😱 Ethereum Might Mime Up to $10k? Let’s Relax, Shh…

You’d think after nearly 10 years of playing footsie with that pesky trendline, Ethereum (or Eth, as we now call it because we’re cool like that) finally had enough of its game of seesaw. Still, it’s clinging to that level as if it were a beloved but slightly annoying ex.

Just a typical Tuesday for Eth, isn’t it? Swinging around $3,000 with the swagger of a semi-confident teen, it sits smugly at press time, after a 7% uptick this past week. Sure, it had a slight blip today (because balance, of course), but 24-hour trading volume is booming at $14.6 billion. That’s showbiz, people. (Or at least, pretend this is show biz and not just cryptocurrencies going nuts.)

A chart – which, yes, we’ve somehow managed to Google – posted by that chart-savvy star, Merlijn The Trader, shows our dear Eth as indecisive as a teenager choosing between avocado toast and bagels, lingerin’ in a green zone from 2016. The chart is whispering sweet nothings suggestive of an imminent act two, where, oh joy, Eth takes a break but comes back like a boomerang on steroids.

Remarkably, Eth is doing its 2017 and 2020 impression at the moment, behaving as if it’s been rehearsing this breakout for decades. No, seriously, this trendline is so faithful, it’s been the one Eth’s had staying true for years – until today, if today ever comes. We hold our breath (and our wallets tightly shut, lest we vicariously vomit green-stamped money).

On the other hand, technical indicators are like teenagers texting old flame emojis: sending mixed signals left and right. The RSI, all the way down at 40.76, is crawling its way back to the fertile lands of 50, indicating bearish pressure might just be feeding the fishes. Yeah, it’s undergoing its teenage rebellion, but possibly on the verge of growing up.

And our old friend, the MACD, ever the drama queen, just can’t stay negative today. Like someone’s binged a favorite rom-com, it’s flipped positive and smooched right over its own signal line. Currently basking at 34 – a level surely to be recounted as a pivotal moment in Eth-gymology classes of the future.

Meanwhile, Bridget Jones-esque whales aren’t talking much as they absorb that sell pressure like some morning coffee at a bargain. Eth zoomed into their massive bid wall around $2,750-$2,850, rebounded, and carried on shopping peacefully. Maybe the whales just prefer passive-aggressive investing?

As Merlijn sagely observed, “Price nuked into a massive bid wall. Whales absorbed it in silence.” The hush is palpable like an awkward family dinner.

Once Eth swept past the $3,200 sell-side, it played coy, going back and forth in a $2,950-$3,050 range. Merlijn whispered (for the ninth time), “Next phase: fake-out the late buyers. Don’t blink.” And just like in any engaging romantic entanglement, we nervously await the suspenseful twist.

Now, if Eth steps above $3,050, it might nip at the heels of $3,300-$3,400. But if it decides to throw tantrums and plummet under $2,600, well, that could swing things to the gloomy depths of $2,000-$2,200. Plot twist alert!

Keep your eyes peeled, though: analysts are whispering (in hushed but excited tones) that if Eth keeps its act together, it might sidle up to $9,000-$10,000. At this point, if it doesn’t, we suggest it just go full dramatic novelist’s anticlimax. Not that we don’t support Eth, but we do have our limits.

2025-11-28 11:33

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