Senator’s Genius Plan: Bitcoin from Flare Gas 🌪️💰

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In a twist of fate, a Texas Senator dreams big—tax breaks for turning flares into digital gold.

In the vast expanse of Texas, where the oil flows like water and the sun bakes the earth, U.S. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) has cooked up a scheme as bold as a cowboy’s mustache. On March 31, he trotted out the Facilitate Lower Atmospheric Released Emissions (FLARE) Act, a bill with the noble aim of turning the fire of wasted gas into the fire of digital fortune.

To rewrite the dusty Internal Revenue Code of 1986, allowing crypto miners to expense fully their equipment that captures the gas that would otherwise be set ablaze in a fiery display of waste.

Senator Cruz, with the vision of a man who sees gold in the glow of a flame, wants to make Texas the epicenter of this newfangled digital mining. Imagine, the very air that was once a symbol of excess, now feeding the digital beast that is Bitcoin.

“I’m dead set on making Texas the numero uno spot for Bitcoin mining. The FLARE Act? It’s like giving a fat cow to a hungry man—no waste, all gain,” Cruz declared.

“This here bill,” he drawled, “it’s not just about turning fumes into funds; it’s about keeping the lights on and the bitcoiny wheels a-turnin’. And let’s not forget, it’s a kick in the pants to any foreign fellas looking to muscle in on our energy pie.”

And would you believe it? The Digital Power Network, a group that’s all about the love affair between tech and juice, is right behind Cruz, cheering him on like a rodeo clown egging on the bull.

Hailey Miller, their top governmental wrangler, had this to say:

“We’re over the moon about Senator Cruz’s FLARE Act. It’s like finding a diamond in the rough, turning flares into the shiny new coin of the realm. Bitcoin miners, with their digital pickaxes, are the new heroes of energy efficiency.”

“We’re tipping our hats to Senator Cruz,” she continued, “and we’re rarin’ to help turn this bill into the law of the land.”

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2025-04-02 05:01