Trump Family Mining Bitcoin?! It’s Like a Casino, But with Computers!

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Holy Bitcoin Bat-Signal! Hut 8, the publicly-traded crypto mining company, is joining forces with the Trump family to launch “American Bitcoin.” Why? Probably because “The Trump Coin” sounded too much like an infomercial at 3 a.m. 😂

So here’s the scoop: Florida-based Hut 8 is merging a chunk of its mining operations in exchange for an 80% stake. But wait, who’s behind this American Bitcoin circus? It’s the president’s sons, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. Yep, when it comes to mining, they’re not talking about coal, folks. No black lung here, just golden coins and hashtags.

For those playing along at home, American Bitcoin used to be called American Data Centers Inc. So basically, it’s like that one guy who changes his Instagram handle every week. 🙄

Don Jr. is out here sounding like he just read “Bitcoin for Dummies” cover-to-cover:

“From the start, we’ve backed our conviction in Bitcoin—personally and through our businesses. But simply buying Bitcoin is only half the story. Mining it on favorable economics opens an even bigger opportunity.”

(Translation: “Mom, we’re tech bros now.”)

And Eric Trump? He’s taking the helm as “chief strategy officer.” No word if the strategy includes selling commemorative mining helmets at the gift shop. 🪖

Meanwhile, Mike Ho will serve as executive chairman, and Matt Prusak as CEO. It’s a powerhouse team, or as Trump might say, “the best, the very best, believe me!” 🍔

Asher Genoot, Hut 8’s CEO, is describing this venture like it’s revolutionary:

“A pure-play mining platform built for exahash growth, Bitcoin production, and operating leverage.”

(Translation: It’s Bitcoin, but fancier.)

The cherry on top? Hut 8 is hosting a conference call on April 1st to discuss this launch. What better day to announce “the future of crypto mining” than the day dedicated to practical jokes? 🎉

Hut 8 assures us that American Bitcoin’s numbers will be consolidated within its financial reporting. Additionally, they’ll serve as the exclusive infrastructure and operations partner—which sounds like a fancy way of saying, “We’re babysitting the Bitcoin miners while they play golf.” 🏌️‍♂️

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2025-03-31 21:41