Bitcoin’s Weekend Drama: Will It Tango or Faceplant Again? 💃📉

Ah, crypto sentiment, that whimsical creature, has fluttered back from the depths of tariff-induced gloom—much like an aging debutante brushing off a minor scandal. Yet, our dear analysts warn us: beware the weekend, when liquidity becomes as elusive as a polite nightclub conversation. 🕺💸

This week, after the ever-entertaining spectacle of President Trump tinkering with tariffs like a man fiddling with his cufflinks, investors dared to don their dance shoes again. The promise that tariffs “may come down substantially” was music to their jittery ears.

But don’t pop the champagne corks just yet. Bitfinex’s sages whispered to CryptoMoon, with all the gravitas of a seasoned soothsayer:

“Sentiment improvements reduce fragility, but they do not eliminate structural risks like thin weekend liquidity.”

In plain English? Weekends remain the wild west—sharp moves abound when the market’s skeleton crew takes their sabbatical. If a surprise macroeconomic bombshell drops, hold onto your hats; volatility will likely do the Charleston across your portfolio.

Our leading star, Bitcoin (BTC), sashayed up nearly 11% this week, but as Sunday’s liquidity party fades, the rally often finds itself shuffled off stage.

Bitcoin graph certainly trying hard

Recall Sunday, April 6th: Bitcoin dipped below $75,000, despite playing hard to get with the US stock market’s disastrous $3.5 trillion nosedive earlier in the week. Jerome Powell’s grumbling about tariff hors d’oeuvres possibly spoiling the economic feast added a sour note.

The weekend’s thin liquidity was like a hall full of drinkers with one bottle—Bitcoin was the lonely asset up for de-risking, and naturally, it took a tumble. Industry insiders confided in CryptoMoon that the cocktail of low volume and high stakes makes for quite the hangover.

Marcin Kazmierczak of RedStone blockchain oracle fame opined sagely, “A sunnier sentiment might stop the market from keeling over completely, but weekend trades still resemble a tightrope walk in roller skates.”

He added with a cautionary smile, “So yes, feel the cushion—but don’t toss the net aside just yet.”

Have We Tariffed Ourselves Out of Fear? 🧐

According to Nansen’s keen Aurélie Barthere, the market’s tariff jitters might just have hit their limit. “It’s like we’ve said our bit, had our shivers, and now we’re bored,” she suggested, over a saucy glass of metaphorical sherry.

“Many are still nervy about next month’s plot twists, but there’s a sense the audience is ready for an encore—the signal that the game’s not yet over.”

Will this encore have legs? “It depends,” says Ms. Barthere, “on whether we can dance past previous resistance points without tripping. Rumor has it there’s a ‘Trump put’ under equities and the US dollar—our safety net or fool’s cushion, take your pick.”

She trotted out a previous forecast from Nansen: a 70% chance of hitting the crypto bottom and flirting with recovery come June, provided the tariff tango doesn’t end in a slap.

Raoul Pal, our favourite macro impresario, mused that all the tariff posturing might be just that—a theatrical prelude to the grand prize: a US-China trade tryst.

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2025-04-26 17:02