Wall Street Apocalypse? Trump Tariff Takedown is Coming, Brace for Impact! 🚀

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So here we are, folks. An economist—yes, that one who’s followed religiously by 208,600 people on X—claims that Donald Trump’s tariff tantrum might just pull a 2008 déjà vu. It’s like watching your least favorite horror movie remake, except with more spreadsheets and fewer jump scares. 😏

Alex Krüger, our resident doomsayer (or entertainer, depending on your caffeine levels), assures his legion online that Trump’s trade war is stirring up all sorts of conditions ripe for a credit crisis. Picture a world where people actually want to pay interest, but banks are too busy playing hard-to-get with their loans.

According to our fearless economist, if lenders decide that the economy is about as predictable as a cat on a hot tin roof, the S&P 500 might just relive its 2008 nightmare. Because who doesn’t love a little déjà vu paired with financial ruin? 😅

“This is how the 2008 bear market looked like—-a neat 50% drop in a single year. And oh, the parade of relentlessly upbeat news starting in October! Sometimes even drowning in liquidity won’t save you.”

“Once the credit markets go belly-up, stopping that runaway snowball is as likely as Trump apologizing for a tweet.”

“We could be just two tweets away from total financial bedlam—with Europe throwing its own curveballs, and Trump well, losing his cool in his usual, unpredictable fashion.”

“Admittedly, it would take more than a tweet-fueled tantrum to recreate a decade-long bear market. After all, 2008 was a bona fide credit crunch, and that’s not exactly the current flavor of chaos.”

“However, make no mistake—a trade war can indeed trigger a credit crisis: Stagflation sets in, consumer spending freezes, corporates start to implode, banks capsize… and then, well, game over.” 😬

Oh, and according to Krüger, Trump’s tariffs might even usher the US into a recession faster than you can say “economic apocalypse.”

“If this tariff tango keeps escalating, then, spoiler alert, anything is possible. Trust me on this—no stone is left unturned in today’s surreal economic circus.”

By the way, as of Monday’s close, the S&P 500 was flirting with 5,062 points. Not exactly a number to write home about, unless you’re writing a letter to your bank. 😉

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2025-04-08 17:43