The Most Disappointing Movies of 2024

As we look back at the ups and downs of the last year, we can’t help but focus on the bright side. It might seem strange, but there’s a certain allure in revisiting the more challenging experiences of the past 12 months. Just like movies, the entertainment released this year may not have been everyone’s cup of tea.

Instead of focusing on our worst tendencies and merely pointing out the negative aspects, let’s also acknowledge the things that were truly underwhelming or fell short of expectations. It’s simple enough to identify what was bad, as the truly terrible usually has little chance of being good. The disappointment, however, often stems from the fact that there was so much potential for it to be excellent.

This list includes movies that caught our attention due to intriguing storylines, renowned filmmakers, star-studded casts, or compelling source material. However, despite these appealing factors, they failed to live up to expectations and left us disappointed, even though we had high hopes. We’re not suggesting you can’t enjoy them, but we believe they fell short of their potential greatness.

The Most Disappointing Movies of 2024

Drive-Away Dolls

The film titled “Drive-Away Dolls” boasted several promising elements: a crime comedy helmed by a Coen brother, featuring the witty duo Margaret Qualley and Geraldine Viswanathan, along with Pedro Pascal and Matt Damon in supporting roles. It was also a refreshing addition to the genre, offering a queer and sex-positive perspective that is often absent from stories dominated by masculine heroes. However, despite these promising aspects, the film ended up being a disorganized mess. The tone and plot were confusing, the action was hard to follow, and the humor, unfortunately, fell flat. It left us yearning for the Coen brothers to reunite (which fortunately seems to have happened already).

Kung Fu Panda 4

Without a doubt, the Kung Fu Panda films are truly exceptional and can stand shoulder to shoulder with DreamWorks’ finest works, such as How to Train Your Dragon. While they may seem light-hearted, filled with humor derived from a chubby protagonist who adores food, the first three installments delve into deeper themes like challenging stereotypes, teamwork with unlikely allies, and taking on tasks you might not feel equipped for. Regrettably, the fourth movie moved away from the emotionally engaging narratives of its predecessors towards a more formulaic action fantasy, resembling a collection of the best moments from previous films. To make matters worse, the Furious Five are absent in this one, leaving many viewers wondering why they should even bother watching it.

Abigail

This year’s biggest letdown in terms of movies with fantastic concepts was “Abigail.” It was supposed to be an ensemble action-horror about a group of criminals discovering the little girl they’ve just kidnapped is a psychopathic vampire, which sounds like it could have been a slam dunk. However, something fell short in this one. The dialogue between characters became overly exasperated and repetitive, and only a few of the death scenes were truly impressive. To make matters worse, the pacing was slow, and the ending felt predictable. In comparison, another movie set for release in 2024 featuring Dan Stevens as an odd villain called “Cuckoo” is a much better choice (although his delivery of one particular line in “Abigail” might be worth checking out).

The Fall Guy

Title character, The Fall Guy, seems to strive hard to embody multiple genres: action comedy, action romance, suspense, and an homage to filmmaking. It does manage some success in these areas, but regrettably, such instances are scarce. Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt make a charming duo as an unconventional artistic pair, the premise of a stuntman transitioning into an action hero is witty and original, and the action sequences (considering this is a film about stunts) are gripping and authentic. However, much of the rest feels overly conscious of its own cleverness, which can be rather grating. In essence, The Fall Guy is a movie that you can easily appreciate while still yearning for it to be significantly better.

The Crow

Look, it wasn’t really expected that the remake of “The Crow” would be a masterpiece, but still. Starring Bill Skarsgard as the title character and FKA Twigs as his cosmic-doomed lover, the movie makes a strong effort to distinguish itself from the original, which is renowned for its tragedy as much as it’s cherished for its stubbornness in telling its own story. However, the 2024 version of “The Crow” lacks the mystique of its predecessor and its efforts to modernize the material only create confusion, losing focus amidst a jumble of worn-out horror, action, and fantasy tropes. Even Danny Huston, who was chilling as the villain in “30 Days of Night,” seems unremarkable here, playing a conniving antagonist with little to truly connive about.

Venom: The Last Dance

Hey fellow movie enthusiasts, let me express my bewilderment over the Venom franchise. Despite our puzzlement, we empathize with your plight, especially following this year’s underwhelming finale of the Venom saga that failed yet again to bring Venom and Spider-Man together. The offbeat duo of Tom Hardy and his symbiote was always more appealing in the fleeting instances of character development we witnessed in the quiet corners of the first two films. Regrettably, _The Last Dance_ is the final chapter, which means it needs to be grandiose, dramatic, and thematically complex – aspects that leave little room for the elements we genuinely appreciate about these intriguing characters. On a positive note, it does feature a Venom Horse and a Venom Frog, so there’s always that!

Wicked

Opinionated viewpoint: The film adaptation of “Wicked” falls short in my opinion. While the songs and the narrative (to some extent) are commendable due to the quality of the original musical, as well as the impressive performances by Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande as Elphaba and Glinda, respectively, the film itself appears burdened by its own grandeur – an excessive amount of backdrop scenery, intricate costumes that often become obscured due to over-darkening or poor lighting in each scene. Despite its lengthy three-hour runtime, it only manages to tell half a story, leaving us with the sense of an unfulfilled dramatic emotional journey.

Dear Santa

Similar to Abigail, the concept behind Dear Santa seems promising at first: When a child with dyslexia accidentally addresses his Christmas list to “Satan” instead of “Santa”, Satan disguises himself as old Saint Nick and fulfills the child’s holiday wishes in order to claim his soul. However, despite the potential of Jack Black and the Farrelly brothers, the movie fails to deliver, being overly strange and tonally inconsistent to the point where it becomes difficult for anyone to find enjoyment. The fact that it was quietly released on Paramount+ is a clear sign of its quality.

Nightbitch

In the review, we express that our concerns about the Nightbitch trailer were justified. Marielle Heller’s film adaptation of Rachel Yoder’s novel portrays modern motherhood’s chaos through Amy Adams as a woman who believes she’s transforming into a dog and going on nightly adventures. This concept alone could have been entertaining, but unfortunately, the movie takes a serious approach, avoiding its unique premise as if it’s apprehensive to be a film about a werewoman named Nightbitch. Instead, it strives to be a less exciting drama focusing on a woman struggling with family and suburban life constraints. The film fails to blend these two ideas effectively, choosing sincerity over anything amusing or thrilling.

The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim

Warner Bros. didn’t acknowledge until after its premiere that the film “The War of the Rohirrim” was hastily produced in an attempt to retain the rights to “The Lord of the Rings,” and this revelation wasn’t surprising, given the movie’s underwhelming quality. The lengthy anime feature, based on scant historical context and featuring a fictional main character, was dull and poorly executed, leaving us with the hope that there won’t be any more “Lord of the Rings” projects in the near future. Essentially serving as a prolonged response to the unasked question “Why is Helm’s Deep called Helm’s Deep?”, the movie felt more like an explanatory post rather than a fully-developed film.

The Worst Movies of 2024

12. Argylle

Similar to director Matthew Vaughn who enjoys the 60s and 70s spy films, including those that are quirky and somewhat cheesy, I too appreciate such a mix. Not every thriller needs to be overly serious; many today already are. Therefore, I’m open to movies like Argylle that offer some character and wholeheartedly embrace extravagant action sequences.

However, what I admire in those classic films – the stunning locations, awe-inspiring practical stunts, genuine romantic tension – seems lacking in Argylle. Instead, we find ourselves within a complicated narrative that feels like it’s been borrowed from much better movies, accompanied by an abundance of unattractive green screen scenes. Additionally, the post-credits scene is perplexing to say the least – perhaps the most bewildering I have ever encountered in my movie-watching life.

11. The Crow

15 years may seem like ample time to craft a stellar remake of the ’90s goth icon, The Crow. Yet, here we are in 2024, and despite my anticipation for the opera-filled reimagining of this beloved Hot Topic franchise, I found myself struggling through most of the film. Bill Skarsgard, who captivated audiences as the new Nosferatu, fell short as the latest incarnation of The Crow. His portrayal of a man returning from the afterlife to avenge his lost love while brooding shirtlessly was, sadly, forgettable. In my humble opinion, while this new Crow may not surpass the original, it’s also not drastically inferior to it either.

10. Lift

• A generic title of no more than three words.
• Bland digital photography without style or panache.
• Big-name stars who are not too big to take a low-effort, high-salary paycheck.
• A plot that involves a bunch of international locations in countries where Netflix sells subscriptions.
• At least one sequence where they clearly never went to said international location and shot the entire thing on an obvious green screen instead.

9. IF

In today’s cinema landscape, it’s uncommon to encounter films like John Krasinski’s “IF” that lack the mass appeal Hollywood often aims for. Instead of nurturing art, their primary goal is usually preserving and maximizing the worth of intellectual property. These days, movies are frequently fine-tuned and pre-screened until they lose any unique charm. They are meticulously crafted to attract the largest potential audience.

On the contrary, “IF” is a film that doesn’t seem to fit neatly into any demographic. The story revolves around a girl who grieves her mother and discovers she can communicate with forgotten ‘imaginary friends’ of other children. This slow-paced and melancholic tale may be too gloomy for kids, while adults might find it overly sentimental and overly cute. Despite urging audiences to lighten up, the film itself doesn’t offer any real enjoyment or fun. (Even the IF IHOP menu didn’t leave a memorable impression.)

8. Trigger Warning

In the movie “Trigger Warning” (wink wink), Jessica Alba stars as a top CIA agent who goes back to her small town, uncovering a plot surrounding a lucrative mine and a corrupt senator. It seems that low-tier thrillers like this one no longer have a home at Redbox, so they’re now appearing on the “Since You Liked ‘Rebel Ridge'” section of Netflix. (Please note: Even if you enjoyed ‘Rebel Ridge’, it is advisable not to watch this.)

7. Kraven the Hunter

Have you ever pondered about the origin of Kraven’s furry coat? If so, there’s a film for you! Unfortunately, if your curiosity lies primarily with Kraven’s wardrobe, you might find little satisfaction in “Kraven,” an exhaustingly long and meandering Spider-Man spinoff (without Spider-Man) that revolves around a human hunter (portrayed by Aaron Taylor-Johnson). The only distinct characteristics of this character are his chiseled physique. He engages in conflicts with his father, portrayed by Russell Crowe, who adopts a heavy Russian accent throughout the film. In this universe, the Rhino is depicted as a bumbling Russian criminal, who carries around a child-sized backpack filled with medicine to prevent him from transforming into a large, gray-skinned monster. It’s rumored that “Kraven” was the final straw for Sony’s Spider-Man spinoff universe, which I am thankful for. However, it still reeked terribly.

6. Rebel Moon — Part Two: The Scargiver

Initially, the initial part of Zack Snyder’s reimagined “Star Wars,” released towards the end of 2023, offered an enjoyable experience with its team-building movie concept that took place across various unusual sci-fi planets and alien species, complete with unique gadgetry. However, the second half — I should say, “Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver” — turned out to be a lengthy battle scene, made even more tiresome by Snyder’s excessive slow-motion cinematography. It was practically a snooze; I had to rewatch it three times because the artistic violence kept making me drowsy. At least the Scargiver inflicts some serious damage on those scars. I assume that the R-rated director’s cut — “Rebel Moon – Chapter Two: Curse of Forgiveness” — is superior. (Admittedly, I haven’t attempted to watch it yet.)

5. Night Swim

In a different phrasing:

The idea that any topic can produce a great film hinges on the quality of its execution. This theory is challenged by the movie “Night Swim,” a horror production revolving around a contented family whose lives are disrupted by a pool that seems to be haunted. The execution, however, leaves much to be desired; at times it appears as if Wyatt Russell and Kerry Condon are pretending to swim in a green screen studio rather than enjoying a suburban backyard. But imagine this scenario: your pool is already dangerous before you even move in, causing near-drownings and hand injuries during cleaning, with your cat disappearing nearby and ghostly arms emerging from the filters. Under those circumstances, wouldn’t you eventually decide to stay out of the water? Frankly, Night Swim doesn’t scare me; I live in New York City during August with two kids who aren’t fortunate enough to have a pool. Now that is truly terrifying! They didn’t even have the courtesy to name this movie Pooltergeist! What’s going on here?

4. Red One

What strategies are used to hide the presence of mythical creatures when snowmen with colossal ice swords cause havoc at popular beaches? Why does Dwayne Johnson’s character, Callum Drift, possess Ant-Man abilities and why is Santa Claus’ bodyguard called “Callum Drift”? If Santa has such immense power, why does he require security guards? Is it mandatory for The Rock to wear Under Armor in every scene of his films? Why do movies cost $250 million and appear visually unappealing? Lastly, who is the intended audience for Red One? This film seems to be a Christmas-themed blockbuster with an absurd plot involving Santa’s kidnapping, excessive profanity, frightening monsters, and explicit shots of female bodies. While people might watch it on Amazon despite its poor quality, it is indeed very low-quality.

3. Borderlands

> In a future biography about Cate Blanchett’s remarkable career, the transition from portraying the character Lydia Tár, who seemingly took on the task of composing the score for “Monster Hunter” out of sheer necessity, to playing in this uninspiring video game adaptation, will undoubtedly make an intriguing contrast. Moreover, while the film adaptation of the “Borderlands” series is indeed subpar (to put it mildly), it was somewhat refreshing, after a string of well-regarded video game movies and shows, to encounter one that was consistently poor in quality. It seems that nature may be slowly healing itself.

2. Madame Web

As a devoted cinephile, I must admit that the film “Madame Web” feels somewhat awkward in its comic book origins, much like some pre-Marvel Studios Marvel movies. Dakota Johnson, our leading lady, seems to grapple with her character Cassie Webb, who is never referred to as Madame Web throughout the movie. It’s a curious title, one that our protagonist doesn’t embody in either name or attire, sporting a superhero costume only once. The air of self-consciousness is palpable, and under the circumstances, it’s not hard to understand why.

The film is zany, peculiar, bordering on incoherence at times. It makes “The Amazing Spider-Man” look like a masterpiece by comparison. Imagine watching it with Kevin Feige; that would be quite an experience!

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2025-01-14 04:03