry letters (and the occasional naval vessel). The New Taiwan Dollar, never one for composure, decided to cartwheel about the exchange rates for dramatic effect.

Taiwan legislator Ko Ju-Chun urges: “Let Bitcoin sit beside our gold and foreign reserves! Consider: it hedges, it adapts—it even fits on a USB stick. Can gold do that?”

— Wu Blockchain (@WuBlockchain) May 9, 2025

Currently, the nation’s wealth sits row upon row, 423 metric tons of gold glittering quietly, $577 billion in foreign exchange stashed away. But alas—over 90% of that is U.S. Treasury bonds! When you put so much trust in another’s vault, don’t be surprised if the doors get sticky in a storm.

The experts, with furrowed brows and much hand-wringing, worry: “What if calamity comes? What then of our tradition-bound reserves?” (Translation: we could end up holding little more than wallpaper.)

The Proposal: Bitcoin Joins the Pageant

To answer these slings and arrows, legislator Ko Ju-Chun, armed with no more than a tie and a stubborn optimism, proposed: “Let us add Bitcoin to our royal treasury. It resists inflation! Its supply: fixed at 21 million coins. Its governance: not by kings or presidents, but by mathematics, which has never started a war (yet).”

He did not suggest tossing gold into the river, nor burning dollars in protest. Nay, just a small dab of Bitcoin—enough, perhaps, to make the future less terrifying, and parliamentary debates marginally more entertaining. (Picture it: “Order! Order! My Bitcoin wallet has been hacked!”)

Applause, Skepticism, and a Dash of Sarcasm

No sooner had Ko spoken than voices rose in support. Former Premier Chen Cong, not known for his wild nights at crypto casinos, pronounced: “Fine, maybe you can’t buy dumplings with Bitcoin—but it will probably go up in value while you’re arguing about it.”

Meanwhile, Professor Liu Yiru of National Taiwan University, presumably grading essays somewhere in the background, pointed out: Bitcoin cannot be printed by the whims of a nervous finance minister. (Sad for finance ministers. Good for everyone else.)

Other Nations: No Monopoly on Madcap Ideas

Taiwan is hardly alone in its financial adventure. Across the seas, the good people of New Hampshire—pioneers in maple syrup and occasionally in monetary policy—have just passed the “Bitcoin Reserve Act.” Imagine: a state that willingly adds Bitcoin to its piggy bank. Somewhere out there, Satoshi Nakamoto is either grinning or facepalming.

Other regions, never wanting to be left out, now scurry to follow suit. If the future belongs to digital gold, at least Taiwan and her peers are early to the rush. If not, well, at least it’ll make for a good story—preferably not a tragic one, but history does love a twist ending. 😏

Read More

2025-05-09 15:55