You know how your mom always told you not to leave your wallet lying around? Well, apparently nobody gave that advice to Filament, a decentralized exchange that just got robbed faster than my sister clearing out a Nordstrom rack. 🏃♂️💨
Picture this: It’s midnight UTC, and while most of us were doom-scrolling through social media or questioning our life choices, some clever hackers were playing “Grand Theft Crypto” with Filament’s order book. They made off with $572,000 – which, in crypto terms, is like stealing someone’s lunch money, but still enough to make you cry into your ramen. 🍜
The thieves executed their master plan between midnight and 4 AM – because apparently, crime does pay, but only during graveyard shifts. Using multiple accounts (like my ex using fake profiles to stalk me), they manipulated prices faster than my dad changes TV channels with the remote. 📺
1/2 On April 6, 2025 at 12:00 AM UTC, Filament Finance experienced a targeted exploit involving unauthorized fund withdrawals through price manipulation on our order book. The coordinated attack leveraged large order placements and self-liquidation mechanisms across multiple…
— Filament (@FilamentFinance) April 6, 2025
In a move that reminds me of closing the barn door after the horse has bolted, Filament quickly paused all trading. They’re now playing detective with law enforcement, probably wearing little Sherlock Holmes hats while they’re at it. 🕵️♂️
The hackers, showing all the subtlety of a unicorn in a china shop, bounced the money through something called the Symbiosis Bridge – which sounds like a rejected Star Trek episode title – and into various exchanges, mainly FixedFloat. 🦄
In what might be the most optimistic move since I tried to fit into my high school jeans, Filament is offering the attackers a 10% bounty to return the funds. That’s like offering a burglar a cookie to bring back your TV. 🍪
For last 24 hours, we have been working really hard to:
– Secure the product and go through second by second logs to identify the malicious actors.
– Work with legal authorities and security experts to recover the funds.
– Create a clear plan of action to safely return the…— Abhitej | Filament (🦹,🦹) (@abhitejxyz) April 7, 2025
If you think this is bad, hold onto your hardware wallets, because 2025 is turning out to be the year of crypto heists. We’ve already lost $1.64 billion in Q1 alone – that’s more money than I’ll make in several lifetimes, assuming I continue my career as a professional procrastinator. 💸
And just like my dating history, the crypto world keeps making the same mistakes. Another platform, Hyperliquid, lost $10.63 million in a similar incident. At this rate, we might need to start storing our crypto in those fake cans of shaving cream like they do in spy movies. 🕶️
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2025-04-07 09:59