100 Million Bitcoin Owners? You Won’t Believe This! 😲💰

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So, there we were, at the biggest Bitcoin conference in Las Vegas—because where else would you hold a crypto convention? The Vice President of the United States decided to grace us with his presence and deliver a speech that was, let’s be honest, a love letter to cryptocurrency. I mean, who doesn’t love a good love letter? 😏

JD Vance, in all his glory, proclaimed he’s “bullish” on technology. Bullish? Really? What does that even mean? It’s like saying you’re “optimistic” about the weather in a hurricane. He compared the crypto industry to “genuine, ground-up innovation.” Ground-up? More like ground-up chaos! But hey, it’s improving the lives of tens of thousands, so that’s something, right? 🙄

And then he dropped the bombshell: 100 million people will own Bitcoin “before not too long.” Not too long? What does that even mean? Is that like saying “soon” when you really mean “never”? 🤔

He went on to say that crypto is a hedge against bad policy in Washington. Bad policy? That’s like saying the sky is blue! It’s always bad policy! And let’s not forget about inflation eroding our savings. Thanks, inflation! You’re the real MVP! 🏆

“Crypto is a hedge against the private sector that discriminates against consumers based on their beliefs.” Wow, what a revelation! Next, he’ll tell us that water is wet. 💦

Then, he touched on ending the infamous operation Chokepoint 2.0. Because who doesn’t want to end something that sounds like a bad video game? And he assured us that the Trump administration would never “handicap” the crypto community. Right, because that’s worked out so well in the past! 🙃

“We reject weaponized regulators.” Oh, please! They fired Gary Gensler, and now they’re on a firing spree! It’s like a reality show, but with more drama and fewer roses. 🌹

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2025-05-28 19:39