Why the U.S. Bond Market is Having a Meltdown (and It’s Not Just the Coffee!)

It seems our dear hedge funds are having a bit of a meltdown. They’re unwinding their basis trades like a bad hair day, all thanks to rising market volatility and those pesky margin calls. Who knew trading could be so stressful? It’s like watching a reality show where everyone’s trying to outdo each other in the “who can lose money faster” competition! 📉

Blockchain Startup Snags $50M: No Bots Allowed! 😎

The funding round, led by the illustrious Rollman Management, was announced with a flair that could only be described as Turgenevian drama. The startup promises not only to rid the digital world of these pesky automatons but also to share the spoils of advertising revenue with its users. A veritable utopia where every click funds a cause dear to your heart! 💖

Crypto Wizard Freed! (No, We Didn’t Expect It Either)

Back in 2019, Griffith, 41, demonstrated an impressive penchant for controversy by trotting off to North Korea. There, he politely offered a dazzling talk titled “Blockchain for Peace,” which one imagines was slightly less peaceful from the viewpoint of U.S. prosecutors. They alleged that his informational wizardry on crypto usage might have been a bit too enlightening for the dear folks in Pyongyang. Who knew disclaimers like “Don’t use this for money-laundering” could be so easily forgotten? 🤔