Fate’s Gambit: $200M Long, a Crypto Sonata & Trump’s Peculiar Jazz 😜

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In the dimming light of digital dreams, Andrew Kang—a mystic amid modern bazaars—casts his lot anew by doubling his embrace of Bitcoin with a staggering $200M long. The onchain scrolls murmur secrets as if reciting verses of an ancient romance.

“Andrew Kang just doubled his Bitcoin position,” intones the prophetic chorus of Arkham, echoing through the ether. A crypto address, linked to our enigmatic maestro, waged another $100M in this surreal ballet—profit or a whimsical $6.8M loss, the night holds its breath in amused suspense. 😉

On April 9, as if the stars aligned for a fated overture, the wallet tied to Kang risked a $100M leverage-long on Bitcoin. All the while, the ever-boisterous Trump proclaimed on Truth Social, “THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO BUY!!! DJT,” a declaration that rippled like a mischievous note through the corridors of destiny.

Mere hours hence, irony took center stage—a governmental pause of 90 days on a tariff regime that had once cast grim shadows on markets, now replacing despair with a carnival of rallying hopes for crypto and stocks alike.

Kang, with a philosopher’s glimmer on his digital scroll, mused on April 12 that the surrender of trade wars and a “Trump put”—an almost comical pact with fortune—were the perfect ingredients to reverse Bitcoin’s melancholic descent, as if a long-forgotten melody were rekindled by autumn’s sigh.

Meanwhile, in the lofty halls of governance, Senate Democrats penned a letter to the SEC—a fervent call for an inquiry into an inner waltz of insider trading and market manipulation. The letter hinted, with a wink of sarcasm, that perhaps Trump’s digital sonnet had hintingly revealed more than a mere market opinion.

Bitcoin Choppy on Tariff Confusion

Bitcoin, that capricious wanderer, swayed over 2% in the span of a restless day as the administration juggled tariff exemptions for Chinese electronics like a mischievous jester.

The coin dipped to a woeful 24-hour low of $83,197—erasing the bravado of weekend gains—only to rise again, performing a flat, yet hopeful, dance around $85,000 after briefly flirting with a high of $85,315, as the digital bards of CoinGecko intoned.

And then, Trump, with a signature blend of jest and seriousness, declared on Truth Social on April 13 that no such tariff “exception” had been born on that fated Friday—instead, Chinese electronic levies now resided in a new Tariff “bucket” of 20%, as if the universe itself chuckled at the absurdity. đŸ€Ł

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2025-04-14 09:30