Pi Goes Viral?! 🤯 Telegram’s Wild Crypto Move!

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Right, so, apparently, Pi Network – yes, *that* Pi Network – has wormed its way into Telegram’s crypto wallet. This could, theoretically, give it access to a frankly ludicrous number of potential customers. We’re talking about Telegram CEO Pavel Durov, who, with a completely straight face, claims the messaging app has somehow accumulated over 1 billion monthly users by 2025. One *billion*. 🤔

Which, if you believe it, means Telegram users can now, at their own peril, buy PI through the app’s integrated crypto wallet. While this undoubtedly gives the token a bit of a visibility boost (like a tiny flag on a vast, featureless plain), Pi Network is still conspicuously absent from the likes of Binance and Coinbase. You know, the *big* exchanges. This, some might argue, doesn’t exactly scream “unquestionable legitimacy.”

Pi Network: Now with Added Telegram! (Batteries Not Included)

PI, in a move that surprised absolutely everyone (except maybe its creators), exploded onto the crypto scene, rocketing up nearly 100% in its first week and peaking at a dizzying $2.92 on February 27th. Then, reality gently tapped it on the shoulder, and the altcoin has been in a state of perpetual liquidation ever since. The big exchanges, those notoriously cautious gatekeepers, are still “scrutinizing” (read: running away screaming) which is delaying those all-important listings. And demand? Well, let’s just say it’s drier than a week-old sandwich left in the Sahara. 🏜️

However! Today’s Telegram integration, in a stunning display of optimism, provides… well, *something* for the PI community to cling to. A life raft made of hopes and dreams, perhaps.

Telegram Wallet

Integrating into Telegram’s crypto wallet is, allegedly, a particularly useful development for Pi Network. Apparently. Telegram’s CEO, Pavel Durov, resurfaced this month after a brief sojourn involving handcuffs (August 2024, if you must know). Having dusted himself off, he proceeded to unleash some truly impressive statistics about the platform’s user base:

“Telegram now has significantly over 1 billion monthly active users, becoming the second most popular messaging app in the world (excluding the China-specific WeChat.) User engagement is also rising, [and] our revenue growth has exploded. We are just getting started,” Durov claimed via Telegram. (Presumably while stroking a Persian cat and twirling his mustache.)

In other words, Pi Network can now, in theory, accost one billion Telegram users at a time when the average user spends 41 minutes *daily* on the platform. This could, potentially, be a colossal pool of new customers, and Pi enthusiasts are excitedly proclaiming it a “historic step toward mass adoption of decentralized finance.” (One shudders to think what they’d consider *actual* mass adoption.)

However, and it’s a big however, Telegram’s crypto functionality, while slowly gaining traction, remains stubbornly underutilized. Despite today’s earth-shattering announcement, the PI price has stubbornly remained over 25% down in the past week. This, rather depressingly, reflects a distinct lack of consumer enthusiasm for the project. 📉

Pi Network Price Chart

Major crypto exchanges like Binance and Coinbase may be giving Pi Network the cold shoulder, but Telegram does boast its own, undeniably substantial, user base. If the project manages to convince even a *fraction* of these users to throw their hard-earned (or, let’s be honest, probably meme-stock-earned) money at it, it could be… well, it would still be Pi Network, but with slightly more money. 💰

If, however, it fails to achieve this minor miracle, then Pi Network’s losing streak may continue for the foreseeable future. And the universe, as usual, will remain largely indifferent. 🤷

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2025-03-27 22:41