Polar Orbits and Crypto: The Weirdest Space Road Trip Yet 🚀

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SpaceX is at it again, rebranding space as the ultimate bougie vacation spot. This time, they’re sending a rocket on an over-the-poles detour funded by a cryptocurrency investor. No, seriously. You’re not getting punked; it’s just 2025 being peak chaos. 🤷‍♀️

The main character here is Chun Wang, a cryptocurrency wizard who co-founded F2Pool—because mining Bitcoin in *actual* space isn’t ambitious enough. Wang declared, “Why settle for just Moon maps when you can geek out over white blobs on polar maps too?” Inspirational, right? 🤔

The Falcon 9 rocket will blast off from Florida (because Florida!) at the oddly precise bedtime—9:46 p.m.—on Monday. It’s carrying Wang and his gang of plucky space rookies: Jannicke Mikkelsen, a Norwegian cinematographer fully ready for her paparazzi moment in orbit; Eric Philips, an Australian adventurer probably wishing this was just another Outback camping trip; and Rabea Rogge, the earnest German graduate student who’s probably wondering why she agreed to fly over two polar ice sheets while strapped inside a tin can. 🧊✨

Oh, what’s the vibe for their three to five days in space? Science experiments! Health studies! And an unmistakable air of “we’re cooler than your work trip to Wichita.” Mikkelsen even confessed, “I’m hyped to point my camera at the world’s truly epic cold endpoints. Instagram, please take notes.” 📸

When it’s all over, SpaceX promises a “chill” splashdown in the ocean off the U.S. West Coast. Jessica Jensen from SpaceX casually hinted this whole escapade is just a trial run for hopping planets like they’re budget airlines. Welcome to the future, folks: space travel as easy as booking a seat in coach—minus the legroom drama. 🛫🌎

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2025-03-31 22:13