Coinbase Drops Major XRP Update: Details

According to a post made by Coinbase Institutional on X (previously Twitter, because who needs a real social media presence, right?), the exchange anticipates the XRP futures contracts to go live on April 21, 2025. Just in time for the next market crash, no doubt.

Bitcoin Goes Bonkers: It’s Up $2,000, Back to the Future of Finance!

Today, in a move that’s baffled experts and everyday folks alike, BTC jumped an exhilarating 2.36%, adding a delightful $2,000 to its already inflated value like a party balloon on a hot day. The reason behind this sudden spike? Well, it seems that traders have taken to the crystal ball, and their prediction is as insane as it is intriguing: the Fed Reserve may just be warming up to the notion of a whopping 100 basis points interest rate cut this year! 🎉 That’s the sort of number that can make a mathematician weep with joy or confusion – or both.

Elon’s Starlink vs. Trump’s Tariffs: A Desperate Game of Cosmic Chess 🚀🤡

During the question hour in the Rajya Sabha, Chadha, with the fervor of a man who has seen too much and understood too little, lamented the 26% tariffs imposed by the Trump administration. “India,” he declared, “has offered its unflinching loyalty and undying friendship to the US. We have done everything possible to promote and protect the interests of the US and US companies in India… But despite this, the Trump administration has levied 26% tariffs on Indian goods, which is likely to hit us by 50-100 basis points in terms of GDP loss. We will lose our competitive advantage in the global market particularly if the doors of the US markets are closed for us.”