Kraken’s Daring Leap: From Crypto to Stocks, Because Why Not? 💸

With a flourish befitting a grand announcement, Kraken has proclaimed that its initial foray is now live, offering a veritable cornucopia of over 11,000 stocks and exchange-traded funds, all nestled comfortably within the bosom of the United States. One can only imagine the glee of the eligible clients in such illustrious states as New Jersey, Wyoming, Oklahoma, Idaho, Connecticut, and the District of Columbia, who shall be the first to partake in this newfound bounty. 🍾

You Won’t Believe What Michael Fabricant REALLY Thinks of ‘Boring’ Jack P. Shepherd!

As a devoted fan, I found myself among the unfortunate few who were eliminated during the show’s episode last Friday. The honor (or perhaps dishonor) of being the initial celebrity to exit this series was bestowed upon me, a former Conservative member of Parliament, as I faced stiff competition from a talented Corrie actor in his 30s and a renowned Hollywood star in his 70s. The public vote decided my fate in this grand production.

Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: Tariffs, Yields, and Why Your Wallet is Crying

The 10-year treasury yield dropped by 8.2 basis points to 4.40%, and the 2-year treasury slipped 8 basis points to 3.88%. Why? Because of some tariff exemptions on smartphones, computers, and semiconductors. Because, you know, US companies need time to move production back home. But don’t get too excited—President Trump made it clear these exemptions are temporary. 🙃