Year: 2025

95% bullish? Congrats, you’re all delusional. Liquidity clusters above $2? More like “liquidity traps” set by guys in basements wearing hoodies. Market resets? Sounds like my ex’s Instagram story.

Though some traders, with the wisdom of a seasoned gambler, assert that the 2025 summit has already been scaled, others, with the fervor of prophets, insist that the four-year cycle is evolving into a protracted “super cycle,” fueled by the influx of institutional capital and the approval of new ETFs. As liquidity, that fickle mistress, returns to risk-laden assets, analysts, those modern-day seers, gaze upon several top altcoins, which they claim could bestow tenfold returns upon their adherents in the upcoming rally.

From the oracle Shibburn, comes the decree: a soar of 836,955.45% in these last 24 hours. Yet, verily, the tokens immolated number scant less than a million-nay, merely 920,761 SHIB tokens. How pitiful, how absurd! For such magniloquent surges bespoke millions in flame, but here, a mere trickle ignites a tempest. 🙄💀

As the month of October dawned in the year 2025, heralding what was prophesied to be an upward soar across the crypto cosmos-nay, Uptober, as the sages dubbed it-alas, it crumbled with the drama of a Tolstoy novel’s tragic hero, following the thunderous decree from the White House throne by President Trump, who brandished threats of tariffs against the enigmatic lands of China.