Sex, drugs and what I REALLY think about Queen Camilla: ALAN BENNETT’S surprisingly raucous diaries lift lid on his young male crushes, celebrity parties (and Judi Dench’s VERY ‘lively love life’)

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Alan Bennett, widely considered one of Britain’s best writers and a beloved public figure (often mistaken for the artist David Hockney!), is now feeling the effects of his age, approaching his nineties.

Even though they’re not dealing with babies yet, the characters in this story frequently contemplate mortality. The film Enough Said is filled with discussions of various health problems – from bowel cancer and arthritis to brain scans, infections, and even a leaking aorta – as well as the everyday realities of aging like cramps and falls. One scene humorously highlights this when a pharmacist asks, ‘Who’s got the scrotal itch?’ before handing out a prescription.

Hearing loss is becoming more common. Bennett overheard someone say, “I might be home late, I need to go to Paris,” but it turned out they’d actually said, “I might be home late, I’ll get the carrots.” People used to gather around Bennett, often asking about a woman named Sophie. When asked which Sophie they meant, he’d reply that they didn’t care about Sophie at all – they just wanted a picture with him.

I’ve been following Bennett for years, and honestly, it’s heartbreaking seeing all his doctor’s appointments – constant check-ups, blood pressure readings, even colonoscopies! But you know what’s really fascinating? He joked recently that the biggest changes of getting older aren’t the health stuff, it’s that your ears keep growing and… well, let’s just say other things shrink. It’s a strangely hilarious thought, and it’s stuck with me ever since. It just feels so…real, you know? A brutally honest take on aging. I can’t stop thinking about it!

Bennett often thinks about sex and regrets not being more confident in that area of his life. He felt his shyness held him back more than any specific preference. He didn’t address this until he met Rupert Thomas in 1992. Rupert, who is thirty years younger than Bennett and used to be the editor of The World of Interiors, now works as a full-time nurse and provides home care.

Bennett, an elderly man who often sits on a park bench, finds himself daydreaming about attractive young men. He’s captivated by the looks of Olympic diver Tom Daley, the contestants on Love Island, and even a handsome young man he sees at the local shop. He jokingly notes that shorts seem to make people more attracted to each other, especially if someone has good legs. The narrator also mentions that actor Nicky Henson was considered very attractive, and Bennett even thinks his neighbor, David Miliband, still has a certain appeal.

Alan Bennett recalled that when he mentioned Cecil Beaton’s homosexuality, Coral Browne playfully protested, ‘He wasn’t when he was with me, darling – he was all over me like a shot!’ Bennett also finds it amusing that Judi Dench continues to have a vibrant romantic life with her partner, an environmentalist, who Maggie Smith affectionately nicknamed ‘Squirrel Nutkin’.

This book isn’t simply a list of illnesses, and it’s definitely not filled with self-pity. Instead, Bennett finds happiness in everyday moments: enjoying a simple breakfast, wearing comfortable old shoes, watching wildlife, or a quiet lunch. He notices the world around him with a poet’s eye, even the weather – like when ‘large, full clouds quickly burst into heavy rain’.

Bennett cleverly creates the impression of being modest and unassuming, maintaining a regional accent to appear down-to-earth. However, this is a facade – he’s actually very sharp, driven, thinks for himself, and is worldly and sophisticated.

Alan Bennett has enjoyed success with his plays both in Britain and on Broadway. He’s met many famous people over the years, including Judy Garland and Elizabeth Taylor – who famously sat on his lap! His first West End play, Forty Years On, featured John Gielgud. He corresponded frequently with Alec Guinness, and recently discovered a letter from Christopher Isherwood, a former supper companion. Barbra Streisand, Kenneth Williams, Vincent Price, and Morrissey have all visited his home.

Snowdon once brought me to Windsor Castle and took a memorable photo of me – I was on a butcher’s delivery bike completely surrounded by corgis! I was also pleased to find myself chatting with Gyles Brandreth at an event, as he’s a very approachable person. Meeting Camilla, I found her charming and always seemed to see a sparkle in her eye. Despite living such a privileged life, Bennett seems to work hard at appearing humble and like an outsider.

Bennett is quick to point out he’s different from writers like Margaret Drabble and William Golding, explaining he prefers observing to being the center of attention – ‘I’m on the side of the bath while they do all the splashing.’ Despite being part of the famous Beyond The Fringe comedy group alongside Dudley Moore, Peter Cook, and Jonathan Miller, he doesn’t like to brag about it. He playfully claims he was the least funny member, which his friends would likely disagree with. Jonathan Miller actually appears often in Bennett’s memoir, Enough Said. One particularly funny story recounts a time Bennett was caught unprepared in Camden Town and had to rush to Miller’s house to borrow a pair of underpants.

Bennett found Miller arrogant and constantly tried to show off how much smarter he was, often dismissing religion and talking rapidly. Miller wouldn’t admit when he was wrong, even about well-known historical events. Eventually, Miller developed Alzheimer’s and lost his memory, even forgetting his involvement in Beyond The Fringe and his friendship with Bennett.

Bennett now deeply appreciates the late Victoria Wood, whom he met while both were shopping for avocados. They bonded over a shared joke at actress Thora Hird’s memorial service – imagining being lifted to the stage on a stairlift. Bennett also fondly remembers the brass band at Wood’s funeral and admires her wit and skill in capturing the nuances of northern English accents, especially in her show Dinnerladies.

Bennett consistently reveals a deep longing for the north in his work, and his current film project, ‘The Choral,’ centers around musical traditions in Yorkshire.

He surprisingly admitted he enjoyed using drugs, saying he’s always liked amphetamines and didn’t see the appeal of cocaine unless it was combined with sex.

At coming up to 92, surely a person can say and do what they please.

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2026-03-22 20:38