The toxic talk about Abbie Chatfield’s boyfriend disgusts even me. We’ve all heard it. Is nobody going to say something? AMANDA GOFF

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Let me be clear: I’m no fan of Abbie Chatfield.

I don’t really like her boyfriend, Adam Hyde, either. You know him – the singer from Peking Duk with the long hair who always looks sweaty.

I don’t dislike Abbie because of work or politics. The real reason is she betrayed my trust years ago by sharing a personal message I sent her – a message about my child. She then encouraged her followers to attack me, and that’s something I can’t forgive.

As many people know from my life and work, I’ve always kept my family private. So, when she violated that boundary, I was incredibly angry.

It felt very rewarding to see Abbie face a defamation lawsuit after she did something similar – she shared private messages from a former friend on Instagram to her large following and falsely accused him of supporting genocide.

She paid him a significant amount – $79,000 – and hopefully, this experience will prevent her from making a similar mistake in the future.

I never imagined I’d be writing in defense of Abbie, or her partner – the one known for being a bit messy and sporting kohl eyeliner. Seriously, it’s something I never expected.

But here we are.

Let me be clear: I really can’t stand Abbie and Adam (also known as Keli Holiday). But, despite that, I’m going to defend them, which might surprise you.

I’m glad I don’t live in Sydney’s eastern suburbs anymore, but my friends who still live in Bondi tell me this guy acts like he’s incredibly important and always looks like he could use a good wash.

It’s a common story online: Adam is now caught up in the same social media harassment his girlfriend has faced since appearing on The Bachelor.

Oh, believe me, I get it. In my previous line of work, I faced really hurtful comments – people actually joked about me needing to ‘clean myself up.’ It was awful. But I’ve learned a trick: I just let those comments roll off my back. It’s a bit ironic, considering, but it really helps!

It’s not just his appearance as a ’70s rock star that bothers me. It’s the constant shirtless dancing, his overly exposed chest, and the messy eyeliner he wears.

Then there’s the overly dramatic public displays of affection towards Abbie, which were especially awkward at the ARIA Awards last week.

As I was accepting the award for ‘Dancing2’, I just had to publicly thank my girlfriend, Abbie. She’s truly my muse – honestly, this song wouldn’t have happened without her inspiration and support. It’s a total love letter to her, and she definitely deserves all the credit!

Later, Abbie told a reporter: ‘We’re going to have a lot of fun after the show.’

Pass the bucket.  

Even though the whole situation is ridiculous, I have to address the harassment Abbie and Adam are receiving. It’s foolish, unacceptable, and there’s no excuse for it.

It’s the word ‘cuck’.

A group of men who identify as ‘involuntary celibates’ – meaning they are unable to find romantic partners – are attacking Abbie Chatfield’s views on feminism, blaming her for their dating struggles. They’ve now given her boyfriend the insulting nickname ‘Peaking Cuck.’ It’s hardly an original insult, though.

Okay, let’s talk about a term you might be seeing online – ‘cuck.’ It’s important to understand this isn’t about its original, old-fashioned meaning related to infidelity. Nowadays, it’s unfortunately used as an insult, aimed at men who are perceived as being too passive, easily controlled, or lacking assertiveness within their relationships. It’s a way to try and shame men for not being ‘dominant’ – and it’s definitely a term with negative connotations you should be aware of.

Trolls aren’t calling Adam a ‘cuck’ because Abbie is unfaithful – she isn’t.

The hateful comments stem from the fact that Adam openly loves Abbie and doesn’t care about her past relationships, which infuriates those who present themselves as morally superior online.

So they pretend that he’s less of a man for it.

Let’s be real: many of you who are angry and feel rejected may not have had sexual experiences, but the vast majority of women have.

Criticizing Adam for his girlfriend’s openness and confidence is disrespectful to all women and the people who care about them.

Adam and Abbie have publicly stated they aren’t offended by the term ‘cuck,’ even describing it as funny in a recent interview with Pedestrian TV.

But for ordinary men and women, it stings.

This creates shame for women and can make some men question whether their partner is ‘good enough’ for marriage based on her previous relationships or experiences.

In short, it’s a slur that can wreck relationships.

Let me tell you, as someone who spends a lot of time understanding relationships, it’s genuinely disturbing to see how quickly some men will dismiss a woman based on her past. I’ve unfortunately seen firsthand – you really only need to spend a short time exploring certain online corners – where they openly discuss ending relationships simply because of a partner’s sexual history. It’s a really disheartening reflection of some problematic attitudes out there.

This insult implies the woman has lost value because of past relationships, suggesting she’s ‘damaged,’ and that the man dating her is either pitiful or has low standards.

For some men, being with a woman who has had previous relationships feels like a deeply humiliating experience. They might see it as incredibly shameful and degrading.

The insult ‘cuck’ is almost always used by men who lack real-world experience – often those who are socially isolated and whose only positive interaction with a woman happened a long time ago, as they haven’t had any since.

It’s pure misogyny disguised as banter – and needs to die a death, fast. 

What’s particularly concerning about this word is how readily it’s promoted by social media algorithms. If you spend even a short time looking at a post using it to mock someone, the platforms will quickly show you many more similar posts.

It’s almost as if they want men to hate women.

Even though I’m not a fan of Abbie Chatfield, I think it’s important to say this: a man who loves a woman who’s experienced life, dated, and is comfortable with her sexuality isn’t weak at all. It actually shows he’s confident, secure, and honest.

It really is as simple as that. 

Honestly, it’s ridiculous that some people try to disqualify women based on their past relationships. It feels incredibly unfair when you consider most men have a history they wouldn’t want fully exposed! They often have moments they’re not proud of, yet we don’t hold them to the same impossible standard. It’s a double standard, plain and simple, and the idea that a woman’s past makes her ‘unmarriable’ just doesn’t sit right with me.

Abbie isn’t perfect – she seems to be a bully who pretends to be morally righteous. And Adam? He’s a showy singer who really bothers me.

I won’t stand for this disrespect towards them. Adam doesn’t deserve to be treated this way just for being open and proud of who he loves, and neither does anyone else.

It’s 2025. This sickening slur is beyond the pale and must stop.

 

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