Crypto Cops Disbanded?! Government’s Surprising U-Turn

Honestly, darlings, who knew the government could be so fickle about its shiny crypto crackdown squad? According to an internal memo (procured by none other than Fortune on April 8—way to keep a secret, guys), the feds have decided to wave goodbye to the National Cryptocurrency Enforcement Team (NCET). 😱 Yes, that dear little group that used to glare suspiciously at your digital piggy bank is now off to do something far more… entertaining, presumably.

The End of NCET and its Focus Shift

Once upon a time (under the Biden administration), NCET was basically the crypto police—bustling around, shutting down platforms like Tornado Cash, sniffing out shady deals allegedly tied to North Korean operatives, and generally saving us from evil pixel coins. They bundled up experts (cue deep-voiced movie trailer narrator) from cybercrime and money-laundering squads, giving us all a sense that the digital Wild West was under control. But now—poof—it’s going, going, gone! 🪄

Naturally, Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche stepped up to clarify that the Department of Justice isn’t exactly a financial babysitter. (Who’d have guessed?) He said they’re tired of using lawsuits to hammer out crypto rules like they’re the world’s scariest micromanaging parents. Instead, the DOJ is bravely soldiering on by prosecuting proper criminals—like scammers, fraudsters, and market-manipulating miscreants—while leaving the friendly neighborhood crypto kids alone. Phew. 😌

Recalibration Across Federal Agencies

So, in case you missed the memo (not that we all have insider connections), this NCET shutdown reflects a wider policy shuffle. Agencies such as the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) are taking a deep breath, grabbing a latte, and reconsidering how they want to approach the ever-puzzling digital asset realm.

Let’s not forget Acting SEC Chair Mark Uyeda, who recently announced the SEC would be rethinking its venerable Howey Test. Rumor has it the goal is to match up with the new administration’s priorities on crypto regulation. Translation: more guidelines, fewer knee-jerk freakouts. Sounds promising, right? 🤔

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2025-04-08 17:40

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