98.6% of Solana Meme Coins EXPOSED as Fraud in Shocking Blockchain Report 🤯

Karamazovian Report: 98.6% of Solana Meme Coins Are Mostly Fraud, You Say? Are You Surprised, Alyosha?

Solana—Where Meme Dreams Become Dostoevskian Nightmares 😱

The “report”—does it still amaze you, gentle reader?—bears the inauspicious name Solidus Labs’ 2025 Rug Pull Report. More than 7 million tokens, as elusive as Raskolnikov’s conscience, were anatomized upon Pump.fun’s surgical table betwixt January 2024 and March 2025. And what did the piercing scalpel find? Fewer than 100,000 tokens—less than the population of an unambitious provincial town—possessed liquidity exceeding $1,000. The infamous bonding curve model, that cunning mathematical contraption, lifts the price for each scrambling, desperate buyer. Perhaps a metaphor for life, or at least for Ponzi schemes.

Meanwhile, on Raydium—think of it as Solana’s roguish cousin—matters are similarly bleak. Of 388,000 liquidity pools examined (one wonders if even Ivan Karamazov could count so high unaided), a full 93% demonstrated the subtle artistry of the “soft rug pull.” Developers vanish like Dostoevsky’s debts, leaving traders to contemplate their losses: a median $2,832—enough for a stifling garret in St. Petersburg, or perhaps a very disappointing dinner. One particularly ambitious scoundrel absconded with $1.9 million—possibly dreaming of Siberia.

Authorities, sensing a Dostoevskian drama—moral chaos reigning, the tension between redemption and punishment—began to stir. The SEC and DOJ, donning their own prosecutor’s hats, have taken up the hunt. New York lawmakers now discuss criminalizing code-based fraud. Meteora, a Solana DEX, was accused in a class action for a rug pull so spectacular—$69 million!—that even Fyodor would pause his pen to gawk.

Institutions, so dignified in public, now fidget nervously. DOJ’s April 2025 warning memo suggests the guillotine may swing for platforms who ignore fraud (don’t lose your heads, gentlemen). Solidus Labs recommends monitoring, like the ever-vigilant Porfiry Petrovich, using tools such as Token Sniffer to spot larceny before it blossoms. But will they? Or, like our friend Dmitri, will they only wake up after the silver has gone missing? 🕵️‍♂️

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2025-05-08 19:12