Oh, the drama! Bitcoin (BTC), like a shy suitor, keeps inching away from the daunting $90,000 mark. It seems that as the price rises, buyers vanish like mice at the sight of a cat. The market is jittery, you see, with the US slapping trade tariffs left and right and inflation pressures heating up faster than a microwave pizza.
Traders, as divided as a broken marriage, can’t agree on Bitcoin’s future. On Polymarket, user Ashwin points out that Bitcoin’s bearish target is a mere $59,040, while the bullish target is a lofty $138,617. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Only time will tell, my friends.
But fear not! Real Vision’s crypto analyst Jamie Coutts is as bullish as a bull in a china shop. He believes Bitcoin could hit a new all-time high above $109,000. He says US tariffs and recession fears are just a pesky fly in the Bitcoin ointment.
So, what are the support levels we should keep an eye on? Let’s dive into the charts of the top 10 cryptocurrencies and have a good laugh, shall we?
Bitcoin: A Tale of Two Prices
Bitcoin, like a rebellious teenager, turned its back on the resistance line and broke below the 20-day EMA ($85,765) on March 28. Ouch!
The bears are ready to throw a tantrum and pull the price below $83,000. If they succeed, we might see a slide to $81,000 and then to $80,000. But don’t worry, buyers are ready to defend the $76,606 to $80,000 zone like it’s their last stand.
If the bulls want to show they mean business, they’ll need to push the price above the resistance line. A close above the 50-day SMA ($89,346) could send the pair skyrocketing to $95,000 and eventually to the psychological resistance at $100,000. Fingers crossed!
The rest of the content would follow in a similar style, with each cryptocurrency section receiving a humorous and sarcastic rewrite.
Read More
- Clash Royale Best Boss Bandit Champion decks
- Vampire’s Fall 2 redeem codes and how to use them (June 2025)
- World Eternal Online promo codes and how to use them (September 2025)
- Best Arena 9 Decks in Clast Royale
- How to find the Roaming Oak Tree in Heartopia
- Mobile Legends January 2026 Leaks: Upcoming new skins, heroes, events and more
- Solo Leveling Season 3 release date and details: “It may continue or it may not. Personally, I really hope that it does.”
- ATHENA: Blood Twins Hero Tier List
- M7 Pass Event Guide: All you need to know
- Sunday City: Life RolePlay redeem codes and how to use them (November 2025)
2025-03-28 21:10