🚓 SBF’s Oklahoma Adventure: Unauthorized Chat Spree Continues! 📢

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In the dusty heart of Oklahoma, a new chapter unfolds for Sam Bankman-Fried, the man whose name and sentence length are equally imposing. Once a denizen of the star-studded Metropolitan Detention in Brooklyn—a place where the walls whispered tales of R. Kelly’s melodies and ‘Diddy’s’ beats—SBF has now swapped the Big Apple for the Sooner State. His unauthorized chinwag with the one and only Tucker Carlson, conducted from the cozy confines of his Brooklyn cell, was the straw that broke the Bureau of Prisons’ back.

But lo and behold, the whispers of a move had been swirling since last May, with some folks betting their bottom dollar on a California dreamin’ transfer to Mendota. Alas, the winds of fate blows where they may, and Oklahoma it was.

The Unauthorized Chit-Chat Extravaganza

Last March, in an act of sheer chutzpah, Bankman-Fried held court with Carlson for a hearty 42 minutes. The interview, a veritable feast for the ears, dished on everything from the finer points of prison life to the cryptic musings of the crypto world. And like a cherry on top, SBF sprinkled in his two cents on the Dems and his own financial pickle.

The interview, a shocker in itself given SBF’s post-conviction radio silence, landed him in solitary faster than you can say “media blackout.” And from solitary, it was a hop, skip, and a jump to a new set of bars and a fresh batch of cellmates.

SBF’s Denial Diatribe

Carlson, ever the obliging host, summarized the interview on his Twitter/X account, and SBF seized the moment to once again wave off the charges like a bad smell. “Criminal, me?” he pondered aloud, before suggesting that FTX was as solvent as a cucumber in the collapse. As for Ryan Salame, SBF called the charges against him “as bogus as a three-dollar bill,” hinting that the whole shebang reeked of political shenanigans.

But our man SBF isn’t just a one-trick pony; he’s a veritable magnet for controversy. His little chat with Carlson not only got him a one-way ticket to Oklahoma but also cost his crisis manager, Mark Botnick, his job. And let’s not forget the time he tried to charm the witnesses—oops! His legal eagles, ever cunning, thought a conservative media charm offensive might just bag him a presidential pardon. 🤔

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2025-03-29 10:43