- Our dear friend Trump, in his infinite wisdom (or perhaps confusion 😅), declared a grand pause in his tariff symphony – except for China, naturally. Poor China, always the party pooper! 🎭
- Oh, the poetry of numbers! China gets slapped with 125% tariffs (because why not make it impossibly high? 🤷♂️), while others bask in the warmth of mere 10%. Such is life in the garden of economic warfare!
- Bitcoin, that rebellious child of the digital age, soared like Zhivago’s spirit to $81,000. Meanwhile, the altcoins performed their own passionate ballet, leaping over 10% in elegant bounds. 💃
On this peculiar Wednesday, as if written in the pages of a modern epic, cryptocurrencies pirouetted upward upon Trump’s proclamation from his digital throne (Truth Social – oh, the irony! 😏).
Like a capricious tsar, Trump declared his 90-day mercy – except for China, of course. One might say he’s playing favorites, but aren’t we all? 🎭
Bitcoin, that mysterious digital Lara to our crypto Zhivago, waltzed past $81,000, painting the charts with a 5.5% stroke of green. Such passion! Such drama! 🎨
The altcoins, not to be outdone in this grand performance, staged their own revolution – XRP, SOL, AVAX, LINK, HBAR, and SUI leading the parade with gains that would make even the most stoic trader weep with joy. 🎪
Even the traditional markets joined our carnival, with Nasdaq and S&P 500 performing their own merry dance. It’s as if the whole financial world decided to throw a party! 🎉
And lo, earlier that day, Trump himself had proclaimed it “a great time to buy.” How prophetic, how poetic, how… predictably unpredictable! 🎭
Read More
- Clash Royale Best Boss Bandit Champion decks
- Mobile Legends November 2025 Leaks: Upcoming new heroes, skins, events and more
- PUBG Mobile or BGMI A16 Royale Pass Leaks: Upcoming skins and rewards
- The John Wick spinoff ‘Ballerina’ slays with style, but its dialogue has two left feet
- Kingdom Rush Battles Tower Tier List
- Delta Force Best Settings and Sensitivity Guide
- Clash Royale Season 77 “When Hogs Fly” November 2025 Update and Balance Changes
- Vampire’s Fall 2 redeem codes and how to use them (June 2025)
- Stocks stay snoozy as Moody’s drops U.S. credit—guess we’re all just waiting for the crash
- ‘Australia’s Most Sexually Active Woman’ Annie Knight reveals her shock plans for the future – after being hospitalised for sleeping with 583 men in a single day
2025-04-09 21:10