Millionaires or Meme Lords? Bitcoin’s $100K Race Has Wall Street Chewing the Scenery

The world’s favourite digital gambler, Bitcoin, appears to have shattered its inhibitions and is hurtling with the reckless élan of an Oxford undergrad on a bender towards the mesmerising summit of $100,000—giving even the most imperturbable market watchers palpitations and perhaps the odd urge for a stiff gin. 🥂

Bitcoin Teeters on $100K: Strategist Sees Crypto Bacchanal Through Q2 BTC

Matt Mena—by all accounts a strategist of some standing at the frightfully modern-sounding 21Shares—took time off from what we can only imagine is a very intense crypto yoga retreat last Friday to opine on the latest U.S. jobs report. The data: 177,000 jobs (an auspiciously prime number, coin-flippers and numerologists take note), now ushering in month number 52 of growth and a suspiciously symmetrical unemployment of 4.2%. Mena, not unlike a mid-tier clergyman in the pulpit, intoned: “The hiring’s off a touch, but not enough to inspire mass panic or the wafting scent of recession. Instead, it’s all champagne and caviar on Wall Street once again.” He observed—possibly from an ergonomically questionable beanbag chair—that the S&P 500, that old warhorse, sprang past 5,600 like a debutante with new shoes and is flirting with 5,700 with barely a blush.

And then, sweeping with all the subtlety of an Edwardian dowager at a village fête, Mena pivoted gracefully to crypto. “Risk?” he declared, “It’s back en vogue.” (Fashion, like histories, repeats itself with uncanny imprecision.) Bitcoin, not content to languish among lesser altcoins, barrelled through its $95,000 resistance like a rogue cricket ball through a greenhouse window.

This new appetite for risk is propelling bitcoin toward the $100K finish line. Strike up the band and dust off your moon-landing banners. The $95K resistance? Yesterday’s soufflé, collapsed and forgotten, with BTC sprinting meltingly onwards the moment it broke through—quite like an heiress seeing the dessert tray.

Mena, grasping the macroeconomic nettle with firm hands, opined that “With the equity markets prancing upwards and everyone stuffing their pockets with liquidity, bitcoin is strutting about as a high-beta macro asset—one part reckless young lord, one part canny old fox, entirely at the mercy of the mob’s risk cravings and taste for effortless riches.” 🎩

As for the monetary backdrop: “Markets have suddenly decided four or five rate cuts are as inevitable as rain at Ascot—rolling the odds from last month’s 30% to a rather plump 65%,” he remarked. “This has encouraged a veritable stampede into ‘hard assets’—gold, jewels, and naturally bitcoin, that most non-sovereign, fixed-supply oddity, beloved by libertarians and tech bros alike.” He went on, in what one imagines was a flourish of PowerPoint: “Global M2 liquidity is swelling like an overwatered pudding—usually followed by bitcoin price action (give or take 12 weeks for digestion). The charts, he claims, are already beginning to burp accordingly.”

To close this Dickensian cabaret, Mena drove his point home with a flourish reminiscent of a cricket team collapsing in the final innings:

“With technical momentum roaring, central banks swooning, and equities feeling their oats, Bitcoin is poised—dare I say destined—to attempt an assault on the fabled $100K. Should the public’s appetite for risk persist (and when has it not?), and should the liquidity tap flow like vintage port, BTC might, by quarter’s end, not only reclaim its all-time high, but demand a fresh headline at $108K. Someone, kindly fetch the smelling salts.” 🤑🚀

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2025-05-04 04:03