Month: March 2025

Good gracious, what a hullabaloo! The markets are as skittish as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. With trade tensions tightening like a boa constrictor, Asian and European stocks have been taking a tumble, reminiscent of a particularly unfortunate game of musical chairs. Japan’s Nikkei 225 has fallen faster than a soufflé in a cold oven, dropping a whopping 4% and entering correction territory, having lost over 10% from its record high. European indexes such as the FTSE 100, DAX, and CAC 40 opened in the red, painting a rather gloomy picture alongside U.S. stock futures that look like they’ve seen better days.

OnlyFans, Patreon, Cameo – these platforms have become the new world ports, bustling hubs where creators dock to trade their wares directly with eager fans. It’s a golden era, or so it seems, until the gold starts to lose its luster. The creators, in their quest to conquer new lands, find themselves marooned on islands of exhaustion, their once boundless energy sapped by the relentless tide of messages and expectations.

According to our sources (ahem, Finance Feeds), the SEC is not just cranky about OKX’s lack of a license under the Digital Asset Business Act B.E. 2561 (2018) – oh no! They’re also throwing shade on their “Know Your Customer” and “Anti-Money Laundering” protocols, which they claim leave Thai traders as vulnerable as a catnip-loving kitten in a room full of puppies. 🐱💔

Global crypto ETPs pulled in another $226 million in the last trading week, adding to the prior week’s $644 million haul, according to CoinShares on March 31. Yet, despite this two-week glimmer of optimism, the total assets under management (AUM) kept slipping, like sand through a prospector’s fingers, dropping below $134 million by March 28.

Our dear South Korean exchange, Bithumb, has danced back into the realm of profitability, with revenue soaring by a jaw-dropping 265.4% year-over-year, as reported by the ever-watchful News1, citing the sacred scrolls of the Financial Supervisory Service’s electronic disclosure system. 📈

Now, hold onto your hats, because bigwigs like Strategy (formerly known as MicroStrategy, but who’s counting?) are gobbling up this digital gold like it’s the last slice of chocolate cake at a birthday party! 🎂 But beware, market watchers are wringing their hands, warning of a liquidity crunch that could send prices soaring like a kite in a hurricane! 🌪️

In a twist that could only be described as “heavy-duty mining,” Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. have decided to fuse their firm, American Data Centers, with this freshly minted entity called American Bitcoin, claiming a modest 20% share. The other 80%? Well, that’s courtesy of Hut 8, a public crypto infrastructure company, which is generously contributing nearly 61,000 mining machines—just what every family needs on a Sunday afternoon, right? Oh, and no cash exchanged hands! How quaint!