The Best Movie Every Year Since 1970

In the spirit of the fictional Hollywood studio from Robert Altman’s “The Player,” their motto encapsulated it perfectly: “Cinema, More Essential Than Ever!

Hey there! It’s incredible how effortless it has become to access fantastic films these days. Whether you’re in a cinema, catching them at home, or streaming them online, a world of cinematic masterpieces is just a click away – and with so many platforms like Netflix, Max, Hulu, Criterion, and more, the selection is broader than ever before. Yet, the sheer abundance can sometimes leave me overwhelmed when I’m looking for something to watch. I often find myself stuck in front of the TV, scrolling through options for what feels like an eternity, only to eventually call it a night without watching anything at all.

As a youngster, I spent my days in suburban New Jersey and relied on Roger Ebert’s “The Great Movies” or guides like “50,001 Movies You Must Watch Before Marauding Squirrels Attack” to help me decide what to watch. This list that follows may be helpful for those who struggle with choices like myself. It includes the top movie of each year (according to my opinion) from 1970 to the present, totaling more than 50 must-see classics. If you’re a streamer, most of these movies are readily available for rent or streaming at home now.

After that, uh, well, have you seen Citizen Kane? That’s pretty good too.

The Best Movie Every Year Since 1970

1970: Gimme Shelter

Even though “Gimme Shelter” was released in 1970, it provides an unparalleled depiction of the demise of the 1960s, as seen through the lens of this documentary about the Rolling Stones and their disastrous Altamont concert. The filmmakers Albert and David Maysles, along with Charlotte Zwerin, chronicled the Stones’ bizarre journey across America, also capturing them viewing the gruesome footage from Altamont—including the fatal stabbing of Meredith Hunter during the Stones’ performance. Moments of self-reflection in the film make “Gimme Shelter” an even more impactful and unsettling piece, elevating it among the greatest rock and roll movies ever created.

1971: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Only a handful of movies capture the essence of timeless childhood dreams – unending sweets, rivers of chocolate, and magical elevators – as effectively as “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. Although it’s not the briefest children’s film at 100 minutes, it races along like a dash; once the children arrive at Willy Wonka’s enchanted factory, there’s no stopping until Willy Wonka and Charlie break through the ceiling of the chocolate factory and live blissfully ever after. (Though some of the other children might not have such a rosy future, the film’s ominous humor stems from the suggestion that Willy may have met a gruesome end to some of them.)

1972: The Godfather

In the movie “The Godfather,” an embodiment of the American dream or perhaps its distorted version, the profound crime saga has left an indelible mark on the genre of Hollywood gangster films, reshaping the norms and elevating newcomers like Al Pacino, James Caan, John Cazale to prominence. Additionally, it catapulted Francis Ford Coppola into the league of significant filmmakers in his generation. The movie’s captivating performances, incisive screenplay, bold directorial decisions, and iconic music by Nino Rota have solidified its status as one of the most impactful films ever produced in Hollywood.

1973: F For Fake

Orson Welles’ last grand production is an emotional defense of charlatans and impostors, a biting critique toward so-called experts (the real deceivers in the art world), and most importantly, an ardent homage to the mind-blowing allure of Oja Kodar. In this documentary, Welles himself appears as he was the brain behind the infamous 1938 War of the Worlds radio broadcast that sent shivers down the spines of listeners. Despite the entire film being a fabrication crafted by Welles, there’s no falsehood in his role in this movie titled F For Fake.

1974: Blazing Saddles

1974 saw Mel Brooks boldly crafting the uproarious genre spoof, “Blazing Saddles,” a film that remains one of the funniest to this day. Cleavon Little stars as Bart, who finds himself unexpectedly appointed sheriff of a tiny Western hamlet, much to the dismay of its narrow-minded denizens. Alongside an unforgettable performance by Gene Wilder as an eccentric cowboy, they embark on a mission to save their town, break the fourth wall, and leave an indelible mark in cinema history with one of the most iconic flatulence gags ever conceived.

1975: Jaws

Jaws turned into an unprecedented box office sensation, alongside Star Wars, fundamentally changing the way films were produced and distributed in Hollywood. However, it’s worth noting that this success shouldn’t be used as a basis for criticism. Instead, it stands out as something much more profound, intense, gritty, and intelligent compared to the numerous imitations that came after it. In essence, Jaws is essentially the tragic tale of a group of heavy drinkers who hunt down and kill a shark for simply being excessively hungry.

Following this breakthrough, Steven Spielberg embarked on a career marked by more elaborate productions, larger budgets, star-studded casts, and advanced special effects. Yet, he has never managed to create something as flawless as Jaws. Each shot, edit, musical cue, line, and close-up of Roy Scheider’s fear-stricken face is perfectly executed in this film.

1976: Rocky

The common belief is that “Rocky” was an unexpected winner for Best Picture in 1976, competing against other masterpieces like “All the President’s Men,” “Network,” and “Taxi Driver.” However, it’s important to note that the original “Rocky” deserves its place among them. Don’t be fooled by the sequels into thinking it’s just a sports movie about rising from rags to riches; instead, “Rocky” is a profound exploration of a struggling character (and a loan-shark muscle!) who experiences an extraordinary opportunity. Sylvester Stallone delivers an exceptional performance as the gentle boxer, while Talia Shire portrays the timid Adrian, Burgess Meredith takes on the gruff Mickey, and Carl Weathers plays the arrogant Apollo Creed. The story may appear straightforward, but under John G. Avildsen’s direction, it is richly detailed with subtle elements that explain why this seemingly ordinary tale became one of the most cherished dramas of the 20th century.

1977: Star Wars

Even after 40 years, nothing compares to the originality and greatness of Star Wars. The interactions among characters, the thrilling spirit of exploration, and the breathtaking final Death Star chase remain unmatched (and many have attempted to replicate it, often by imitation). Although some effects may seem slightly outdated, Star Wars continues to be surprisingly relevant — more so than several subsequent sequels and prequels. Give it a watch with a couple of children, and you’ll see for yourself.

1978: Halloween

In the 1970s, John Carpenter’s groundbreaking horror film, “Halloween,” revolutionized the genre by defying conventional rules. This chilling story of a small Illinois town haunted by an insane man in a Captain Kirk mask left an indelible mark, giving rise to countless sequels and imitators. However, unlike many subsequent attempts, the original doesn’t attempt to rationalize Michael Myers’ killing spree or his seemingly supernatural powers. Instead, it scares us precisely because it leaves those aspects unexplained. Carpenter’s Michael is a terrifying, unstoppable mystery; embodying fear and uncertainty itself.

1979: Alien

Regardless of your fondness for the dramatic ‘Aliens’, you must acknowledge the excellence of Ridley Scott’s ‘Alien’. The film presents a gritty, believable portrayal of a future characterized by blue-collar laborers struggling under the rule of unseen corporate bosses who prioritize profits over their workers’ safety. This movie, as well as its promotional efforts, have left an indelible mark on cinema for over 40 years, influencing countless other filmmakers.

1980: The Empire Strikes Back

In the realm of Star Wars, while Star Wars showcases groundbreaking innovation, The Empire Strikes Back delivers intricate refinement and a shift towards darker undertones. Despite the fact that everyone is familiar with Empire’s major twist and Return of the Jedi’s resolution, it’s often easy to overlook just how startling this turn of events was initially. Very few blockbusters over the subsequent 45 years have had the audacity to attempt something as bleak as this.

1981: Blow Out

In a nod to the concept of “Blowup,” Brian De Palma’s acclaimed work delves into the cinematic realm. John Travolta plays a B-movie sound engineer who accidentally records a staged car crash with eerie similarities to the Chappaquiddick incident, involving then-Senator Ted Kennedy at the time. With its clever use of sound effects, tense sequences, and a sardonic take on film violence and its link to reality, “Blow Out” is one of the finest films ever crafted about the movie industry.

1982: The Thing

In the realm of frightening films, there’s John Carpenter’s The Thing, standing out not just for its terrifying monster effects that are among the most unsettling in cinema history, but also for using these gruesome images to tell a deeply troubling tale about fear and suspicion. Set against the backdrop of an isolated Antarctic research station, the story unfolds as the team is progressively dismantled by the arrival of a shapeshifting extraterrestrial. Trust becomes a luxury; perhaps the only reliable ally is your flamethrower.

1983: Videodrome

Discussing films that blend striking (and chilling) visuals with profound social criticism, let’s talk about the movie “Videodrome.” This film stars James Woods as a television executive who discovers an illegal broadcast titled “Videodrome,” characterized by extreme sexuality and violence. Fascinated, he decides to air it on his own station. As he delves deeper into uncovering the source of this mysterious program, he gets increasingly entangled in a realm where TV isn’t just entertainment—it’s a religion and potentially a reflection of existence itself. David Cronenberg’s “Videodrome” remains relevant as a penetrating critique of our culture that is overly influenced by television.

1984: Ghostbusters

1985: Ran

Among the many great films by legendary director Akira Kurosawa, “Ran” remains my top choice. Despite being released towards the end of his career and being a color film, unlike most of his other masterpieces, it’s this uniqueness that I find captivating. The brilliant use of color, particularly in the vibrant costumes of the characters, serves as an exceptional finishing touch to each cinematic scene, making it stand out.

1986: Blue Velvet

In the 1980s, movies had a knack for unveiling the unsavory truth beneath the polished facade of American society, didn’t they? David Lynch’s film, Blue Velvet, dismantled the idyllic picture of small-town America by revealing a hidden world of crime and depravity through the discovery of a severed ear. And let’s not forget about Pabst Blue Ribbon!

The 1980s had some awesome movies that showed us what was really going on in America beneath its peaceful surface, like Blue Velvet. David Lynch made a movie that uncovered a dark underworld by finding a severed ear, and there was also Pabst Blue Ribbon beer!)

1987: Full Metal Jacket

1987 saw some viewers expressing disappointment towards Full Metal Jacket due to Kubrick’s high status as a filmmaker, the seven-year gap since The Shining, and the recent triumph of Oliver Stone’s Platoon. However, with the passage of time, Full Metal Jacket has emerged as one of Kubrick’s most significant masterpieces, offering a profound portrayal of the horrors of war, both at home and abroad. This film boasts several of the most indelible acting performances of the 20th century, with Vincent D’Onofrio delivering a memorable turn as Pyle and Lee Ermey making his breakthrough in the role of the merciless drill sergeant Hartman.

1988: Die Hard

an ordinary guy who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and must use his skills to get home, reminiscent of his old cowboy hero Roy Rogers. The phrase “Yippie-ki-yay” is a signature line from the movie.

1989: Do the Right Thing

Spike Lee’s movie, set during a scorching summer day in Brooklyn, continues to resonate painfully today due to its depiction of racial tensions. The story revolves around a pizzeria located in the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood, where chaos erupts after a black man is fatally shot by police. Did Mookie, as portrayed by Spike Lee, make the correct decision when he threw a trash can through the pizzeria’s window? The mere asking of this question may reveal more than any straightforward response.

1990: Goodfellas

If you’re only going to watch one Martin Scorsese film, or one crime/gangster movie, throughout your lifetime, make it “Goodfellas.” This hysterical, tragic, violent, reflective tale chronicles the lives of New York mob associates during the latter half of the 20th century. From the spot-on casting to the music, editing, voiceover, and particularly the exceptional drug smuggling scene where Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) is finally caught – every decision is perfect. The reason “Goodfellas” has been continuously referenced and imitated for the past 30 years is because no other gangster filmmaker has managed to surpass its brilliance since then.

1991: Terminator 2: Judgment Day

After a span of seven years, Arnold Schwarzenegger fulfilled his commitment, returning in the iconic movie “Terminator 2: Judgment Day”. Director James Cameron crafted exhilarating action sequences and pioneered the use of CGI with the T-1000, the liquid metal Terminator. Moreover, he introduced one of the greatest female action heroes in Linda Hamilton’s portrayal of the hardened Sarah Connor. As a transformed robot discovering human ways, Schwarzenegger offers humor and poignancy. If his final thumbs up doesn’t provoke tears, you might be a future robot yourself.

1992: Hard Boiled

John Woo’s unique, dynamic filmmaking style peaked with the extravagant crime-thriller “Hard Boiled”. This action-packed police story revolves around two main characters: Chow Yun-Fat as a dedicated police inspector and Tony Leung as an undercover officer. Their mission is to dismantle a ruthless triad. The film is renowned for its breathtaking gunfights, including a remarkable single-take fight scene that unfolds across multiple floors of a hospital. This impressive feat was achieved by swiftly changing the same set to make it appear as different parts of the building.

1993: Groundhog Day

The arrogant meteorologist Phil Connors, played by Bill Murray, finds himself stuck in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania due to a snowstorm on Groundhog Day. He later realizes he’s trapped in a time loop, forced to live the same day repeatedly. Essentially, Groundhog Day is about a man who believes he’s a deity but ultimately transforms into one and eventually learns what it means to be human. This film carries a profound spiritual message that surpasses most explicitly religious movies I’ve ever encountered.

1994: Hoop Dreams

1995: Toy Story

The first Pixar film that truly captivated audiences is no longer as visually stunning as it was in 1995. In contrast to Pixar’s present-day productions, the advancements in digital animation are truly remarkable. Despite this, you can’t make a mistake in revisiting the early days of Woody and Buzz, or enjoying Randy Newman’s timeless music, or being spooked by the eerie sequences featuring Sid’s Frankenstein-esque toy creations.

1996: Fargo

Well, it’s quite obvious, isn’t it? The Coen brothers, those legendary filmmakers, deserved a spot on this type of list somewhere, don’t you agree? And what better movie to represent them than “Fargo,” a darkly humorous crime tale that only they could have created? Frances McDormand brilliantly portrays the pregnant police chief investigating the central murder. Every actor in the film delivers an impressive performance: Steve Buscemi, Peter Storemare, Steve Park, John Carroll Lynch, and particularly William H. Macy as a desperate used car salesman trying to wriggle out of trouble.

1997: Boogie Nights

Angels Live in My Town, a fake movie that only a director as talented as PTA could make so hilariously bad.

1998: The Truman Show

A film that explored our fascination with social media fame decades before it was widely recognized, “The Truman Show” now seems more than just a clever media critique; it appears to be a prophetic vision. This insightful prediction was skillfully presented by writer Andrew Niccol and director Peter Weir, and brought to life superbly by Jim Carrey, who stepped out of his typical comedic role to deliver this moving portrayal of a man grappling with the artifice of his reality TV existence.

1999: The Matrix

Those of us who attended the premiere of “The Matrix” in 1999 were not fully prepared for what we were about to witness. We expected an above-average science fiction action film based on the trailers, but instead, we received a groundbreaking transformation in Hollywood action, intertwined with a profound exploration of reality, technology, and identity. The year 1999 was particularly notable for its outstanding cinematic offerings; “The Sixth Sense”, “Toy Story 2”, “Magnolia”, “Fight Club”, “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut”, “Eyes Wide Shut”, and many others were released. However, none of these films can match the impact of “The Matrix” with its striking visuals, exhilarating action sequences, and a thought-provoking message about our world that will leave you pondering long into the night.

2000: Almost Famous

2001: Memento

Disregard “Memento” as a mere cinematic gimmick at your own risk. While it’s true that the film employs one of the most intricate and challenging structures in cinema, its complex narrative structure serves a greater purpose. The intertwined timelines and frequent flashbacks not only captivate viewers but also offer a glimpse into the fractured mind of the protagonist, Leonard Shelby (Guy Pearce), who suffers from a rare form of amnesia that prevents him from creating new memories. Despite his condition, Leonard is relentless in his pursuit of the man who raped and murdered his wife. The initial scenes suggest he has succeeded in his quest, only to later unravel the truth by rewinding through the preceding days. This innovative structure catapulted Christopher Nolan into prominence as an exciting new director, but there’s nothing glamorous about Leonard himself, who is ultimately portrayed as a tragic figure propelled by the most fundamental human desires: The need to believe that his life has meaning and purpose.

2002: Catch Me If You Can

In an unusual twist, “Catch Me If You Can” represents both one of Steven Spielberg’s most effortlessly entertaining films and his deepest examination of solitude and family ties. The exceptional cast is another highlight: Leonardo DiCaprio as the cunning Frank Abagnale Jr., Christopher Walken as his struggling father, Jennifer Garner and Amy Adams as two of Frank Jr.’s romances, and Tom Hanks as the relentless, humorless FBI agent Carl Hanratty. Moreover, it serves as a surprisingly excellent Christmas movie and was the standout film of 2002.

2003: Los Angeles Plays Itself

In my friend Rumsey Taylor’s words, “You won’t find a better movie review than this: ‘The Best Movie Review Ever.'” This three-hour journey delves into the history of films and Los Angeles, demonstrating how the City of Angels has been portrayed on screen since the inception of cinema. It also shows how these depictions have influenced the city’s self-perception. Remarkably, this masterpiece was produced and released before YouTube even existed, making it the greatest video essay ever made online. Apart from being a significant piece of film criticism, Los Angeles Plays Itself is an engaging film in its own right.

2004: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

The 2000s were an exceptional time for indie romances with a somber or tragic undertone, and none surpassed or displayed more creativity than “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” directed by Michel Gondry. This film revolves around a couple who split up and opt for an experimental medical treatment to erase each other from their memories. However, only one of them, Joel (played brilliantly by Jim Carrey), realizes during the process that he’s made a mistake. This allows us to witness in real-time the devastating elimination of his memories about Clementine (Kate Winslet) from his mind. “Eternal Sunshine” excels at what great science fiction films do: It poses one of those timeless existential questions – in this instance, if you could remove a painful memory from your consciousness, would you? And if you did, would you be improved as a result? – and employs fictional technology to delve into that concept deeply. In this particular case, the exploration is literal.

2005: Brokeback Mountain

Although Brokeback Mountain didn’t win the Best Picture Award for 2005, it was ultimately time that revealed its true significance. Given the central role of time in Brokeback Mountain’s emotional resonance, this seems fitting. The movie tells the heart-wrenching story of two cowboys, portrayed by Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger, who lived through the 1960s, ’70s, and ’80s and were forced to hide their love due to societal norms. As time goes on, it serves to keep them apart. Rather than just a “gay cowboy movie” as some critics labeled it initially, Brokeback Mountain is a timeless tale of loss, yearning, and the powerful forces that drive people apart.

2006: The Prestige

Despite not winning the Best Picture Award for 2005 against Crash, Brokeback Mountain has proven to tell a different tale over time. It’s quite fitting considering the significance of time in the film’s poignant narrative about two cowboys, portrayed by Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger, who had to conceal their love due to societal norms during the 1960s, ’70s, and ’80s. As time progresses, it serves as a relentless barrier keeping them apart. Often labeled as merely a “gay cowboy movie” initially, Brokeback Mountain transcends this classification to become a timeless story of grief, desire, and the various factors that drive people apart in the world.

2007: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

2007 was a fantastic year for cinema, boasting masterpieces such as There Will Be Blood and Zodiac. However, it’s Julian Schnabel’s film The Diving Bell & The Butterfly that left an indelible mark on me. Based on Jean-Dominique Bauby’s memoir about living with locked-in syndrome, this movie resonated deeply within me, imparting a powerful message about cherishing life. It was so impactful that I left the theater and made an instant decision to propose to my girlfriend – a decision that led to our 13-year journey together, filled with love and two beautiful children. Looking back, I can’t help but feel grateful for that cinematic experience and its influence on my life.

2008: The Dark Knight

In a move that could only be conceived by someone as unconventional as a Batman villain, one might think it absurd for anyone to step into Jack Nicholson’s iconic shoes as the Joker. Yet, director Christopher Nolan dared to do so, and Heath Ledger’s portrayal in “The Dark Knight” became timeless. Among the numerous Batman films, this particular one stands out, offering edge-of-your-seat action, stunning IMAX cinematography, and thought-provoking reflections on heroism and villainy. While other directors seemed constrained by the conventions of superhero cinema, Nolan found inspiration in them. He delved into the archetypes and traditions, using them as a canvas to paint his own themes such as vengeance’s true nature, the fine line between heroism and totalitarianism, and the lengths people will go to validate their existence, even if only to themselves.

2009: Fantastic Mr. Fox

There are numerous reasons to appreciate Wes Anderson’s film, “Fantastic Mr. Fox.” I find its unique character appealing, and it stands out from conventional animated movies, even those in stop-motion. It always makes me laugh when they do a close-up of Kylie with the black and white swirls in his eyes – it’s a mystery why, but it does. Comedy has an inherent rule: When opossums have swirly eyes, they are funny, and “Fantastic Mr. Fox” adheres to this rule as well.

2010: The Social Network

The controversy over how accurately David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin depicted Facebook’s origins might persist, but there’s no denying their skillful portrayal of a particular kind of man, embodied by Jesse Eisenberg as Mark Zuckerberg: Intelligent, resentful, self-important, and yearning for love and validation. (Fincher’s choice to make a movie about Facebook in 2010 may have puzzled many at the time, but now it’s clear that it was his spiritual successor to Fight Club, another tale of a disgruntled, isolated man who discovers that unleashing his wrath on society brings unforeseen consequences.) The crux of this film lies in the casting of Justin Timberlake, a real-life music star, as Sean Parker, Facebook’s co-founder and early executive, who serves as Zuckerberg’s alter ego, much like Tyler Durden. With their similar appearances (including the curly hair), they could almost be brothers – if one had struck it rich with DNA luck and the other had drawn a bad roll. That’s who Mark aspires to be, and he’s nearly there.

2011: Take Shelter

Speaking from personal experience dealing with numerous panic attacks, I wholeheartedly endorse “Take Shelter” as one of the most impactful films about living with anxiety ever created. The character Curtis LaForche, played brilliantly by Michael Shannon, is a family man who experiences disturbing dreams of catastrophic storms and an uneasy feeling that disaster is imminent. Supported by exceptional performances from Shannon and Jessica Chastain as his wife, “Take Shelter” authentically portrays the devastating cycle of fear. Curtis fears he may be on the brink of a breakdown, as mental illness runs in his family, which only exacerbates his anxiety, causing him even more distress. Some might view the film’s conclusion as ambiguous; I see it as inevitable because it reflects the reality that this type of anxiety cannot be vanquished but can be comprehended and, with the help of friends and loved ones, managed effectively.

2012: The Master

2012 saw many discussions revolving around Paul Thomas Anderson’s acclaimed film, The Master, focusing on its striking resemblances to L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology’s origins. Some critics and viewers found the movie’s underlying message hard to decipher. Is Lancaster Dodd, portrayed by Philip Seymour Hoffman, a genuine spiritual guide or a fraud inventing his teachings as he goes? What draws him to Freddie Quell, whose primitive instincts contradict the core principles of Dodd’s beliefs? Upon a recent rewatch, I was struck by how The Master seems as much about a twisted romance as Anderson’s Phantom Thread. Mostly, it left me pondering the heartrending tale of a man who claims to wipe away past life traumas, yet fails to help his most devoted disciple cope with the pain he endures in this very life.

2013: Inside Llewyn Davis

As a cinephile, I’d say every film made by the Coen brothers can be likened to a harmonious duet. “Inside Llewyn Davis,” in my opinion, is their ode to duets. Previously, I’ve delved deep into its essence, and it’s more than just a snapshot of New York’s folk scene in the early ’60s. It’s a poignant depiction of a succession of small tragedies that beset a talented musician (Oscar Isaac, who truly shone in this role) following the demise of his companion. Interestingly, it seems almost symbolic that Llewyn’s best song is “Fare Thee Well.” And when played by a single performer, it just doesn’t carry the same resonance.

2014: Boyhood

In the hidden corners of a dozen years, Richard Linklater, along with a small group of collaborators, filmed moments from the lives of a young boy (Ellar Coltrane), his mother (Patricia Arquette), and his sister (Lorelei Linklater). Some may view this film as merely an autobiographical experiment by Linklater, but it proved to be a fascinating snapshot – or more accurately, a collection of snapshots – into American life throughout the early 21st century. This tale of love, hardship, and sacrifice within one family offers a unique perspective on the passage of time. As the actors grow older in front of our eyes, certain scenes gain an extra layer of sweetness, while others resonate with deeper poignancy. When Arquette delivers her closing monologue about her life, she draws upon a wealth of real-life experiences spanning over a decade. The late Roger Ebert once said that movies are like windows into our spatial and temporal box. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a movie that opens those windows as wide as Boyhood.

2015: Mad Max: Fury Road

I wholeheartedly believe that “Mad Max: Fury Road” stands as one of the most remarkable car chase movies of this century, if not all time. However, what truly sets it apart is its deeply spiritual and even Biblical narrative. In essence, it’s a modern-day exodus from the ruined cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, a quest for a new Eden led by the inspiring Imperator Furiosa, played brilliantly by Charlize Theron. This journey through the barren wasteland is guided by a man as mad as Moses, portrayed by Tom Hardy in a mumbly yet captivating Max Rockatansky. George Miller’s masterful chaos serves as a testament to the fact that action movies can not only be pulse-pounding but also thought-provoking. If anyone tries to persuade you otherwise, meet their gaze firmly and respond, “That’s bait.

2016: O.J.: Made in America

In response to a 467-minute documentary winning the Best Documentary Feature Oscar in 2016, the Academy Awards altered their rules, preventing multi-part or limited series films from being eligible in the future. However, Ezra Edelman’s examination of O.J. Simpson’s life and times premiered and was shown in theaters, providing an immersive experience that I experienced during a full-day showing. This exhaustive chronicle of the most famous trial of the 20th century remains best viewed in this format. “O.J.: Made in America” is not just a comprehensive film about O.J. Simpson; it may also serve as a definitive portrayal of the America that produced him, cherished him, and was deeply polarized by his murder trial.

2017: Lady Bird

Greta Gerwig’s film “Lady Bird” is structured around various pairs: The main character goes by two names. Throughout the movie, she has two romantic interests, and two close friends. The plot unfolds over the span of two school terms, each marked by its own stage production. There are two dances and two parties. The relationships with her parents, her social life, and her religious affiliations also come in pairs: two sets of parental dynamics, two places of worship, and two colleges she’s considering applying to. With all these options, “Lady Bird” becomes a deeply moving movie about choices – choices that at Lady Bird’s age seem like life-altering decisions. In many respects, they are.

2018: The Favourite

In terms of richness and satisfaction, “The Favourite” is as indulgent as a luxurious slice of cake. This movie portrays an intense power struggle among the women who governed England in the early 18th century: the witty Lady Sarah (Rachel Weisz), the cunning Abigail (Emma Stone), and the humorous yet pitiful Queen Anne, played by Olivia Colman. Contrary to its appearance as a typical Awards Season Costume Drama, “The Favourite” was far from generic Oscar bait, even though Colman won the Best Actress award in 2018. The film delves into themes of sexuality, gender roles, and politics, while also being one of the most subtly quotable movies of the decade. Despite a character’s remark that favor is “a breeze that constantly changes direction,” I have a strong feeling that “The Favourite” will continue to be one of my favorites for a long time.

2019: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

In the Musso & Frank Grill, actors Rick Dalton and Cliff Booth encounter producer Marvin Schwarz. Marvin proposes that Rick star in Italian Westerns, but Rick is disheartened by this offer, feeling as if his career is coming to an end. Upon exiting the restaurant, a crestfallen Rick breaks down in tears, with the Musso & Frank Grill sign towering overhead, reminding him of its status as Hollywood’s oldest establishment. Despite having a few good years left, Rick feels he is nearing the end of his time in show business. “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” is an exceptional film, boasting clever details like this one.

2020: Da 5 Bloods

Spike Lee produced not just one but two movies in 2020; the other being David Byrne’s concert film, “American Utopia.” While “Da 5 Bloods” premiered on Netflix amidst global protests following George Floyd’s death, it is important to note that Lee isn’t a fortune teller. Instead, he’s an astute chronicler of American history and the lingering effects of racism in our society, themes deeply rooted in this remarkable film. A group of African American veterans revisit Vietnam many years after the war, seeking a buried treasure of stolen gold. They then grapple with America’s past in that region. Delroy Lindo delivers an extraordinary performance as Paul, a character struggling with PTSD, and Lee’s most daring editing and music choices (that impactful Marvin Gaye a cappella moment!) make “Da 5 Bloods” the must-watch movie of 2020.

2021: Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo have returned with their highly anticipated sequel to ‘Bridesmaids’ in the hilarious film, ‘Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar’. In this production, they write, star, and play as two friends living a quiet life in Soft Rock, Nebraska, who lose their jobs at Jennifer Convertibles. With no other options, they decide to splurge their severance on a luxurious trip to Florida. Here, they find themselves smitten with an intriguing stranger (Jamie Dornan) who is part of a plan to ruin the town using genetically-modified killer mosquitoes (yes, that classic trope). Wiig and Mumolo deliver outstanding performances, humorously exploring themes such as Tommy Bahama clothing and the enchantment of the name Trish. The script is filled with memorable quotes, offering light in even the bleakest times. In these trying moments, ‘Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar’ has appeared like a pair of sequined culottes, shining brightly as a guide leading us out of the darkness.

2022: The Fabelmans

One captivating aspect of “The Fabelmans” is that, even after seven decades from the real-life incidents depicted in its opening scene, it’s clear that Steven Spielberg still harbors the same passion for cinema as young Sammy Fabelman, who was mesmerized by “The Greatest Show on Earth” and later became fixated on replicating the images he saw at home. Throughout his career, Spielberg has mastered the art of using visuals and sound to evoke emotions such as joy, empathy, fear, and comprehension in audiences. Yet, he has never forgotten the essence of why he makes movies.

2023: Killers of the Flower Moon

2024: Nickel Boys

As a cinephile, I’ve been fortunate to witness a plethora of excellent films, some even great. Yet, it’s rare to come across a movie that feels fresh, a film that redefines the medium itself. But then, unexpectedly, a gem like “Nickel Boys” appears. This isn’t just original; it’s daring, innovative, and uniquely thought-provoking – or in this case, dual-perspective provoking.

Co-screenwriter and director RaMell Ross took an audacious step by almost entirely shooting his adaptation of Colson Whitehead’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel through the perspective of its primary characters, using point-of-view shots. Together with cinematographer Jomo Fray, they crafted remarkable POV camerawork that immerses viewers into the minds and experiences of two young men navigating a Florida reform school in the 1960s. Misused, this technique could become a distracting trick. However, under Ross’ masterful guidance, it feels like we’ve peered into a world anew, perhaps even glimpsed the future of cinema.

The Worst Movie Every Year Since 1970

1970: The Party at Kitty and Stud’s

Before achieving success with the iconic “Rocky”, Sylvester Stallone faced hardships, including temporary homelessness. To make ends meet, he took on various acting roles, even one in a softcore film titled “The Party at Kitty and Stud’s“, which revolved around the sexual escapades of a New York City couple. (You guessed it, Stallone played “Stud”.) The movie was so poorly made and unsexy that it went largely unnoticed by audiences — until Stallone skyrocketed to stardom. At this point, the film’s owners renamed it “Italian Stallion ” and re-released it, attempting to capitalize on Sly’s fame by promising a glimpse into Rocky’s, well, studliness. Stallone himself has described the movie as “horrendous”, and his assessment seems generous.

1971: Octaman

1972: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

In a less than convincing costume, a skinny man with a wig, beard, and padded suit that wouldn’t pass inspection at the worst mall in America plays Santa Claus in this budget-restricted film. The movie compensates for its weak plot by incorporating scenes from an older film directed by the same person. In these new sequences, Santa’s sleigh gets stuck in Florida sand just before Christmas, causing him to doze off and mentally summon a group of local children to assist him. (However, it’s unclear if he calls them to help or merely asks for assistance.)

This Santa may possess mental powers, but he’s also a bit sluggish and self-centered. He spends the entire movie lounging on the beach while these unfortunate children are burdened with finding animals (including a horse, cow, and a man in a gorilla suit) to try to pull Santa’s stuck sleigh free. To delay matters, Santa pretends to impart wisdom upon the kids by sharing the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. Navigating through this pre-Christmas horror show may prove challenging indeed.

1973: 3 Dev Adam

For Marvel enthusiasts: If you believed “Eternals” was disappointing, wait till you see “3 Dev Adam”. This unauthorized Turkish superhero thriller features characters resembling “Captain America”, a questionable likeness of “Spider-Man” (I’m guessing that’s him!), and the renowned Mexican wrestler-turned-actor El Santo. The film strays so far from the Marvel brand that Spider-Man himself is the movie’s antagonist, a power-hungry criminal plotting to control the Turkish underworld. It falls upon Captain America and Santo to thwart his plans.

As this image of a man in a cheap Halloween Spiderman suit (and it appears he has it on backwards) suggests, Marvel had no involvement in this film’s creation. (Nor did the real Santo, despite his frequent encounters with zombies, vampires, and other supernatural foes in Mexican cinema.) Remarkably, the movie still managed to become a hit in Turkey. When “3 Dev Adam” Spider-Man makes an appearance in the “Spider-Verse”, we’ll know that franchise has reached its peak absurdity.

1974: The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat

The initial “Fritz the Cat” film wasn’t particularly impressive, but it did boast Ralph Bakshi’s animation and a dark sense of humor. However, Bakshi had no involvement in the sequel, nor did R. Crumb, who created the Fritz the Cat comic series. This is evident in this aimless, unamusing movie. It’s worth mentioning as the first animated film to ever receive an R rating, but being notable doesn’t automatically make it good.

1975: Mitchell

Hey Mitch!

1976: Snuff

The movie titled “Snuff” was not a genuine snuff film, but it was advertised as such to generate publicity at a low cost. Amazingly, this tactic worked; the film became popular in grindhouses nationwide. In certain locations, its controversial nature drew protests and even investigations due to the illegality of creating a real snuff film. However, it’s important to note that “Snuff” was just a piece of exploitative fiction. Yet, the fact remains that someone intentionally promoted their movie as an authentic portrayal of murder. One can hardly imagine the outrage such marketing would provoke today.

1977: The Van

1978: The Star Wars Holiday Special

Fans who aren’t deeply invested in “Star Wars” often criticize “The Rise of Skywalker,” but it seems like “The Empire Strikes Back” in comparison to the infamous “Star Wars Holiday Special.” This notorious CBS TV movie, produced during the gap between the original “Star Wars” release and the start of “The Empire Strikes Back,” is a painful 100 minutes filled with cheesy singing and dancing, unfunny low-brow humor, bizarre guest stars (Art Carney? Bea Arthur?!?), and one reasonably decent cartoon featuring Boba Fett’s first appearance. Its reputation as a disaster might be understated; it could potentially be even worse. Despite never officially being released on home video, its infamy has grown over the years to become a well-known part of pop culture. If you compare something to “The Star Wars Holiday Special,” it’s not just bad – it’s an unmitigated embarrassment.

1979: Captain America

Discussing some major faux pas in fashion: Notice the outfit of Captain America in his 1970s film. This movie deviated from Captain America’s traditional origin story, where his father served in World War II and earned the nickname “Captain America”. In this adaptation, after Steve Rogers is close to death, he becomes a subject for a serum that grants him extraordinary strength. He also receives an unimpressive (to put it mildly) motorcycle with a windshield reminiscent of his famous shield. Despite being rather ridiculous, the film managed to be successful enough to warrant a similarly subpar sequel, albeit one with a catchy Captain America II: Death Too Soon.

1980: The Jazz Singer

In a fresh take on an iconic early cinema landmark, Neil Diamond, renowned for his exceptional musical abilities, takes on a role that not everyone agrees with regarding acting talent. Here, he portrays a 40-year-old man who is obsessed with earning his father’s approval. Interestingly, Laurence Olivier assumes the part of an elderly Jewish cantor in this production. Age might be a concern as Diamond seems to be about 15 years older than his character should be, but such issues as miscasting the main roles seem insignificant compared to the catchy tunes like “Love on the Rocks” and “America”.

1981: Neighbors

John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd were popular together on Saturday Night Live and The Blues Brothers, but they made a disastrous misstep with the 1981 film. Swapping their usual roles so that Belushi became the square character and Aykroyd was the wild party animal was already a confusing base for a story filled with bizarre characters who never acted like real people for even a second. Adding to the numerous strange creative decisions, the score (composed by Bill Conti, known for creating beautiful music for other films) might be the most terrible I have ever heard in my life. It’s saturated with slide whistles and theremins that accentuate every joke, making it seem as if a poorly-skilled marching band is improvising to the action on screen. This is hard to believe. Watching this movie feels like seeing a film while the worst marching band in existence plays an impromptu performance based on what’s happening onscreen.

1982: Slapstick of Another Kind

Pause your current tasks and take a look at this movie’s Wikipedia page. You might think it’s been defaced with an absurd plot summary, but quite the contrary; if anything, the Wiki description understates the absurdity and depravity. Indeed, there are aliens in the story, one of whom is voiced by Orson Welles. Additionally, a miniature Chinese ambassador is featured, portrayed by Pat Morita with an amusing, altered voice. Jerry Lewis and Madeline Kahn play a married couple who also portray their own twin children – these twins wear prosthetic noses, ears, and foreheads while speaking in strange, unintelligible language. Notably, the twins possess telepathic powers and can only use them by touching each other, which the film develops into an incestuous subplot. In short, this is a remarkable work of cinema!

1983: Smokey and the Bandit III

In simpler terms, the third installment of “Smokey and the Bandit” seems to have been deliberately poorly made if the intention was to damage the series, much like how Bialystock and Bloom operate. The main character, Burt Reynolds’ Bandit, is barely present, making a brief cameo only. Instead, they chose to transform the detestable Sheriff Buford T. Justice into the protagonist, which seems counterproductive.

To replace the Bandit, they decided Jerry Reed’s character, Snowman, should step in. This includes driving the car, wearing his clothes, hat, and sunglasses, and mimicking Reynolds’ behavior and speech. However, it’s unclear why this is necessary for him to help Big and Little Enos win a bet against Justice. Perhaps it’s because the Bandit irritates Justice so much that seeing him would throw him off? But wouldn’t it make more sense for Jerry Reed to play the Snowman and just annoy Justice in his own way? After all, it’s “Smokey and the Bandit,” not “Smokey and the Snowman.

1984: Bolero

As a movie enthusiast, I’d rephrase that as follows:

In “Bolero,” I find myself following the journey of an incredibly innocent young woman who struggles to find her first lover, despite her striking resemblance to Bo Derek and her vast wealth. She embarks on a global adventure, encountering various romantic archetypes – an oil tycoon, a matador – in search of Mr. Right. However, this storyline feels more fitting for an adult film genre, but it sadly lacks the quality even of good erotica. It might have been amusing as a satirical comedy featuring actresses like Kristen Wiig. Regrettably, Bo Derek stars in this film, lacking any self-deprecating humor, and the movie portrays her peculiar quest to lose her virginity as a valiant heroic endeavor. (Eventually, she finds her match, only for his penis to be injured by a bull, requiring her to find a solution to fix it. This is not a jest; this is the plotline of the movie.)

1985: Red Sonja

If you’re curious about why Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn’t starred in a swords-and-sandals movie for 40 years, watching “Red Sonja” might provide the answer. Essentially a female version of “Conan”, this film stars Brigitte Nielsen as the title character, a warrior embarking on a quest in an ancient fantasy realm. Interestingly enough, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a character similar to Conan alongside her. In his own words, Arnold has referred to “Red Sonja” as “the worst movie I have ever made.” And let’s not forget that he also starred in “Hercules in New York”.

1986: Shanghai Surprise

Movies with a bad reputation sometimes don’t deserve it. For instance, John Carter may have had poor box-office sales and negative reviews, but it’s more engaging than you might think. Conversely, the infamous film Shanghai Surprise truly lives up to its notoriety. Starring Sean Penn and Madonna, this movie features a tie salesman who glows in the dark and a missionary who join forces for an opium heist. The only thing remarkable about it might be the opportunity to witness Penn and Madonna during their brief marriage. Their relationship outlived the film, but the movie itself couldn’t escape its status as one of the most dull productions of that decade.

1987: Leonard Part 6

In his prime as a Hollywood star, Bill Cosby featured in this dismally unfunny spy spoof titled “Leonard Part 6”. The film revolves around a former CIA agent who is coaxed back into service to thwart a vegetarian who controls brainwashed animals to carry out murders. The title itself is a joke, suggesting it’s the sixth installment of a popular series; however, like all the other humor in this cinematic disaster, it falls flat. Despite Cosby being the producer and originator of the idea, he criticized “Leonard Part 6” before its release in the press. Given the final product, his criticism was well-deserved. The movie is a confusing mix of Bond film parody and childish comedy, with some of the most blatant product placements in contemporary cinema history. It’s not just the worst film of 1987; it outdoes the worst films of many other years too.

Bill Cosby starred in a terrible spy spoof called “Leonard Part 6”. The movie is confusing because it tries to be funny but fails, and it’s full of bad product placement. Despite being the producer, Cosby criticized the film before its release, and he was right to do so. It’s one of the worst films ever made, not just in 1987, but in many other years too.

1988: Mac and Me

In the 1980s, the popularity of the movie “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial” sparked a desire among many to cash in on the profitable alien-on-earth narrative trend. This included McDonald’s, who jumped on board with a cheesy E.T.-inspired film featuring another lovable creature and his human companion. Notably, the title of this movie subtly referenced the fast-food chain’s iconic symbol. A notorious scene in the movie even featured an extended dance routine set in a McDonald’s restaurant. While this sequence was cringeworthy, it did provide comedian Paul Rudd with the opportunity to prank Conan O’Brien for many years.

1989: She’s Out of Control

In an inappropriate and humorous film titled, “A Challenging Comedy,” a single father (Tony Danza) experiences distress when his eldest daughter reaches 15 and begins showing interest in boys. However, it’s not as if she plunges into dangerous behaviors like drug abuse or the adult entertainment industry; instead, she gets contact lenses, a new hairstyle, and goes on a few dates. The father (Tony Danza) then consults a therapist (Wallace Shawn), who has authored a book emphasizing that fathers should act as guardians of their daughters’ virginity. The movie appears to condone Danza’s irrational actions when the daughter’s prom date (Matthew Perry) attempts to harm her. No one, either parent or otherwise, should watch this problematic film.

1990: The Bonfire of the Vanities

In this film by Brian De Palma, titled “The Bonfire of the Vanities“, an abundance of intricate camerawork isn’t enough to overcome one of the most questionable castings in ’90s cinema. Each of the main actors seem miscast for their roles: Tom Hanks fails to convincingly portray a blue blood, Melanie Griffith offers little as his mistress, and Bruce Willis appears too self-assured and detached to depict the despair of his alcoholic journalist character effectively. If one lead performance is off, a movie can still recover; however, when all three performances are completely wrong for their roles, the result is an undeniable flop.

1991: Nothing But Trouble

One unexpected yet fitting aspect of this film is that it was partially inspired by Dan Aykroyd’s nightmares. Few movies capture such a genuinely unsettling, dreamlike quality like this one does, from its gruesome violence to the actors in eerie prosthetic makeup, the sudden Digital Underground musical number, and the advanced technology powering the complex maze of an ancient judge’s house. As a child, I’m not sure if I managed to watch the whole movie, but even brief glimpses of Chevy Chase tumbling into heaps of human bones or Aykroyd as a massive diapered baby were enough to give me nightmares. In my opinion, this film ranks among the most unsettling Hollywood productions I’ve ever encountered.

1992: Frozen Assets

Despite the other comedies on the list being rather mediocre, they’re akin to the classic “Blazing Saddles” in comparison to the abysmal “Frozen Assets.” This film seems to have been created as a challenge to produce the least funny movie ever. Corbin Bernsen stars as a bank executive tasked with revitalizing a struggling branch in Oregon, but this isn’t your typical bank. Oh no! It’s a sperm bank! (A single joke in the entire movie.) Bernsen’s character is solely focused on making the sperm bank profitable, which puts him at odds with the bank’s chief scientist, portrayed by Shelley Long. He treats her abominably, yet she develops feelings for him. Larry Miller also appears in a significant role as an escaped mental patient who finds work at the sperm bank. I may be understating its awfulness, but trust me: “Frozen Assets” is even worse than I’ve described. At all costs, avoid this movie. I’d gladly pay to skip watching it again.

1993: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

Instead of focusing on Jason Voorhees, the psychopath in a hockey mask who delights in slaughtering promiscuous campers, the movie Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday presents an innovative twist where Jason transforms into a parasitic worm that takes control of people and turns them into ruthless killers. While the Friday the 13th franchise was never known for its clarity, this film introduces a plethora of new background information and rules concerning mystical daggers and previously unacknowledged Jason relatives (apparently, no one could eliminate Jason before due to the absence of a mystical dagger that the writers hadn’t conceived yet!). To add to my nitpicking, one might wonder why a movie named Jason Goes to Hell fails to depict Jason actually venturing to hell. In reality, he only visits a house, a diner, a jail, and a coroner’s office. The title can only be interpreted as a succinct critique of the film’s quality.

1994: It’s Pat

The television series “Saturday Night Live” produced several disappointing spinoff films in the ’90s, but none as bad as “It’s Pat,” which revolved around Julia Sweeney’s character, Pat, an awkward and androgynous individual. Similar to her TV sketches, the audience is left wondering if Pat is male or female, with the film’s neighbor Kyle (Charles Rocket) being particularly curious. The movie portrays Kyle’s fixation on Pat’s true identity as inappropriate and offensive, a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with. However, one must ponder why the creators chose to build an entire comedy around this topic? Regardless of gender, Pat is a poor choice for a film protagonist due to reasons unrelated to their identity. Pat is self-absorbed, irritating, unfunny, and shockingly cruel. One storyline follows Pat as they steal a friend’s job as the host of a radio show similar to “Loveline,” mock the friend about losing her job, then belittle all callers for being dull. The film is an unpleasant journey from start to finish.

1995: The Jerky Boys Movie

1996: Mad Dog Time

In simpler terms, the movie “Mad Dog Time” isn’t the worst film ever made, but it’s up there. However, I struggle to think of a more peculiar badly-made movie. This unusual flick stars an impressive ensemble (Jeff Goldblum, Gabriel Byrne, Ellen Barkin, Richard Dreyfuss, Diane Lane, Gregory Hines, Burt Reynolds, Rob Reiner, Kyle MacLachlan, and others) in a gangster story that takes place in another universe, as suggested by the opening narration. This world, called Vic’s World, is located beyond our cosmos in deep space and is inhabited entirely by stereotypical characters from gangster movies who engage in duels in a run-down basement. Believe me, it doesn’t make sense even within the context of the movie. It’s so strange that it could almost have been created in a parallel universe where people enjoy movies that are nearly unwatchable.

1997: Chairman of the Board

In this review, the author expresses that one doesn’t anticipate much from a film starring stand-up comedian Carrot Top, and indeed, they receive even less than expected from the movie titled “Chairman of the Board“. The story follows an unfortunate inventor who becomes friends with a wealthy businessman (Jack Warden), who later passes away and leaves him his company. Although comedy is theoretically present, it fails to materialize. However, this film did provide one memorable moment in late-night television, as Norm Macdonald frequently interrupted an interview of “Chairman of the Board” co-star Courtney Thorne-Smith with Conan O’Brien to discuss the possibility of a Carrot Top movie. His suggestion? (“If it’s got Carrot Top in it, you know what a good name for it would be? Box Office Poison!”)

1998: The Avengers

In an effort to clarify, it’s important to point out that the movie being discussed is “The Avengers” from 1998. This film is based on the original British spy series, which came before the Marvel comics with the same name. Contrary to its title, the heroes in this film, portrayed by Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman, don’t perform any avenging actions. The title might seem confusing since the movie’s events often lack coherence, but perhaps it fits given the overall disjointed nature of the plot.

This version of “The Avengers” is quite brief, running for approximately 90 minutes. It appears that significant parts of the story are missing as one scene transitions abruptly to another in a completely different setting, without any explanation about how Fiennes and Thurman got there. The movie includes all its action-packed special effects, but it lacks the narrative elements that would usually connect these scenes and serve various purposes such as character development, motivation, and adding a touch of humanity amidst the overwhelming visual effects. Essentially, “The Avengers” seems to be a condensed, abridged version of itself.

1999: Inspector Gadget

Among the beloved animated TV shows from the 1980s, one that transformed into a frustrating movie hit in the 1990s deserves mention. The main issue lies with casting: Matthew Broderick, though charming and amusing, lacks the boisterous, clumsy vibe required for Inspector Gadget. Similarly, Rupert Everett seems miscast as the sinister Dr. Claw. The visual effects are overly cartoonish compared to the original Inspector Gadget cartoon, and the final movie, which appears to have been hastily edited by anxious studio executives, barely lasts 70 minutes before credits roll. Incredibly, it’s still too lengthy.

2000: Battlefield Earth

Occasionally, a film arrives under such heavy negative hype that it fails to receive a fair chance from both audiences and critics. The movie “Battlefield Earth,” for instance, lived up entirely to the poor reviews it received before its release. It was a chaotic blend of unappealing makeup, weak acting, and cringe-worthy dialogue. Attempting to read any quote from this film without laughing is nearly impossible! A screenwriter involved in the creation of “Battlefield Earth” even apologized for it later, stating, “Comparing it to a train wreck isn’t really fair to train wrecks, because people actually want to watch those.

2001: Planet of the Apes

In this film, Mark Wahlberg plays the main role, portraying a dismal astronaut who is drawn into a violet cosmic cloud and ends up on a world inhabited by apes. After spending several hours wandering through the desert and engaging in poorly executed fight scenes, Wahlberg eventually returns to Earth, but finds that it has been changed into an ape-populated planet! Despite Tim Burton’s impressive history as a Hollywood director during the 1980s and ’90s, he made a significant misstep with this project.

2002: The Master of Disguise

The concept of “The Master of Disguise” makes sense as it features a character who can imitate others and take on different personas, which suits Dana Carvey well given his exceptional mimicry skills from Saturday Night Live. However, Carvey is more of an impressionist than a master of disguise, as the latter involves completely merging into roles to become invisible, which is opposite of what he does in this movie.

You would have to be quite naive not to identify Carvey’s character, Pistachio Disguisey, when he appears at a party disguised as Al Pacino from “Scarface” or Robert Shaw from “Jaws.” Some scenes are more horrifying than comedic, like the one where Carvey transforms into some sort of turtle man. Despite being brief at just 70 minutes long (excluding credits), “The Master of Disguise” is still a tough watch – it’s lengthy, strange, uncomfortable, and simply not funny.

2003: Bulletproof Monk

A tale from the past: Exactly 20 years ago, I watched this film all by myself in the entire theater. It seemed everyone else made a wise choice; by the end, I was so bored that I began exploring different seats in the auditorium, hoping to find the perfect view of the screen. Regardless of where I sat, the movie remained dull. In retrospect, Bulletproof Monk might just be this century’s least impressive Hollywood martial arts scenes. It appears that Seann William Scott took on more stunts than Chow Yun-fat in the film. In fact, when Stifler is the most dedicated action actor in your movie, it’s a clear sign of trouble.

2004: Catwoman

In this reimagined tale, Halle Berry uncovers that her beauty company’s innovative product is hazardous, leading to her untimely demise orchestrated by her superiors as a part of the concealment. However, a group of felines miraculously revive her, transforming her into the latest iteration of Catwoman, a historic figure who has prowled the Earth for eons. As Patience Phillips, Berry’s character now balances between fighting crime and instigating it, using the unique abilities cats are known for: she’s extremely agile, always lands on her feet, is an exceptional basketball player, enjoys burglary, employs whips, makes witty basketball-themed jokes, and has a penchant for leather – much like a typical cat.

It’s worth noting that the director of Catwoman, Pitof, originated from a visual effects field. Consequently, there are undoubtedly worse-looking movies from the 2000s. Nevertheless, it is questionable if there exists a movie with more inconsistent editing. (The cast appears in identical outfits for two consecutive days due to an apparent decision to reedit the film, combining the first day’s events into two, without reshooting anything.)

2005: Alone in the Dark

Uwe Boll gained notoriety as a director in the 2000s, churning out numerous movie adaptations from video games, thanks to a German tax loophole that ensured financial success. If you envisioned the characters from Mel Brooks’ “The Producers” as gamers, you’d have a rough idea of Boll’s career. Among his many missteps, Tara Reid and Christian Slater star in one of his most disastrous projects. This movie is so confusing that even its opening title sequence, which lasts an incredible 90 seconds, makes the film “Alone in the Dark” harder to understand than it would have been without it.

Uwe Boll became a well-known director in the 2000s by making movies based on video games, due to a special tax rule in Germany that guaranteed success. If you picture the characters from Mel Brooks’ “The Producers” as gamers, it gives an idea of Boll’s career. Among his many failures, Tara Reid and Christian Slater starred in one of his most disastrous films. This movie was so confusing that even its opening title sequence, which lasted a long 90 seconds, made the film “Alone in the Dark” harder to follow than it would have been without it.

2006: Basic Instinct 2

In a remarkable display of acting prowess, Sharon Stone’s ability to transform mundane dialogues into something tantalizing borders on the extraordinary. However, despite her extraordinary skills, the film “Basic Instinct 2” fails to impress throughout, with Stone (or rather, overacting) outshining David Morrissey’s character in every scene. The male lead, unfortunately, lacks the presence to be considered her equal. It’s unclear why she shows interest in him, unless it’s because he appears to be an easy target for her to toy with, much like a praying mantis might a weaker insect. Stone’s character, Catherine, seems to be enjoying her ‘game’, but Morrissey’s psychiatrist is so devoid of spark that there’s little thrill in watching him being tormented, as there’s no suspense about the outcome. It’s like watching the 1992 Dream Team play against a team of novice players from a local recreation center.

2007: Norbit

Spectators often find themselves captivated when Eddie Murphy assumes multiple roles within a movie, utilizing intricate makeup prosthetics. Here, Murphy’s talent for physical metamorphosis (alongside Rick Baker’s consistently stunning makeup effects) serves an angry narrative about a hapless man who marries a domineering wife, portrayed by Murphy himself. The character of Rasputia, played by Murphy, is vindictive and violent, offering a technically impressive performance that also leans into a harsh caricature filled with weight-related jokes. To add to the mix, Murphy plays Mr. Wong, a gruff Chinese man operating a local orphanage who speaks in heavy stereotypical accents. All in all, the film is quite disheartening.

2008: Disaster Movie

The title “Disaster Movie” is misleading as it doesn’t accurately represent the content of the films targeted by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. These “disaster” movies include “10,000 B.C.”, “Hancock”, “Jumper”, “Enchanted”, “Alvin and the Chipmunks”, “Beowulf”, and “The Love Guru”. The term “movie” is used here quite liberally since there are only a few actual characters, a minimal storyline, and the narrative is largely held together by a series of poor celebrity impressions. These impressions are so bad that characters have to announce who they’re imitating loudly on screen. (“Amy Winehouse?!?”) It’s disappointing to see such a poorly executed film, one of the saddest examples of cinema I’ve encountered.

2009: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

The humorous title gives a good idea of the movie’s content. Is this an X-Men film, a Wolverine solo adventure, or an origin tale? Why not have all three at once! If director Gavin Hood had concentrated on one aspect, he might have made a decent film. However, this production was already in trouble when it was conceived as a blend of multiple X-Men and Wolverine narratives. “We didn’t sign up for this,” growls Hugh Jackman’s Logan at Liev Schreiber’s Victor in X-Men Origins, a line that also serves as a commentary on the poor quality of the film itself. Other lines with similar meanings include “We’ve done enough!”, “You look like a man about to do something bad”, and my favorite, “Wake me when it’s over.

2010: Jonah Hex

The character Jonah Hex from DC Comics is typically portrayed as a rugged, scarred Western outlaw. It seemed like a surefire success to cast Josh Brolin in a storyline reminiscent of “A Fistful of Dollars” and let him shine as a gun-slinging hero. However, the movie surprisingly endowed him with supernatural abilities (he communicates with the deceased) and over-the-top, comical weapons to align with its over-the-top, comical narrative. The film, titled “Jonah Hex”, is so exceptionally misguided that it makes “Wild Wild West” seem like a masterpiece compared to “The Searchers”.

2011: Atlas Shrugged: Part I

Regardless of personal opinions about Ayn Rand’s novel “Atlas Shrugged”, its title perfectly sums up the underwhelming experience of watching its movie adaptation; in his 2011 critique, Roger Ebert described it as “the most disappointing non-event since Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone’s vault.” The film primarily adopts the initial section of Rand’s novel and features numerous scenes where business leaders engage in lengthy discussions about their field. If you’re a fan of business talks, don’t miss out!

2012: The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

It’s difficult to conceive of a creature less aesthetically pleasing than an Oogielove, with their oversized heads, rotund bodies, and bizarre, Popeye-like arms. These creatures resemble disguises a kidnapper would use to trick children into unmarked vans. They are the main characters in this dreadful kids’ movie, possibly the worst ever produced. (I can attest to this; I have two children, and I’ve watched more than my fair share of bad kids movies. Even the worst of them seem like masterpieces compared to The Oogieloves.)

2013: Movie 43

In simpler, more conversational terms:

This movie, “Movie 43,” isn’t just one of the worst films ever made; it’s downright puzzling. It’s hard to imagine how they persuaded Hugh Jackman to wear a fake scrotum around his neck and dunk it in soup, or convinced Kate Winslet to stare at him while he did so. Honestly, even the worst blackmail material in the world wouldn’t get me to watch this movie – and I’m not a wealthy movie star!

The film’s premise is audacious: A struggling screenwriter (Dennis Quaid) takes a studio exec (Greg Kinnear) hostage and forces him to listen to his outlandish ideas. Each sketch that follows (like the one with Hugh Jackman growing balls from his voice box) seems like the kind of nonsense an armed lunatic might peddle. But why would anyone want to watch a deranged screenwriter’s bad ideas? *Movie 43* can’t seem to answer this crucial question. All it offers is pain… and neck scrotums.

2014: A Haunted House 2

In this rephrasing, I’ve aimed to maintain the original tone while making it more accessible:

“This spoof actually manages to make the movie it mimics (The Devil Inside) seem somewhat better. Despite the numerous Paranormal Activity copies we saw throughout the 2010s, they at least didn’t include scenes of Marlon Wayans humping spooky dolls or crushing adorable puppies under heavy safes. If there ever is an A Haunted House 3, I might just pack up and open a bakery instead.

2015: Strange Magic

A more recent screenplay by George Lucas that bears his name is a 2015 animated musical set in an unappealing backdrop of a senseless war between the Dark Forest and the Fairy Realm. It’s peculiar how this conflict leads to characters from both sides frequently belting out popular tunes from the ’60s and ’70s instead of focusing on the conflict. The music is enjoyable, but the character design lacks charm and is rather displeasing. If you’re interested in a George Lucas musical, I recommend watching American Graffiti instead.

2016: Dirty Grandpa

The film “Dirty Grandpa” follows a similar, underdeveloped comedic approach as many poorly made Hollywood movies: When someone who is typically seen as pure or innocent (such as grandfathers, babies, puppets) says something crude, it’s automatically considered funny. If the thought of Robert De Niro uttering words like “smegma” amuses you, then this movie might be your cup of tea. However, if you prefer humor that is actually funny (or doesn’t consist of constant homophobia), you will likely be disappointed. On a positive note, the title does accurately reflect the content of the film.

2017: The Emoji Movie

There’s potential for a thought-provoking film exploring smartphone culture and emojis, but it would necessitate a script brimming with satire and sharp wit, rather than the lighthearted approach found in “The Emoji Movie“. Beyond its vague optimistic message about accepting diversity, the movie can be seen as the predictable outcome of a tech company that thrives on annual smartphone sales – essentially an advertisement in disguise. It subtly suggests that owning a cell phone will boost your popularity and make you more appealing to girls.

2018: The Happytime Murders

As a dedicated fan, I must admit that Brian Henson’s adult puppet comedy, “The Happytime Murders,” is quite risqué, filled with humor that caters to the immature side of adults. It seems the creative minds behind this production were mainly focused on the amusement factor of puppets in an edgy setting, with a plethora of sex jokes. So, if you ever find yourself at a trivia night and the question pops up about Melissa McCarthy biting a puppet’s private part or Joel McHale staring at a puppet’s vagina (a spoof of the famous scene from “Basic Instinct”), you can confidently answer, “The Happytime Murders.” The only shining light in this film is Maya Rudolph. She manages to make a rice pilaf joke work. Yes, rice pilaf! That woman is a true hero.

2019: Serenity

In the movie “Serenity,” Matthew McConaughey portrays Baker Dill, a fisherman, who receives an unexpected request from his ex-wife, Anne Hathaway, to eliminate her violent husband, Jason Clarke. However, the plot takes an unusual turn that I won’t reveal if you haven’t seen it yet. Even if you’re aware of the movie’s famously mind-bending twist, the way “Serenity” unfolds is still far more absurdly confusing than you might anticipate. It’s hard to believe that anyone thought this concept could work, let alone the numerous individuals who had to believe it in order to bring this perplexing film to life.

2020: Dolittle

As a movie enthusiast, I must say that watching “Dolittle” was akin to witnessing the scene in Tim Burton’s “Batman” where the back-alley doctor botches Jack Napier’s face reconstruction, turning him into the grotesque Joker. It feels like this film was pieced together from leftovers and redo’s of a completely different movie. Initially, it seemed to promise a more serious narrative, but during reshoots, it morphed into a cinematic Frankenstein’s monster filled with crude humor such as poop jokes, fart jokes, even itchy butt jokes. The film is also plagued by inconsistent CGI, and Robert Downey Jr., in an attempt to be entertaining, outshines Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow, making him appear as an introspective character by comparison.

2021: Space Jam: A New Legacy

In “Space Jam: A New Legacy,” Warner Bros. portrayed itself as a heartless conglomerate of IP controlled by an evil AI, making for a remarkable self-critique in cinema. The movie, overall, was weak and unfunny, leaving the original “Space Jam” feeling like a masterpiece compared to it, such as how “2001: A Space Odyssey” contrasts with a simple comedy. LeBron James is not a poor actor; he’s no worse in the lead than Michael Jordan was in the first film. However, nearly everything else about “A New Legacy” is disappointing from start to finish. It appears that the creators don’t fully grasp the charm of Looney Tunes, particularly Bugs Bunny, who is transformed into a whiny and melancholic character in this film. My suggestion: Instead, watch some classic “Looney Tunes Cartoons” on Max. A random short from the collection will likely provide more laughs than this two-hour feature. Additionally, the animation quality in these cartoons surpasses that of the movie.

2022: Marmaduke

If you’ve ever seen an animated movie uglier and less appealing than “Marmaduke,” then I haven’t. And I hope I never will. Frankly, it appears as though this production was churned out as part of a money laundering scheme or some other strange deal where the producers had to create something — anything — by a certain deadline.

Yet, despite the terrible animation, “Marmaduke” boasts some genuinely funny, well-known voices like J.K. Simmons, David Koechner, and Pete Davidson. How could they not have read the script? Didn’t they see the hideous characters they were voicing? Were they each offered a private island in exchange for their work? I can’t fathom how this happened.

2023: Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey

This controversial horror movie, inspired by A.A. Milne’s famous book that has now entered the public domain (enabling productions like this one), fails miserably as both a slasher film and a critique of children’s literature. However, it effectively functions as a twisted argument in favor of the idea that the public domain should not exist. It’s nothing more than an unforgivable mess.

2024: Megamind vs. the Doom Syndicate

In my opinion, this animated sequel appears as one of the most economically modest films I have ever seen from a big-name studio. The quality of an Asylum mockbuster of Megamind wouldn’t be any shoddier than this. The scenes are predominantly set on the monotonous and drab streets of “Metro City,” which looks eerily empty, with barely any pedestrians or passersby in sight. The city appears to be a ghost town where Megamind and the Doom Syndicate are battling for control. It’s reminiscent of a movie set in a less foggy version of the Superman Nintendo 64 game. After 14 long years, this is what they managed to produce as a sequel to Megamind?

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2025-02-25 17:33