Unraveling Trump’s Tariff Trick: How Crypto Miners Gasp in Bitter Irony! 🤭

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  • In a curious twist of fate, Trump’s tariffs seem poised to send mining rigs scampering to foreign lands.
  • The U.S. Bitcoin mining realm witnessed a dismal $12B vanish, as if in a magical vanishing act of commerce.

Ah, dear reader, in a world where absurdities abound like mischievous sprites, our erstwhile leader, Donald Trump, has concocted new tariff spells that ripple through the crypto bazaar like an inexplicable folk tale. Such is the comedy of errors that now envelops the hapless miners!

As narrated by the venerable Jaran Mellerud of Hashlabs Mining—whose wisdom is as labyrinthine as the streets of an old Petersburg alley—rumors abound that the U.S. may soon witness a grand decline in the craving for those elusive Bitcoin [BTC] rigs, now priced as if cursed by a jester’s hand.

With American miners gasping at rising costs, the cunning artificers of mining apparatus, in a move as ironic as a samovar in the desert, pour forth their surplus contraptions into faraway markets. A boon, perhaps, for distant lands where humor meets opportunity!

The curious report continues with a flourish of wry humor, stating,

“As the price of the iron beast climbs in the U.S., like a drunken lout on a winter’s night, it may well dip in far-off realms. Soon, the demand to ship these machines to America might vanish as quickly as a dream at dawn.” 😊

The U.S. Fumbles While Others Revel

Mellerud, with the precision of a satirical narrator, observes that American miners have lost their appetite, leaving manufacturers with an overabundance of rigs meant for a nation now bewildered by its own contrivances.

To remedy such an excess, these clever merchants may engage in a sale of epic proportions, directing their wares to thriving markets abroad.

In a twist of wicked irony, the same producers—Bitmain, MicroBT, and Canaan—previously fled to the warm embrace of Southeast Asia to dodge tariffs on China, only to find that these exotic climes now bear tariffs of their own: 36% in Thailand, 32% in Indonesia, and 24% in Malaysia. Oh, what a circus! 🤡

Escalating U.S. Rig Prices: A Comedy of Errors

Mellerud prophesies that Trump’s latest tariff incantation may cause a dramatic ascent in U.S. rig prices—the modest $1,000 contraption now inflated to a princely sum of approximately $1,240 by the cruel hand of import duties.

Mining Rig Tariff Drama

He further muses with a sardonic twinkle in his eye,

“Even if these tariffs dissolve like morning mist in a few months, the injury is done—confidence in long-term ventures is as fragile as a paper lantern in a storm. Few souls will dare commit to grand investments when such capricious winds blow.” 🤔

Once, many American miners regarded Trump’s return as a beacon of stability. Now, alas, his unexpected tariff decree has shaken that hopeful fervor to its very core.

For the uninitiated, the United States—long the venerated leader of the global Bitcoin mining saga since the mysterious 2021 crackdown—contributes roughly 36% to the total hashrate, according to the wise sages of Hashrate Index.

Yet, Trump’s recent rallying cry for “reciprocal tariffs,” proclaimed on the fabled 2nd of April, now threatens to upend this reign, casting a shadow on the dominion of American ingenuity.

The Woes of Crypto Stocks and the Global Farce

Moreover, the fickle world of Bitcoin mining stocks has seen its fortunes sour, with a collective loss surpassing a staggering $12 billion since February—a loss that snatched away the early 2024 gains like a mischievous phantom.

The heftiest mining firms, caught in the tempest of tumultuous double-digit declines, now serve as a grim parable of investor dismay.

And as the latest chronicles from CoinMarketCap reveal, the global crypto market cap has tumbled to $2.44 trillion—a daily decline of 3.02%, as if the market danced to a melancholy tune.

Bitcoin itself, once a soaring phoenix above the $100,000 threshold, now languishes at $76,881.52, succumbing to an 8% weekly fall and a relentless daily drop exceeding 3%. Truly, a dramatic farce where lofty dreams dissolve like dew in the morning sun! 😅

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2025-04-09 13:18