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TikToker Drew Afualo on How She Found Her Confidence

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TikToker Drew Afualo on How She Found Her Confidence

As a seasoned movie critic with a penchant for uncovering the heart and soul of a story, I find myself utterly captivated by the journey of TikTok sensation Dana “Dolly” Afualo, also known as @dollyparton4prez. Her life, as chronicled in her debut book “Loud: A Memoir,” is not just a tale of resilience and self-discovery, but a testament to the power of self-love, family, and standing up against societal norms that seek to diminish us.

Since the start of 2020, content creator Drew Afualo has gained recognition online by skillfully countering misogynists with sharp wit. For instance, her recent retort to right-wing commentator Pearl Davis (also known as JustPearlyThings) serves as a prime example. Davis, in an act of fatphobia and racism, hurled offensive comments at Afualo and her partner. This incident underscores the fact that Afualo’s roasts are suitable for all audiences, not just men.

As a seasoned author with a substantial social media following, I am thrilled to announce that my second billboard in the bustling city of New York proudly showcases my debut book, published by none other than Questlove himself! With over 8 million followers, I’ve managed to create a platform for myself and my work, and I can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment.

— Drew Afualo (@DrewAfualo) July 16, 2024

At 28 years old, Afualo refuses to let offensive remarks from bigots and misogynists affect her feelings as she has cultivated her own self-confidence. Her unique mix of sharp humor, wit, and swift comebacks directed at those who behave poorly online has earned her over eight million followers on TikTok and one million on Instagram. Her unwavering self-assuredness is evident in the few videos she shares on TikTok each week.

In her latest publication titled “Loud: Embrace a Life That Demands Respect“, Afualo delves into her personal experiences and relationships, highlighting the events that have molded her self-assuredness. Speaking to TIME, she asserts, “Everything that boosts my confidence, everything that makes me cherish myself, everything that made me feel like the epitome of coolness, has nothing to do with how I appear physically.” Positioned as a blend of guide, declaration, and personal account, “Loud” additionally offers strategies for those who are not misogynistic to challenge patriarchy.

“According to Afualo, patriarchy significantly impacts various forms of prejudice. It seeps into aspects we cherish, such as our speech, fashion choices, and entertainment preferences. Essentially, men’s approval might subtly shape these elements, making them appear attractive or ‘awesome’.”

From her home office, an hour away from Los Angeles, Afualo is preparing to release “Loud”. On the same day of publication, she and her co-host sister Deison will kick off a nationwide tour to celebrate the launch. “I’m feeling both exhausted and thrilled,” she shares. “As a Virgo, I find energy in my work.”

Born during the internet era, Afualo is well-acquainted with books penned by influential figures. In the early 2010s, it became a burgeoning trend for content creators to venture beyond their digital domains and into mainstream culture. YouTube personalities like Tyler Oakley, Zoe Sugg (Zoella), Tanya Burr, and Alfie Deyes were among those who wrote books; some delved into non-fiction while others experimented with fiction. Over the years, this trend has waned as the authenticity of books written by popular creators reaching mainstream success has been questioned.

Initially, Afualo was hesitant about writing a book, believing herself to be merely an online jester and thinking that her thoughts were insignificant for publishing. However, after conferring with various publishers towards the end of 2022, she began to embrace the concept. The publishers explained that a book would provide her with a platform to delve deeper into her ideas and philosophies, which are often challenging to convey in brief internet clips. Nowadays, she admits that TikTok’s extended 10-minute video option allows her to talk excessively.

As a passionate film enthusiast, I’m thrilled to share that my work found a home with Questlove’s imprint Auwa Books, under the esteemed publishing house Farrar, Straus, and Giroux. In Questlove’s words, “I don’t see her as a fleeting sensation.” He discovered my content during the pandemic and felt compelled to say, “She has a unique voice, and when you manage to bottle that lightning in writing, it becomes an eternal keepsake.”

In the course of her book, Afualo explores various aspects of her life that have molded her. Growing up, she found solace in her Samoan family amidst the unease of being a person of color who didn’t align with Eurocentric beauty ideals. She attributes her worldview and self-assurance to her mother, who has played a crucial role in shaping her into the individual she is today. At one point in the book, Afualo recounts feeling insecure about her size when compared to one of her white friends. However, her mother effectively quelled this insecurity by saying, “You’ll never resemble her, but that’s not a negative thing and it doesn’t make you less attractive.”

Some chapters took longer than others to write, she says, because they required her to confront more challenging and difficult moments in her life, like her admittedly not-so-great reaction to her sister coming out to her. “In the initial stages of writing about these things, I wasn’t being as vulnerable as I could have been because I do get nervous about that,” she says. Her editor would gently nudge her and ask her to pull out more from the experience, which Afualo says she was grateful for because otherwise, she knew she was being superficial. “I feel like when you want to have vulnerable conversations, but you’re unwilling to be vulnerable, you sound like an asshole.”

As a movie-goer putting this experience into words, I must confess that penning the most challenging scene was my 2020 pregnancy scare ordeal, a tale I share here with you. In the book, I recall heartfelt discussions with my partner, Pili, and our mutual understanding that parenthood wasn’t in our immediate plans. Upon receiving the positive pregnancy test result, we drove wordlessly to the abortion clinic. Before undergoing the procedure, I took another test, only to discover it was a false positive – a reality that brought both relief and reflection. In those moments, I found myself contemplating my own desires: I didn’t yearn to become “a mom,” but instead to continue being “my mom” – a role that holds a special place in my heart.

Afualo expresses, “That particular line I penned left me teary-eyed at the time, and it still does,” she shares. “As I was writing it, I found myself reflecting on its depth.” Lately, she’s shared this emotional passage with her mother and sister, causing them all to weep together. Reading it out loud for the audiobook was just as tough. Throughout the recording session, she often needed a moment to compose herself while going through that chapter. “I may come across as harsh online, but deep down I’m quite sensitive, being a Cancer moon,” she admits.

Afualo has always been drawn to self-help literature and harbored the desire to contribute to that genre, despite acknowledging she’s not a psychologist. She explains her unique expertise lies in personally navigating and unraveling deep-seated biases and prejudices within herself. This journey led her to a point where she can confidently disregard male perspectives and walk with self-assurance rooted solely in her own self-perception, rather than how others, specifically men, view her.

With her insightful perspective, Afualo, according to Questlove, embodies the collective voice of numerous women worldwide who are weary of the nonsense they encounter.

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2024-07-31 00:06

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