Bitcoin Dodges Tariff Bullet, But Not the Market Slump 😵

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So, you thought the rocketcryptocurrency market was safe from the whims of global politics? Think again! 🤣

President Trump 🦅dropped a bombtariff bombshell that sent Bitcoin and its digital cousins plummeting faster than you can say “digital asset depreciation”.

In a dramatic speech from the White House Rose Garden 🌹that could have doubled as a soap opera cliffhanger, Trump announced tariffs so steep they made Wall Street’s knees go weak.

Bitcoin, the king of crypto, took a nosedive 💼straight into the red, leaving investors wondering if they should have invested in goldfish instead. Ethereum and XRP weren’t spared either, with drops that made the stock market look like a kiddie pool.

But fear not, dear investors, for Michael Saylor, the CEO of MicroStrategy, is here to save the day (or at least try). With a tweet as bold as his hair, he proclaimed: “There are no tariffs on Bitcoin.” 📢

There are no tariffs on Bitcoin.

— Michael Saylor (@saylor) April 3, 2025

Investors were quick to reply with questions like, “Then why is my portfolio looking like a deflated balloon?”

Despite the chaos, MicroStrategy remains as committed to Bitcoin as ever. They recently spent $2 billion on 22,048 BTC, making their total holdings enough to buy a small country (or a large pizza).

Bitcoin Dodges Tariff Bullet, But Not the Market Slump 😵

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2025-04-03 19:22