Month: March 2025

March blew through the crypto world like one of those Arctic winds you can’t escape — biting cold, unapologetic, and seemingly endless. President Donald Trump’s tariff policies sowed chaos, turning Bitcoin into a rollercoaster fit for thrill-seekers, while decentralized finance (DeFi) continued to be ravaged by its all-too-familiar nemesis: hackers. And yes, someone grabbed the popcorn 🍿 — naturally, it wasn’t us.

Tron’s market cap just strutted up the ladder with a 1.27% increase to a solid $22.16 billion in the past 24 hours. Meanwhile, Cardano? It’s having a harder time than a cat that missed the counter jump. 😿 ADA’s market cap slumped 5.15%, sliding all the way down to $22.57 billion. Somebody get Ada a tissue, will ya? 🤧

Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump, the elder scions of President Donald Trump, are reportedly channeling capital into American Bitcoin, a cryptocurrency mining venture, as disclosed by a recent exposé. The enterprise, predominantly held by Hut 8 Mining Corp., marks the latest addition to the Trump dynasty’s burgeoning array of digital currency endeavors.

As of March 31, Ether was trading at a paltry $1,820, down a staggering 40% since Eric’s tweet. Meanwhile, its market share has plummeted to 8.39%, the lowest since 2020. It seems the Trump family’s Midas touch has turned to lead. Or perhaps it’s just karma for that tariff war. 🤷‍♂️

Look here, just yesterday Litecoin was caught hangin’ around $81, down more than 5% in a flash. Couple weeks ago, it was knocking at $140 like it was fixin’ to move into the big leagues—that very level it tickled last December. But here’s the kicker: it’s doubling down on failure, forming what fancy folks call a “double-top” chart pattern. Sounds mighty technical, but it’s just another way to say, “This ain’t lookin’ good, folks!”

Right now, XRP is trading at $2.06, which is great if you’re into watching your money slowly evaporate. Last week, it dropped 15%. Not catastrophic, but definitely not the kind of performance that makes you want to brag at parties. 📉

Those Republican fellas are hustling to deliver stablecoin and market structure bills to President Trump before their summer vacation—just four months away! Four months! They think they can do it in four months? I need four months just to find my car keys! Although no one’s actually seen this market structure bill yet, rumors are swirling that something’s cooking behind closed doors. This “revised” draft supposedly builds on flops like the Fit for the 21st Century Act (FIT21), which somehow squeezed through the House last year, and that Responsible Financial Innovation Act thingamajig by Senators Lummis and Gillibrand. Responsible? Innovate? They should try stand-up comedy! 😂