🕵️‍♂️ One Whale Just Vacuumed 1% of All ETH-Find Out How They Pulled It Off!

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Blimey! In seven measly days, BitMine-equal parts cunning fox and spreadsheet-worshipping dragon-gorged itself on a mountain of sparkly Ethereum so tall the coins practically tickled the moon. Result? A shmashing $6.6 billion treasure pile, brimming with about 1 out of every 100 ETH coins currently floating about. 💸

Translation for the gobsmacked: they’re now the silver-medal blimp in the “Who’s-Hoarding-ETH” parade, forever puffing behind the undisputed zeppelin known only as Strategy. 🥈✨

“We snaffled $1.7 billion worth faster than a squirrel hoarding nuts before winter,” boomed Tom Lee-BitMine’s fearless prez and the chap who apparently gargles spreadsheets for breakfast. “Institutions can’t stop flinging money at us, so naturally we’re aiming to gobble a thunderous 5% of all ETH. Watch this space!” 😅🔥

Bitcoin Who?-Brace Yourself for GENIUS-Level Nonsense

Not content with mere megabucks, Mr Lee whipped out historical megaphones big enough to deafen a dinosaur. With a cheeky grin he linked today’s crypto frolics to:

  • the freshly baked GENIUS Act (a delicious pastry of policy and paperwork);
  • the SEC’s shiny new Project Crypto cookbook; and, for extra oomph,
  • the 1971 collapse of the Bretton Woods gold standard-which vaporised shiny metal supremacy quicker than Uncle Bert’s toupée in a hurricane. 💨🪙

In short: just as 1971 turned suits from gold-sniffers to paper-pushers, these moves will transform crypto from playground-swingset to theme-park-on-Jupiter. 🌌

So tighten your belts, kiddies-BitMine’s grand feast has barely started. If supply keeps tightening and institutions keep stampeding like schoolboys to the tuck shop, Ethereum’s future may end up smelling distinctly of victory… and possibly bubble gum. 🍬🪙

NOTE: None of the above is any sort of magical fortune cookie! Do your own homework, ask an actual grown-up with a licence, or risk swapping your pocket money for digital moon dust. Coindoo says DYOR or step on a Lego. (You’ve been warned!)

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2025-08-19 00:36