Month: April 2025

On the ninth day of April (mark your calendars, for you may wish to pen it in gold), our noble leader brashly declared that the great empire of China doth show “no respect at all” for the markets of the world. Fie! The man then raised their tariffs to a lofty 125% without so much as a polite curtsy. Elsewhere, over 75 other nations hopped on the negotiation stage, eager to win the affection of America’s greatest commerce minds. 😜

OpenAI, in a statement that could be mistaken for a dramatic soliloquy, took to X to declare that Musk is peddling a narrative of deception about their noble goals. They insist their mission is a charitable endeavor devoted to the benevolent development of AI, a stark contrast to Musk’s allegations that they are plotting nefarious schemes in the shadows.

According to the official filing, the bill is all about studying how blockchain can safeguard voter records and ensure transparency in election results. Because nothing says “democracy” like a decentralized ledger, right? At the moment, the bill is being reviewed by the Assembly Election Law Committee, which is basically the political equivalent of waiting for your Uber to arrive. Once it advances, it’ll have to pass through the Assembly and State level before it lands on the governor’s desk for approval. 🚀

Such a deluge of riches flowing into the exchange often rings alarm bells like a drunken church bell ringer on New Year’s Eve. For, you see, traders are wont to move their precious crypto onto exchanges when they’re sharpening their knives, preparing to sell! With Bitcoin, that fickle beast, having recently bounced up a merry 8.8% to around $82,474 after Trump’s magnanimous (or perhaps merely strategic?) 90-day pause on new tariffs (excluding, of course, the ever-vexing China), some fear the market is about to take a tumble. On the other hand, the ever-optimistic Pav Hundal, analyst of Swyftx, suggests this might not be a harbinger of doom at all. He posits that the movement could simply reflect Binance preparing for a deluge of trading volume, rather than an impending fire sale. 🤔 Who knows, eh?

More to the point, there’s a general sense of impending doom because Donald Trump (yes, *him*) has slapped a 125% tariff on China. I mean, seriously? China, not to be outdone, has retaliated with an 85% tariff on US imports. It’s all frightfully complicated, darling. In this chaos, the cryptos could face further uncertainty and even collapse. Oh, the drama! 🎭

Lo and behold! Solana has managed to muster enough gumption to form a veritable foundation above the $100 barricade, much like its noble counterparts Bitcoin and Ethereum. With a little grit, it has navigated the waters above $110 and $112.

Avec armure verbale et un brin de sarcasme, la noble dame s’exclama : “Dois-je donc soupçonner que ce grand acteur, par ses caprices tarifaires, a aidé ses complices à encaisser sur une danse de montagnes russes financières ?” Ainsi se déclara-t-elle sur ce réseau de modernité facétieuse, X.