The True Story Behind Fairyland‘s Magical and Tragic Father-Daughter Drama

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In 1973, Alysia and Steve Abbott’s lives were forever altered by the sudden death of Alysia’s mother, Steve’s wife, in a car accident. The following year, with Alysia being only six years old, they moved from Atlanta to San Francisco. This move allowed Steve to live openly as a gay man and focus on his poetry. Alysia beautifully shares the story of her unique upbringing in her 2013 memoir, *Fairyland*, offering a rare look at what it was like to be raised by a gay father during the 1970s and 80s. Now, over a decade later, a film adaptation of the book, also called *Fairyland*, has been released in theaters.

As a lifelong moviegoer, I was really drawn to this story. It centers on Alysia Abbott’s childhood, which was pretty unconventional, even for San Francisco in the 70s. The film beautifully portrays her early years – young Alysia is played by Nessa Dougherty, and as she grows up, Emilia Jones takes on the role. She and her dad, Steve (played by Scoot McNairy), moved around a lot with some interesting characters before finally finding a stable place when Alysia was eight, right in the middle of the Haight-Ashbury counterculture scene. Alysia, who’s also an executive producer on the film, explained that the title reflects the special world they created. Her dad, after losing her mom, was a single gay man experiencing a newfound freedom. San Francisco at the time felt like a magical place, a true wonderland, but sadly, like all utopias, it couldn’t last. It’s a bittersweet story, and I think it really captures that feeling of a fleeting moment in time.

The AIDS epidemic caused immense loss of life worldwide, hitting LGBTQ+ communities, especially the thriving scene in San Francisco, particularly hard. While Alysia was studying at NYU and spending a year in Paris, her partner, Steve, received an AIDS diagnosis. She returned home to care for him, but he sadly passed away in December 1992 at the age of 49.

Finding a kindred spirit in a director

Shortly after its publication, Sofia Coppola, the Oscar-winning filmmaker, discovered Abbott’s memoir. She recalls reading it when it first came out, immediately drawn in by the cover photo and her own childhood memories of San Francisco in the early 1970s. Coppola found the story deeply touching, noting its similarity to the 1973 film *Paper Moon* – a story about a father and daughter – but also recognizing that this particular story hadn’t been told before. She secured the rights to adapt the memoir into a film back in 2013, though it took almost ten years for the project to come to fruition. This marks the first time Coppola has produced a film that wasn’t one she also directed, a challenging feat considering how difficult it is to finance small, personal dramas in the independent film world.

Coppola realized her friend and frequent collaborator, Andrew Durham, was the ideal director for *Fairyland*. She explains, “I immediately thought he’d be perfect for this story because he’d had a similar life experience and could bring a genuine perspective to it.”

As a film enthusiast, I was really struck by how much of Durham’s life mirrored Alysia’s story. He grew up in San Francisco around the same time she did, and his childhood was similarly shaped by a big change. His parents divorced when he was about ten, and his father came out and moved them to the city. It was a bit of a dual life – weekends were spent with his dad and his new circle of friends in San Francisco, then back to a typical suburban life with soccer and school during the week. Sadly, like Alysia’s father, Durham’s dad also passed away due to complications from AIDS.

Abbott, like Durham, realized she was different as a child. She noticed she didn’t have a mother like her classmates, and the families she saw on television didn’t resemble her own. She often spent time with her grandparents and cousins, wishing she had the same kind of family she saw on TV – siblings and a mother. She even told her dad this, and he tried to find a solution by inviting a single mother and her child to live with them, hoping Abbott could gain a sister and a mother figure. While it seemed like a good idea, it didn’t work out because the woman’s discipline style clashed with her father’s. Still, her dad did his best to make her feel less lonely.

Growing up, the stigma surrounding homophobia deeply affected Abbott, even while living in San Francisco. The film portrays a young Alysia concealing her father’s sexuality from her peers, and actively hiding any signs of his identity when friends visited – a reality mirrored in Alysia’s own life. This duality particularly struck Durham. “Alysia’s description of keeping these two worlds separate in her memoir really hit home,” Durham explains. “I understood that difficult balancing act kids face.” Durham also shared a strong connection to Alysia’s experience when her father became ill, noting the parallels between their situations were striking. “It felt like looking in a mirror,” she says.

Seeing a father through a new set of eyes

While Abbott contributed to the making of the film, she happily allowed Durham and Coppola to lead the creative process for *Fairyland*. She believes the most successful movie adaptations aren’t exact copies of the books they’re based on. Instead, they’re films where the director brings their own unique vision to the story, using the book as inspiration rather than a strict blueprint. The film took nearly ten years to complete, giving Durham ample time to refine the script and truly capture the spirit of *Fairyland*. Abbott’s key contribution lay in ensuring the film’s physical elements were just right.

I remember Abbott telling me about a trip she took to San Francisco with Andrew. They visited the San Francisco Public Library, where her father’s personal papers were archived. Going through those boxes together, Andrew actually uncovered some material that hadn’t made it into the book, and he was able to incorporate it into the film. And Durham really dove deep into those journals too! It wasn’t just about understanding how Abbott crafted her memoir; it gave him a whole new perspective on Steve – a glimpse into his life outside of his relationship with Alysia. It was fascinating to see that other side of him.

One particularly memorable scene in the film deeply resonated with Abbott. He describes a moment where his father is shown alone in a bar, wearing a cowboy hat and attempting to meet someone, simply to avoid returning home alone. While Abbott didn’t experience this firsthand as a child, he found it incredibly insightful to see his father’s perspective through the filmmaker’s vision. He was especially moved by the vulnerability McNairy brought to the portrayal, finding the scene profoundly touching.

The film includes many personal belongings of the real Alysia Abbott, adding a deeply touching sense of authenticity. For example, all the photos displayed in Alysia’s grandmother’s house (played by Geena Davis) are actual photos of the real Alysia. A particularly moving scene in *Fairyland* shows Alysia returning home from NYU to visit her father. In that scene, actress Emilia Jones, playing Alysia, gives him a handmade book containing her college writings – it’s the very same book Abbott gifted to her own father.

One scene in *Fairyland* was inspired by a conversation the author, Ryan Durham, had with his father. In the film, Alysia visits the pharmacy to get her dad’s medicine and unexpectedly runs into an old college roommate working there. While this didn’t happen to Alysia personally, it’s rooted in Durham’s own experience. He recalls being concerned about his father’s medication, AZT, due to its harmful side effects. His father explained he wasn’t taking it for himself, but in hopes that it would contribute to a future cure for AIDS – a prediction that ultimately came true. That powerful conversation stayed with Durham, and he paid tribute to his father and others who bravely underwent early AIDS treatments by having the pharmacist, played by Maria Bakalova, deliver a similar speech in the film, acknowledging their sacrifice and contribution to the eventual cure.

Capturing the highs and lows

Alysia didn’t have a simple relationship with her father. He often went out searching for his own path, which meant a young Alysia frequently had to manage things on her own. Despite their difficulties, it’s clear Steve always wanted the best for his daughter. The story, *Fairyland*, explores the coming-of-age journeys of both Alysia and Steve. According to Coppola, a particularly moving moment is when Steve admits he wasn’t prepared to be a father, and later, Alysia isn’t ready to care for him. This highlights how they both found themselves in caretaking roles before they were ready – a universal experience that beautifully mirrors their individual growth.

The documentary *Fairyland* honestly portrays both the hardships and joys in Alysia and Steve’s life together. The scenes featuring the Pride parade are particularly moving, as attending parades with her father holds a special place in Alysia’s heart. Director Ry Russo-Young skillfully blends old home movies with new footage of Alysia and her father, beautifully grounding their story in the past. Despite a tight budget and a short 21-day filming schedule, the use of archival footage actually enhances the film’s impact. As Francis Ford Coppola notes, limitations can spark creativity. Director Nicole Durham emphasizes the importance of acknowledging the archival footage as a way to honor those who came before.

Abbott shares that the Pride scenes are particularly meaningful to her in *Fairyland*. She explains that growing up, she felt she had to conceal her relationship with her father, but attending Pride parades allowed them both to feel joyful and free. “It was just really joyous,” she says. Abbott also notes the importance of portraying this joy, especially in the face of government disapproval. She’s thankful the film captures this vital part of their history.

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2025-10-07 19:07