Man Makes $43 Million in Minutes, Crypto Exchange Throws Temper Tantrum—You Won’t Believe This!

Alright, so Just a nice, wholesome $43 million from textbook trading practices.” 🤷‍♂️ Meanwhile, Bitget is over on the side, absolutely kvetching and muttering something about “illicit” behavior and a professional arbitrage group walking away with $20 million. Honestly, who’s counting at this point?

Market Maker’s Account: Just Two Guys and Totally Innocent Trading (Supposedly)

So qntxxx and their trusty sidekick—let’s call them Robin to qntxxx’s Batman—launch into the market-making business in 2022, after the LUNA implosion. Because when a crypto exchange explodes, what do you do? Repeat the magic on the next one, obviously! They sniff around the smaller joints—Bitget, Gate, you know, the kind of places your mother tells you not to leave your wallet unattended.

Apparently, the market gets real quiet. Not sure if everyone fell asleep or what, but these guys start piling in orders. Some token called VOXEL gets frisky, volume shoots up, and suddenly, they think, “Why not? Let’s bring in 100 sub-accounts and really set the mood.” I mean, if there’s one thing that screams “nothing to hide,” it’s using 100 alternate accounts. 🙄

They start reminiscing about LUNA, which is basically the crypto version of bragging you survived a food fight in middle school. Candlesticks are bouncing around like they’re in a mosh pit, which apparently is exactly what high-frequency traders live for. Next thing you know, boom: $43 million.

Bitget claims $20 million vanished faster than free bagels at an office meeting, but qntxxx says their withdrawal was only $10 million—because, you know, honesty is key. Then Binance steps in and says, “Not so fast,” freezing a couple hundred grand just for kicks. And yet they swear, all legit! No one exploited anything, unless you count exploiting chaos itself.

They’re adamant: the $43 million? Rightfully theirs. They just outplayed Bitget at Bitget’s own game. Maybe Bitget should’ve just played better defense, you know?

Bitget Cries Foul and Starts Chasing Its Tail

Bitget rolls out a statement like a parent busting you for “borrowing” their car—“Eight suspicious accounts! Professional arbitrage! Illicit profits!” The works. Decides to airdrop whatever loose change they can scrounge up back to the users. Very generous, I’m sure. 🤑

If you were a retail trader in VOXEL between 16:00 and 16:30 on April 20th, congrats, your account’s fine, go back to sleep. About $19 million already slipped through, and apparently Bitget has bigger fish—or whales—to fry. Also, let’s play everyone’s favorite game: guess the amount of “abnormal profits!” Drumroll please… $38.31 million. But if you’re not one of the lucky eight, you can keep your loot. Mazel tov!

Grab the Popcorn: We’re Going to Court 🍿

The legal drama begins. qntxxx gets themselves a lawyer because when hundreds of millions are at stake, you don’t go alone. They’re suing Bitget Singapore for “unauthorized fund seizures”—love the legal jargon. They trash Bitget’s rollback process as “chaotic,” which honestly feels like the theme here. Balances are off, fees are being yoinked, user accounts getting tripped up like a Three Stooges routine. Bitget says everyone’s fine. qntxxx insists it’s a mess. Two sides, one mess.

Is It a Bug or Just Really Bad Luck?

Bitget wants to call this a “bug”—as if making $40 million in 30 minutes is the same as finding a five-dollar bill in a winter coat. “It’s like the bank accidentally credited your account!” Sure it is, except instead of the bank, it’s a casino and you’re playing against card counters.

qntxxx isn’t having it. They say, “Hey, we didn’t rob the vault, we just took the chips off the table.” If there’s a bug, point to it on the doll, because so far, everyone just seems angry that someone else won big. And honestly, can you blame them?

To wrap this up: one group says they gamed the system fair and square, the exchange says they got played and wants their marbles back. Courtrooms, drama, more lawyers than Thanksgiving turkeys. Just another day in crypto, folks. 🦃

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2025-05-06 01:13