In the bustling, bustling marketplace of crypto—a place where fortunes vanish faster than one can lose a galosh in Petersburg’s muddy streets—an unsettling spectacle! Coinbase, that bureaucratic behemoth of exchanges, has pronounced a most somber decree: the trading of Movement’s MOVE token must halt, effective the ignominious date of May 15, right before supper (2:00 p.m. for the mathematically inclined). “Recent reviews,” they mutter, as if confessing late in life that they’d never actually read Pushkin.
How the people did wail (or at least grumble on Twitter)! MOVE was not content to fall politely—no, it performed a dramatic leap from the proverbial balcony, dropping more than 13%, while the rest of the market danced merrily upwards by a healthy 4.4%. The scene resembled a ball where, upon hearing scandalous gossip, one guest faints and all others reach for more punch.
Movement Labs, those tireless somber souls, are now shaking their heads and notebooks, desperately tracing how their precious tokens scampered away into the grubby hands of a market maker—Web3Port, whose name is whispered in smart contracts, courtrooms, and questionable Telegram groups alike. No one is certain if Web3Port’s deeds represent villainy or simply boredom on a Thursday, but in the chaos, it seems the humble investor once again donated their shirts for the cause.
Details from Coinbase? About as forthcoming as a government clerk at lunchtime. The only certainty: trading? Gone! Explanation? Wafted into the breeze, just another story told by the fire. At the appointed hour, trading stops, and the void consumes all guesses and remaining liquidity.
We regularly monitor the assets on our exchange to ensure they meet our listing standards. Based on recent reviews, we will suspend trading for Movement (MOVE) on May 15, 2025, on or around 2 PM ET.
— Coinbase Assets 🛡️ (@CoinbaseAssets) May 1, 2025
As a final gesture—some would say a love letter, others a stifled giggle—Coinbase slid MOVE into “limit-only mode.” This, dear reader, is the financial equivalent of letting people shout prices through a locked door, a system so precise only a Russian bureaucrat could love it. No spot price chaos, just dignified, measured doom.
In conclusion: MOVE has moved, the doors are closed, and somewhere in a cold office, a clerk is sighing, “Not my circus, not my tokens.” 🕵️♂️💸
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2025-05-01 20:07