Movies

Tina Fey Is a Marriage Realist

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when does the caretaking finally stop?

Tara Fey’s acting career beyond SNL has often revolved around portraying or developing characters similar to Liz Lemon from 30 Rock, the sensible one amidst chaos. In Mean Girls, she served as the rational voice in the absurd world of high school cliques. In Baby Mama, she played the level-headed, rule-abiding mother-to-be, contrasted with Amy Poehler’s uncontrollable surrogate. And in The Four Seasons, she challenges traditional ideas about long-term relationships, trying to dispel her friends’ romantic ideals about lasting unions.

In one particular scene, she challenges the common belief that everyone has a unique soulmate. “Is it plausible,” she questions, “that there’s one specific person for every individual on Earth, destined to be their partner?” Her companions are taken aback. Steve Carell’s character Nick queries, “Who,” he says, “extended the invitation to the ‘incel’?” The notion of soulmates is deeply ingrained in our romantic narratives, but her reasoning is undeniable.

In the Netflix series, which premiered just days before Mother’s Day, a group of three sets of longtime couple friends embark on four vacations together, each set in a different season. Despite being at varying stages of married life, they all find themselves in a similar situation – contemplating spending the rest of their lives with someone who has become ordinary or routine. The show explores various strategies to navigate this predicament. In the opening episode, which is set during spring, the wealthiest husband (portrayed by Carell) announces his intention to leave his wife of 25 years (Kenney). His discontentment mirrors that of many affluent individuals in the 21st century. With their children grown and out of the house, he yearns for adventure, while his wife seems more interested in virtual farming games like Farmville.

The divorce causes ripples in the relationships of other couples, a phenomenon well-documented in marriage research. As friends embark on their summer, fall, and winter outings, there’s much reflection and self-examination to be done. The new miniseries is adapted from a 1981 film of the same title written, directed, and starring Alan Alda. In the original, Alda portrayed a therapist character who served as the emotional heart, always striving to be noble. In this modern adaptation, penned by Tina Fey, Lang Fisher, and Tracey Wigfeld, the central role is taken by Fey’s character. This character is often so focused on doing what’s right that she can come across as a bit of a party-pooper.

As a film enthusiast, I find it intriguing to delve into the long-term mating patterns that have evolved over time. It’s fascinating to note that since the debut of the first “Four Seasons,” the annual divorce rate has seen a significant decrease by approximately one-third. Surprisingly, the marriage rate has also dwindled, but this trend doesn’t seem to affect the demographic of college-educated individuals who are often portrayed in both these cinematic masterpieces.

In today’s world, same-sex couples can legally tie the knot (the characters in this film are skillfully played by Colman Domingo and Marco Calvani), and there’s a growing curiosity about ethical non-monogamy, where individuals engage in consensual extra-marital relationships. This shift in societal norms is truly remarkable to observe on the silver screen.

Kate quickly dismisses the recent idea of her having a lover, calling it “nauseating.” She shares this opinion with her friend Domingo. She also jokes about rich men replacing their first wives with an upgraded version. When Nick brings his girlfriend on a trip, it seems to cast a strange light on the usual routines of the other couples. Nick calls them odd, but Kate resents the implication that spouses can be easily replaced. She finds it peculiar that Anne isn’t there and thinks it’s weird for a girlfriend to have been born after Reagan was shot.

It appears that Fey and her writing crew are exploring the question of why people get married today, particularly for women who often initiate divorces. Traditional reasons such as sexual gratification, children, financial stability, and social status have become less compelling since they can be obtained without marriage. Interestingly, many married individuals still claim to be happier than singles, except for older women. However, the survival rate of first marriages is only around 59%, which isn’t a large percentage. The divorce rate remains stable among people aged 50 and above, a group that this show primarily focuses on. Fey and her team make an effort to portray both parties in a divorce with understanding. No character is excluded from the narrative simply because their marriage didn’t last.

Indeed, there are certain aspects of long-term relationships that have remained consistent over the years – whether we’re talking about 44 years since “The Four Seasons” was first released, 302 years since Vivaldi composed his concerti, or even since the four distinct seasons were first recognized. For instance, spouses can still drive each other up the wall by doing the very thing that initially attracted them to one another. A sense of comforting stability can sometimes feel stagnant, like inertia. A partner who is gentle might be perceived as weak or incapable. Receiving nurturing care can occasionally feel overbearing. Furthermore, everyone claims they want couples therapy but rarely seek it out, and while everyone supposedly craves more intimacy, putting that desire into action can prove challenging.

Tina Fey, herself, has been married for close to 25 years and has known her husband, Jeff Richmond, for over half her lifespan. In a speech from 2010, she recalled their first encounter: “I wore short hair with a perm on top and oversized denim shorts overalls.” She emphasized that this is proof of the authenticity of their love. Similarly, Tina Fey’s character, Kate, values the longevity of relationships beyond physical attraction. It should come as no shock to fans of romantic comedies that her belief that marital problems stem from character flaws rather than circumstances ultimately backfires on her.

Eventually, despite its challenges, the series concludes with an optimistic tone. Just like mastering the violin – a continuous journey filled with repetition, errors, and sacrificing enjoyable activities – marriage can seem arduous. However, it’s the reward that makes it all worthwhile. And it’s not merely because a violin won’t leave you; it’s about the connection, the knowledge, and the experience that grow over time. Even long-married couples may yearn for the initial passion, but they don’t necessarily wish to return to it. As Domingo’s character suggests, what we have now is a result of conscious choice – “What we have now,” he says, “is not something beyond our control when we’re young and in love; what we have now is a choice, a result of knowledge and experience. We have chosen each other.” In essence, it’s less about finding your soulmate and more about becoming one.

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2025-05-10 00:06

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