Things That Would Make Death Himself Raise An Eyebrow:
- In a display of computational overkill that would make Hex proud, Bitcoin‘s hashrate has achieved the absolutely ridiculous milestone of 1 zettahash (1 ZH/s), while miners are earning about enough to buy a slice of toast. A rather disappointing slice at that. 🍞
- The difficulty fairy has been particularly mischievous lately, with a 7% adjustment that’s about as welcome as a chocolate teapot. 🫖
In what can only be described as the technological equivalent of using a star to light a cigarette, Bitcoin’s hashrate has achieved 1 zettahash. The Auditors of Reality would probably need a lie-down after trying to comprehend this number. 🌟
To put this in perspective, imagine someone telling you in 2016 that your 1 exahash would one day be multiplied by 1,000. They’d have been laughed at harder than a dwarf trying to sell beach property in Ankh-Morpork. 😆
Meanwhile, President Trump’s tariffs have been about as helpful to Bitcoin’s price as a chocolate fireguard, sending it tumbling to a mere $77,000 – barely enough to buy a decent second-hand broomstick these days. 🧹
The whole hashrate business is rather like trying to measure how many angels can dance on the head of a pin while they’re all doing the hokey-pokey. The 7-day moving average suggests it’s actually around 879 EH/s, but who’s counting? (Besides every miner in existence, that is.) 🕺
In a twist that would make the Guild of Assassins proud, the difficulty adjustment has stabbed upward by 7%, reaching a height of 121.5 trillion. At this point, it’s becoming harder to mine Bitcoin than to find a genuine vegetarian dish in Dibbler’s sausage cart. 🌭
And in the final act of this cosmic joke, miners are now earning a whopping $42.40 per exahash – roughly the cost of a round of drinks at the Mended Drum, if you’re not too picky about what’s in the glasses. The miners’ accountants are presumably updating their résumés as we speak. 🍺
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2025-04-07 14:03