🚀 Blockchain Giants Team Up: When EOS Met VirgoCX in a Financial Love Story Gone Wild!

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SQUEAK! 🐀 The Blockchain of Unseen University’s Department of Post-Mortem Communications (formerly known as EOS Network, but they thought that sounded too much like a washing powder) has decided to join forces with VirgoCX, a Canadian crypto exchange that sounds suspiciously like a horoscope gone wrong. 🌟

In what could only be described as the financial equivalent of putting an orangutan in charge of the Ankh-Morpork Bank, Vaulta (yes, they really thought adding an ‘a’ would make it fancy) has embarked on a partnership that would make the Patrician raise an eyebrow – and that’s saying something! 🦧

The whole affair, due to materialize like a wizard’s spell gone right (for once) in May, promises to do what banks do, but faster and cheaper – which, let’s face it, isn’t exactly setting the bar very high. It’s rather like comparing the speed of light to the speed of an elderly tortoise carrying a message through treacle. ⚡🐢

“Look,” said Yves La Rose, who clearly missed the opportunity to add ‘Grand Wizard’ to his title, “banks are about as useful as a chocolate teapot in some places, and twice as messy when they melt down.”

Yves La Rose, Chief Ankh-Morpork Banking Revolutionist at Vaulta

The system, which works about as simply as explaining quantum physics to Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, will let users send money using whatever they have handy – crypto, cash, or possibly even slightly used railway shares. 💰

Initially, this magical money-moving service will only work in places that sound like they were picked by throwing darts at a map (U.S., Canada, Hong Kong, Brazil, and Australia), with more locations to be added once they figure out how to properly aim the darts. Adam Cai, who probably wishes he’d thought of adding an ‘a’ to his name too, believes this is going to be the next big thing in crypto – rather like saying the invention of the wheel was going to be quite useful for transportation. 🎯

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2025-04-07 09:44