🚨 Bitcoin’s Last Stand? 😱

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Oy vey, Bitcoin‘s in a pickle! 🤦‍♂️ Down over 22% from its all-time high, and those daily timeframes are looking like a sad, sad trombone 🎺. But fear not, folks! Our weekly and monthly timeframes are still bullish… for now 🤞.

Bitcoin Bull Run: R.I.P.? 🎭

Meet Charting Guy (@ChartingGuy), the crypto analyst with a flair for the dramatic 🎬. He’s all about that $95,000 price point, baby! 🤑 “Reclaim and hold $95k,” he cries, “or else… 🚫” Apparently, this magic number is like the Golden Ticket to a bull run 🎟️. Miss it, and we’re doomed to bear-ish despair 🐻.

Charting Guy’s all about that 0.618 Fibonacci retracement life 📊. Break above, and we’re golden 🏆. Fail, and… well, let’s just say it won’t be pretty 🤢. Oh, and did we mention the S&P 500 (SPY) is also in on this golden pocket action? 🤝

But wait, there’s hope! 🌈 Charting Guy sees a bull run on the horizon… in April, May, and June 📆. That is, if May doesn’t turn into “Sell in May and Go Away” month 🚫. The suspense is killing us! 🤔

And then, there’s @wauwda, the cautious crypto analyst 🙅‍♂️. This guy’s all about the bearish signals 🚨: “Every indicator is getting bearish… Ultimate Bull Trap” 🤯. But, he does see a relief rally coming… because, you know, everyone’s so bearish 🙄.

Wauwda’s also got a list of “euphoria indicators” 📝, including:

  • Founder Tron buying a $6.2M banana (yes, you read that right 🍌)
  • Coinbase giving away free Bitcoin like candy 🎁
  • Doge being worth more than General Motors (what?! 🚀)

At press time, BTC traded at $84,206. Because, you know, that’s all that really matters 🤑.

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2025-04-02 14:11